Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Happy Holiday Season To Everyone

I want to wish all who follow my blog a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a Happy New Year.

I really appreciate all who have followed, read and participated by commenting on my blogs. With all of you this blog would not be as successful as it has been this year - 2014.

2015 will be the year for all to be the authentic you and exist in the moment. The moment is all we have. Cannot fix the past and what has happened, Cannot predict the future. Don't stress you self thinking you do do either. Relax and live in the moment because it will be gone in a second. 

You deserve to be the you that you want to be and create the life you want. Strive to be balanced, fulfilled, happy, and successful in 2015!!!!!

  MAKE a POSITIVE CHANGE in you starting in the New Year

Sunday, November 30, 2014

4 Tips on Changing Old Thought Patterns

One of my popular clicked on articles is How to Change Old Patterns of Thinking. This article has been viewed over 13,000 times.  Why? Because people are dissatisfied with how they think and interested in changing them.

So how do you change thought patterns? Well there are four tips to accomplishing a significant change in the way you think and alter old thinking patterns for good.

Tip #1:

Determine the thoughts you would like to embed into your subconscious mind and write down those thoughts on paper. Title your list Positive Life Affirmations or PLA. Examples of some powerful of PLAs you can add to your list are:

You are happy,

You deserve to be healthy,

You are deserving of love,

You are prosperous 

You deserve to be productive 

Create and add any statements of positiveness you would like to be front and center in your conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list to no more than 10 positive life affirmations during any 30 day period.

Tip #2

Set up a daily schedule on your calendar. Commit to a time every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime) for thirty (30) days. During each daily scheduled time, read your list 4 times in a row. The most important time is just before you close your eyes to go asleep. Why? Think about it. Most people think of negative things like what went wrong today, what will I face in tomorrow, what I did like today and how do I fix what the mistakes of the day. Their subconscious mind mills over those answers all the time they are asleep and when they awaken they do not want to get out of bed because they are afraid things will go wrong and wrong things happen.

On the other hand if you feed your subconscious mind positive thoughts then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you asleep and in the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest that positive list and associate with positiveness in your life.

 Tip #3

Repetition is the third key. Practice, practice and practice your list some more. The more you repeat your list the quicker it embeds.

Repetition by someone else or self-repeating is how the old negative thoughts got into your subconscious mind originally. So through practice, the new thoughts will be accepted and replace the old ones. Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic Level athlete. The way to reach this goal is by practicing their skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is true about changing thoughts. The more you repeat, repeat and repeat your new positive life affirmation thought list the quicker your new thoughts will stream into you conscious without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #4

Emotional connectedness is the fourth key. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how the diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place.

How is emotional connected so important? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotion attachment. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached or you love can produce major hurt that cuts to your core.

The Secret

To be successful at changing your thought patterns just follow the four keys.  Make your list (no more than 10 positive life affirmations), repeat them at scheduled times and feel them as you repeat your new created positive thoughts and they will stay with you. 

After Thought

So the secret to altering old thought patterns is creation, consistency and emotional commitment to new thoughts. Repeat them to yourself until you set a new pattern of thinking and it will create a new mindset.

 Make a positive change today with the 30 Day Mind Changing Challenge. Take the Mini Challenge to see if you are ready to change your thoughts.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

9 Tips You are a Perfectionist


The biggest misconception in life is that “all good things come from being perfect.” Nothing in life could be further from the truth. The truth is that perfection is the major killer of joy, creativity, happiness and also successYet there are millions of people who are driven every day to attain what is not possible … perfection.

Actually perfection is the cause of deep disappointment.

If you always strive to be perfect … reaching for the golden ring of life … you will only find nothing but emptiness, dissatisfaction and loneliness. At the end of your effort there is only a rusted old hoop. 

One of the most creative painters of modern time, Salvador Dali said, “Have no fear of perfection – you'll never reach it.” 

Over the years, I have noticed that the issue of perfectionism is huge with a lot of the people I have talked with. When I ask the question, “Are you a perfectionist?” 95% of the people answered with a resounding, “No!” After a few follow up questions from me, 80% of those 95% say, “Well, I guess I am.”  If you think about it, you will see that achievement, promotion, raises, and advancements are all based on how well you perform not whether you are a perfectionist.

By definition, a perfectionist is a person who strains compulsively and unceasingly toward an unattainable goal (or goals). The measuring stick for their self-worth is marked off by periods of productivity and feats of accomplishment. When you pressure yourself to achieve unrealistic goals, you predictably set yourself up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to have the voice of a mean and judgmental critic in their head. It speaks up every time they fail to attain their own (or someone else’s) extremely unrealistic expectation.

So, how do you know if you are a perfectionist? You may be a perfectionist if you try to live by extremely unattainable standards, and you feel like a failure when you fail to meet them. You may be a perfectionist if your core beliefs about yourself tend to be punitive, rejecting, and downright nasty. You may be a perfectionist if the view you have of yourself tends to be tremendously negative. 

9 TIPS You Might Be a Perfectionist If:

1. You are always anxious, but you don’t know why.

2. You constantly doubt yourself.

3. You are continuously impatient.

4. You are fearful of the results if there is a chance you 
     might be wrong about something.

5. You procrastinate frequently.

6. You frequently stress over nothing.

7. You usually over-expect to the point of disappointment.

8. You under assess all your accomplishments, always 
     selling yourself short.

9. You often worry about how you will perform in the future.

Do you recognize any of these nine signs in yourself?

After Thoughts

Look at those signs again, and this time … only focus on the bold words while blocking out the rest. Do those words describe you? Is that how you feel and react every day? 

Here’s a suggestion to improve your mental and physical health … from here on out, let go of the concept of striving for perfection. Just be and do the best you can each day. Once you stop focusing on performing perfectly, then your creativity, joy, and happiness will come back in abundance.

Subscribe and Follow me by going to my Blog 

Click the link in the 2nd box on the right hand side -  "Subscribe to get updates from this Blog" so you get notified every time I publish a new blog.

Go to my website Making a Positive Change and get a free gift of my eBook.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Mind Code Rules Your World

Do you connect with any of the following questions?

Do you just react to situations in your life rather than proactively create a life you want?

Do you keep asking yourself like these questions below? Or do you keep coming back to these questions without seeming having an answer?

  • Are you tired of living life according to other people’s expectations?

  • Do your needs and desires always end up at the bottom of your list?

  • Is your life so busy that you don't have time to focus on yourself?

  • Confused about your future direction?  

  • Do you feel that your past has robbed you of a happy present? 

  • Do you feel that no matter how hard you work success is out of reach?

  • Do you believe that you are not able to have close relationships because you are unlovable?

  • Do you feel you can the master over your feelings but for some reason you fail at it?

  • Do you feel that no matter how much your exert effort to like you, you constantly end up judging yourself?
Do you know why you do what you do, think what you think, and feel what you feel?

For many the answer would be - NO. Even though the question appears to be simple, the answer is a lot harder. Science has been studying the human brain for decades and decades and still not much is known on how it functions.

I have been working on a method for over the past 10 years to assist people to recognize why him or her act the way they do, think the why they do and react emotionally. That method is called Personal PhilosophyMethod. I found that what influences humans the most and is the foundation of identity as well as the most important and first element of Personal Philosophy which is your core beliefs.

Core beliefs are the Windows to Mind Code

Core beliefs are self-messages you form about yourself during a life situation. You forms thousands and thousands over a life time. If your core beliefs are negative and if they get triggered by something in your life and surface into your consciousness you will subconsciously react with behaviors, thoughts and emotions that will be negative, self-harming, self-limiting or self-defeating. If your core beliefs are positive, then the reverse will be true and the life results will turn out to be positive.

The more I worked with core beliefs, the more I realized that core beliefs were formed by experiences but driven by something else something greater in your subconscious mind. I found out that core beliefs were just the product of some other compartment where all your reactions to life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually are "generated". This great compartment governs the content of all your core beliefs and powerfully propels you into action without you ever knowing.  Meaning if the majority of your core beliefs that you formed are negative then this compartment generates instructions based on the content of your core beliefs to your conscious mind. The instructions causes you consciously to produce a negative behavior, negative thought and negative emotion. This important compartment in your brain holds all your mind code

Your mind code is your mind’s embedded database or software. The mind code is all rules, regulations, beliefs, procedures, instructions, self-messages, and regulations for how you will act, feel, think and react.Your mind can only do what is written in your code. Nothing more and nothing less.

What can be done?

Now that you know about mind code and core beliefs is there anything you can do about it? It is possible to change your mind code so your code will be positive and beneficial?  The answer is YES. There is a product available now that will could guide and assist you to recognize your core beliefs, core values and core expectations in less than one month. It is called the 30 Day Life Changing Mind Challenge.

Click on the link below and see how you can change your life by changing you're your brain’s software in on quick month.

To experience what the challenge is like take this mini mind challenge for free.

                              View Original Full Article



Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dr. Bill's New Video Podcast - Happiness Balance Change - now available

I am really excited to announce I have made a new video podcast - Happiness Balance Change - for my Making a Positive Change website and Making a Positive Change with Dr. Bill Blog.

Happiness Balance Change is available on iTunes.

Check it out today. 

Know that happiness, balance and change is possible.
Here are the links to the iTunes Podcast Happiness Balance Change. Please subscribe and you will get all the new updates as they come out.

Happiness Balance Change Podcast

Something New 

For my Friends who want to learn more about making positive changes in their lives and follow the insights of Dr Bill. 

I have a new video podcast - Happiness Balance Change. If you have a iTunes account then go to iTunes, click on Podcast at the iTunes Store at the top. 

Then in the search bar type in Dr Bill Tollefson and click on my new podcast - Happiness Balance Change and watch my video podcast. 

Episode One

Welcome to Happiness Balance Change Podcast Channel

Episode Two:

Inner Critic

Growth is accomplished through acquiring new learn. Hope you like it.

Be focused. Change will not evade you. Faith in yourself is paramount to any accomplishment of happiness, change or balance.

Friday, September 12, 2014

7 Tips on Changing Bad Habits to Positive

It is common knowledge that a habit becomes very comfortable whether it is good, bad, non-serving or toxic. 

Yes there are habits that are good, friendly and serve you but there are also habits that are not good for you and affects your mental, physical and spiritual health adversely as well as affect your relationships and your life. 

Habits generally go unnoticed to many and sometimes add to an individual’s personal style. Habit can develop as part of an individual's personality the more it is repeated.

Why don't you change or stay with what doesn't work?  

Once you become comfortable in any habit, breaking it is very hard and uncomfortable. Sometime your excuses or reasons for not changing are more powerful that the habit you need to change.

You can stay in a habit because for some reason it serves you. You can stay with a habit out of fear. 

You can stay with a habit because you are scared of change and the outcome of what change will produce or require. 

Or you can stay with a habit because it is just familiar. 

Which is your reason for not changing?

Definition of a Habit

Simply a habit by definition is an attitude, behavior, emotion, thought, or substance you repeat over and over again until you do it without thinking, automatically. Habits are the result of something done over and over. The more often an action is repeated, the stronger the habit will become. 

Almost everything you do is repeated many times over; you're a creatures of habit. Forming a new habit takes time. Research has proved that it takes 30 to 90 days. 

Yet a newly form habit can firmly fixed itself in your subconscious mind in as little as seven days. 

Just as habits are formed by repeating certain actions over and over, unwanted habits can be broken by not doing a certain thing over a period of time. Sounds simple, but may not be so easy at first. It calls for patience, hard work, and may be a little anguish.

To change any habit you first have to be willing and ready to make the change and let go of the old unwanted one even in fear. Change an old unwanted habit by replacing it with a new positive habit. Forming a new habit takes time. Research has proved that it takes 30 to 90 days. A newly formed habit is firmly fixed in your subconscious mind in as little as seven days. 

7 Tips

Here are 7 tips that can guide you into changing an unwanted old habit to a new positive habit. Be sure to complete all steps in order to achieve a new habit.

      1. Mentally go through all your habits and pick the habit 
          you would like to change.

      2. Determine what your attitude has been toward the 
          old habit you intend to change. Then answer - why 
          your attitude has been so comfortable? Even though 
          in reality it has probably been uncomfortable or painful, 
          if not possibly toxic.

      3. Create and focus on the habit you would like to form.

      4. Visualize the habit you want becoming a comfortable 
          one – if you can envision yourself doing the habit 
          and it becomes comfortable in your mind, then adapting
          to it will be much easier. Do not allow yourself to feel 
          overwhelmed. Keep your sight set on completing 
          your vision.

      5. Consistency is most important - make a contract with 
          yourself (or an accountability partner) to practice that
          intended habit every day for 5 minutes – create a daily
          schedule for the next 60 to 90 days.

      6. Set up a support system.

      7. Reward yourself at the end of each week for 
          succeeding, then at the conclusion of the first 
          30 days and finally at the conclusion of your 90 days.

Success in positive habit formation comes when you can remain focused, consistent and determined.

After Thoughts

To form a positive habit - practice, practice and then practice some more. Success in positive habit formation comes when you can remain focused, consistent and determined.

                      View the Original Full Article 


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Why is Accountability So Important

There are many differences between life coaching and therapy. One of those differences is the issue of accountability. In life coaching the client is believed to have the answers to his or her problems are within them and not in the knowledge of the therapist.  A good life coach is effective by asking good questions which helps the client come up with his or her right answers.

A way to achieve accountability is through customized writing assignments that the client is responsible for. The client must follow through and complete assignments before next appointment.

As a Life Coach I work very hard to fit specific questions to my clients. If my questions are not good then the client will not come up with his or her right answers and the forward process will stall. In order to be on the same page as my clients, I sometimes have to give them an assignment to define a word. Defining words is important because everyone’s definitions varies in one form or another. So to help him or her progress, I feel I need to work off my client’s definition and not my definition.

Clients come up with some of his or her own great definitions with accurate perception. Here is an example of a great definition done on a word by one of my clients on a very important concept. I think this word we fight with and affects all of us in our daily lives. That word is accountability.

So what is accountability? Good question. I found this particular definition to be interesting with the way it was expressed and I hope will enlighten many more people.

The exact question to the client was:

“What does it mean to be accountable?”

The client answered the question simply in her own way.

“Accountability to me is living up to a standard moral code that’s ingrained in my subconscious mind from nature not nurture. It is the acknowledgement and assumption of responsibility for my actions. Accountability is a system of integrity that suppresses impulsiveness. It means that I am liable for my own destiny and culpable for the wrong decisions. Accountability and responsibility are guidelines for progress as I evolve spiritually, morally and mentally. It is doing what is right no matter how unfamiliar or hard it is to do.”

Want to be more accountable to yourself? Visit my website and take the 30 Day Life Changing Challenge

Thursday, July 10, 2014

4 Tips to Help You Shift a Negative Mindset

Mindset is a concept that is talked a lot about in the helping profession lately. Funny thing about mindset is that everyone has one. In fact everyone has many mindsets and trade back and forth throughout the day.

What is a Mindset?

Simply a mindset is a fixed mental attitude. Mindsets come in all sorts of types and styles. A mindset can be fluid, or rigid. A mindset can be comfortable belief or an uncomfortable mental habit. It can be positive or judgmental of yourself or others.

Mindset can be a barrier

Hanging onto old mindsets can create many physical and mental problems, such as anxiety, blame, bitterness, fear, negativity, physical pain, resentments, stress, shame, sleeplessness and worry. Old mindsets can keep you boxed into old prejudice attitudes and thoughts.

Triggers affect your Mindset

Old mindsets can be triggered by situations. They can also be activated by the actions, comments or beliefs of others.  Over time a mindset results in poor physical health as well as a decrease in our mental and emotional health and performance. A mindset simply is a deep seated attitude based on old perceptions, beliefs or prejudices that were told, taught or forced on us. One thing clear is that a mindset is generally another person's expectations or bias. Growing up in my generation, it was taught to take others mindsets, such as parents, teachers, coaches, policemen, etc., with blind faith. Never to ask questions. Functioning in life under another person's mindset does not work and causes deep feelings of unhappiness, disappointment and a feeling of being trapped. 

4 Tips to Help You Shift an Old Mindset to Positive

1. Stop ruminating by literally stopping what you are doing and take 4 deep breaths. During those 4 breathes, focus on the air coming in to your lungs and then being released. 

2. Reclaim your personal authority by forming a new positive mindset to replace the negative attitude and replace it with a positive mindset. 

3. Create a new belief to support and validate your newly formed mindset. 

4. Conscious take ownership of the new mindset by making a promise to accept it. 

After Thoughts

You can break away from old destructive mindsets successfully. You have the power. Start today and forge your own path. You can get what you want if you follow the 4 steps above. 


For more suggestions and information go to Make a Positive Change website. Start today to change your life from the inside out.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Be with Your Thoughts or Electrocute Yourself, which would you pick?

A recent research study found that “we'd rather electrocute ourselves than be alone with our thoughts”.

OMG, I have been writing for years about changing your life through journaling, mediation (Me Time) or just deep breathing for only 5 to 10 minutes with yourself a day, without any external distracted or stimulation.   I require that each client spend time with themselves without a book, computer, phone, television, tablet or radio. I asked that they have nothing to stare at or take away their focus on during that time. The objective was to improve their relationship with themselves, reduce stress and improve brain function.

I cannot tell you how many of my clients cannot or had difficulty completing this simple task. Even though spending just 5 minutes a day with themselves has been proven to improve their life and health (mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually) as well as release stresses they were holding onto, people can’t seem to complete even a few minutes. The excuses I hear from my clients are “Oh I forgot”, “I am too busy, but I meant to”, “I tried, but just I couldn't focus”, I couldn't find any time”, or “I get too anxious”.

With those clients that have a history of being bullied, harassed, abused or traumatized when asked if they did their 5 minutes I am told “I didn't like the thoughts that went through my head”, “I could not stop my thoughts long enough to focus just on my breathing as you asked me to do. It felt wrong”, “While I was doing it a negative thought jump into my head and I could not get rid of it once I stopped meditating” and “Truthfully I can’t stand to be with me. I do not think I deserve it”.

The overall underlying messages I get from my clients are basically that being with their own thoughts or being in their own skin is uncomfortable. Above all alone or quiet time should be avoided at all cost. When alone most of them have either a TV running somewhere in the house or music playing to fill their head with distraction.

The fundamental human question is have we lost the ability to be alone with our own thoughts?

Proof is in the Study

I found an article in the Washington Post about a study done by Timothy Wilson, a psychologist at the University of Virginia and lead author of the study. This article reported on a study about being alone with your thoughts vs getting electrocuted, yes you read correctly, electrocuted.  The study was simple, all the participants had to do was enter an empty room, sit down, and think for six to 15 minutes. The only requirement was that the participants had to be in the room without a cellphone, a book, or a television screen to stare at. The reporter from the Washington Post quoted Dr. Wilson as saying “The assignment quickly became too much for the participants to handle. In fact, even when the individuals were given time to "prepare" for their time alone — meaning that they were able to plan what they would think about during their moments of solitude — the participants still found the task hard to complete.” “People didn't like it much being alone with themselves and their thoughts."

So the researchers decided to make the study a little harder. Each participant was given an option of doing something else while in the room alone, besides just thinking. What the researchers came up with wasn't exactly pleasant. Instead of just sitting sit and alone, participants were now allowed to electrocute themselves as many times as they liked with a device containing a 9 volt battery. Still, for many, such an option wouldn't seem desirable.

But the study found that most participants decided they would rather shock themselves on an average of seven times during their time in the room and sit in solitude and think. An interesting facet in this study was that one male participant in the study “shocked himself 190 times over a period of 15 minutes” just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts. 

My Take on the Study 

When reading this article and study I discovered that participants, both men and women would rather spend their time stimulated by outside stimuli, even if it was an electrical shock from 9 volt battery, than to spend quiet time with only their thoughts. Why is that? I believe that most people, when forced to sit without external stimulation, have thoughts that they cannot accept. We as a society have been constantly inundated with outside stimulation, good and bad, for so long that we don’t understand how to just be quiet with our thoughts. Gone are the days of sitting on the front porch just being.

Other Reasons

      1. Time

More and more people do not have the time to complete even the simplest tasks in a day. You have to clean the house, care for kids, interact with friends and family, prepare meals, work, etc…. Being busy and fulfilling others expectation has become the standard in most people’s lives. Everyone races from one task to another without a thought or hesitation. No wonder stress and stress related illnesses are so rampant and the number one focus is on performance and not being with self. Life has become a moving grindstone that you can’t stop.

2. Stimulation

Our society is becoming addicted to being stimulated all of the time. Many people would rather be stimulated by drugs, alcohol, and all electronic devices and let’s not forget social media rather than being with themselves. 


This study supports what I been saying in my articles for many years about thought addiction and the inner critic. More people than we thought have difficulty with the thoughts that run through their heads. Let’s just simply get back to basics and improve the relationship with our thoughts, basically ourselves. With practice the act of spending time with ourselves will becomes easier and more enjoyable. Make more time in your schedule for you.

(The study was conducted by Timothy Wilson was published in Science Magazine, 2014)

Contest to WIN a FREE 30 Day Life Changing Challenge

Do you want more out of your life but feel you are you stuck?     
Can’t seem to reach your goals?   
Tired of going nowhere?

Making a Positive Change 30 Day Challenge is giving you a chance to win a FREE 30 Day Challenge to make the positive changes in your life that you have always wanted. Find out once and for all what is blocking you from getting to the finish line!
There are several ways to win, you can either write a few sentences explaining why you want to make a positive change in your life, you can upload a photo of something positive in your life or upload a two-minute video explaining why you want Challenge yourself and change your life today.
Here’s how it works:
1) Submit your essay, photo or a two-minute video by posting it to www.facebook.com/MakingAPositiveChange. Ask your friends to Like US and like your post on our page. If your post gets the most votes, you will win the Making a Positive Change 30 Day Challenge. ($89.00 value)
2) Upload your photo or video on www.facebook.com/MakingAPositiveChange .
3) Like the Making A Positive Change Facebook page.
4) Share your video/ photo through Facebook and invite your friends to vote.

The video with the most votes will win grand prize and will receive a FREE 30 Day Challenge. ($89.00 value)
Take ownership of yourself and your life by entering this contest and start your positive change TODAY!
Get all your family and friends to Like US and VOTE for you to win.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Launched My Podcast on iTunes - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

On June 20th 2014, I launched my Podcast - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

Today I would like to announce that I have not forgotten all my friends who have Apple Products.
My podcast Quieting the Noise in your Mind is now on iTunes.

Download each episode and listen to them on your iPod, iPad and other Apple devices. Take me along with you wherever you go and listen anywhere.

Subscribe to iTunes today.

Then type in Dr Bill Tollefson in the iStore or the title - Quieting the Noise in your Mind and then download the episode you would like to listen to.

Go ahead and educate your mind.

There are 8 episodes right now and more to come. All episodes are free.

Stay in touch and look for more. If you have any suggestion for topics for future episodes then please send me a message, SMS or email. Find me on Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/DrBillLifeCoach?ref=hl  
or my websites  

Monday, May 19, 2014

Selected for a Business Award

Great News!!!! 

I just found out today that Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching won a business award for 2014.  

My business - Tollefson Enterprises - has been working very hard for the past 5 years to offer the best life coaching services possible. This award is recognition that our efforts, dedication and hard work has been going in the right direction.

Here is part of the Press Release

“Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching Services has been selected for the 2014 Best of Cape Coral Award in the Business Services category by the Cape Coral Award Program.

Each year, the Cape Coral Award Program identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and our community. These exceptional companies help make the Cape Coral area a great place to live, work and play.

Various sources of information were gathered and analyzed to choose the winners in each category. The 2014 Cape Coral Award Program focuses on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the Cape Coral Award Program and data provided by third parties.”

I couldn't be happier and more proud of what has been accomplished.

We at Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching Services will continue to offer quality service to our Life Coaching services to our customers.

Dr. Bill


Friday, May 16, 2014

4 Tips on Finding Inner Peace

Recharge Your Mind

Do you feel that your life is a constant treadmill? Is your mind and life filled with worry and stress? Are you overwhelmed because there is always something happening that robs your focus, interrupts your plans and steals your peace and energy? Sometimes, don’t you want it all to stop?

Growing up in the 60s, I always had time to complete household tasks, like cutting grass, over a weekend ... but also I had plenty of time to wash and wax my car as well as relax and have fun. No more. Now with everything that seems to be required by family, community, job and society and with the advances of technology, I feel drained with never enough time. In my mind, all I hear is “You are a failure. You didn’t finish.”

This mantra becomes endless and overwhelming. Where does the time go? Why don't I have time for me? Finding time is like attempting to find a needle in a hay stack. Boy ... that saying dates me.
Seriously, acquiring a skill or method to recharge your brain is necessary to mental, emotional and physical health. Everyone knows that recharging your mind is essential to increasing creative activity, mental focus and spiritual enhancement.

Sometimes unknowingly, you want what you don’t know you need. For the most part, you are unaware of building stress due to hectic pace of your life. Stress and mental chatter slowly increase, and then it hits. You do not recognize it and do not know how to get rid of the icky feeling. Please understand that stress makes you react irrationally and you become tense, constricted or revved up. In a revved up state, you may eat too much, forget appointments, drive erratically or get angry with others.  Many turn to food, drugs or other non-self-serving activities in an attempt to counteract the mental drain, emotional upheaval and confusion.
You are left with "What do I do?" and "Where do I go?"

Three Factors in Gaining Inner Peace

Factor One - Commitment

First of all, you have to be willing to make a commitment to yourself by affirming out loud “I am worth time every day for me.” This verbal declaration is a commitment ... a promise to yourself. If you make a promise to yourself, it is more likely that you will follow through. A self-promise is the hardest promise to break. When you break a self-promise, you know you are breaking it.

Factor Two - Consistency

Secondly, you have to create a daily schedule and mark a specific periods for Me Time in that schedule. Consistency is the key. For Me Time to successfully recharge, you should be certain to honor the commitment every day for the first 90 days. Once the first 90 are completed, you can move into a maintenance level of 4 to 5 days a week. Any less, and you will not get the results you are looking for.

Factor Three - Discipline

The last factor is willingness to form a discipline. Discipline is the act of forming a pattern over time with practice that produces mental improvement, comfort and overall well-being. With practice, you can train your mind to respond on what matters in the moment.

Me Time

I know that you can relate to recharging you batteries on your phone, your tablet, or laptop, etc. in order for it to function. Also, to improve the performance of your devices, you have to periodically turn your devices off completely for a while. The same is true for your mind. You cannot run on maximum power 24/7 and expect to function at peak performance.  The wear and tear on your mind is enormous. Recharging is vital to overall well-being, and with recharging your batteries, you will be more energized, focused and tranquil.
If you have a lot of chatter in your mind or you experience thought looping, a period of any kind of quiet time will help you attain some level of inner peace and comfort.

If you desire a greater degree of inner peace, then try a little Me Time.  Me Time is a mindful method that can rejuvenate your mind. Me Time or communing with yourself is a free style form of meditation and a great method of recharging your brain. To recharge your batteries, you have to achieve mental quiet and reduce the vibration activity in your mind.  Your question is probably “how do you do that?”

How to Recharge

I would like to share with you the process of Me Time to recharge mind. Dedicate 5 to 10 minutes a day to Me Time. Find a comfortable place, shut off all devices, sit back, close your eyes and with your imagination place a dot on the inside of your forehead. Focus intensely on that dot. As you breathe in, make the dot increase in brightness. Then as you breathe out, let it decrease in brightness. Within 5 to 10 minutes, your mind will be recharged. You will be surprised what a mere 5 to 10 minutes of quieting the mind can do to turn things around for you and improve your day.

4 Tips on Recharging Your Mind


Find a quiet place ... close your eyes and just focus on your breathing. Focus on breathing in and then out. Breathing can be done either completely unconsciously or completely consciously. Breathing engages two distinct sets of muscles and nerves, depending on whether you use involuntary nerves and muscles or the voluntary. With focused breathing for 5 to 10 minutes a day, you will find that the breath has the unique characteristic of not only recharging your mind but also your body.

Go Outside

Make a point of going outside and enjoy nature. Talk a walk, go to a park or go to the beach. Observing nature can recharge you spiritual batteries. Just sitting and observing your natural environment brings stillness and nurtures you. So go outside for a little while and attune to the rhythm and vibration of the great outdoors.

The Power of Laughing and Smiling

Laughing and smiling, will also recharge your batteries. A full-out belly laugh or even a simple smile can make such a difference in not just you, but it can also lighten up your environment. Both change the chemical level in your mind and makes you feel better overall. They reduce stress and prevent negativity from entering your consciousness.

After Thoughts

I am positive one of these methods in this article will help you recharge your mind, settle your emotions, comfort your body and brighten your spirit.

 Take action…

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