Friday, November 27, 2015

6 Tips on Making Healthy Connections

Humans innately need to be connected to self, others and community. Humans invest increasing amounts time and effort in forming and maintaining connections. Sometimes we look at the amount of connections we have as a sign of who we are. More and more connections define our identity, happiness, fulfillment and status.

Without connection in our lives with feel a sense of loss and emptiness. Feelings of strong fear, loss and solitude over take us. We have an innate desire to be connected to others, to family and to community thinking it will enhance our confidence, well being and balance. Yet when our connection to self, family, community or society vanishes a strong sense emptiness sets in.  Without connection our self-confidence dwindles, fears increase, negative thoughts surge and anxiety surfaces which leads to serious self-worth issues. Once we become conscious of the emptiness emerges, a strong powerful need to seek a replacement for our lost connections erupts, no matter what it is.

At that point, we will attach to anything, good or bad, human or non-human, to fill that empty space. A bad connection is better than not having a connection at all. Research has shown that the majority of people don't like to be will ourselves, alone. One of the things that is commonly sought to fill emptiness is an attachment or connection to a substance or inappropriate relationships. We seek other replacements such as a behaviors, emotions, objects or thoughts.

The Result of Emptiness

An initial outgrowth when emptiness is felt  is disconnection anxiety. Disconnection anxiety is a term used to describe intense painful feelings due to a lack of connect with self, with family, community or being a value to society. The more losses we experience the more disconnection anxiety becomes increasingly prevalent. There are specific issues that also arise besides anxiety such as:

+ Tension                                                         + Fears

+ Confusion                                                     + Feeling less than

+ Surfacing of negative beliefs                        + Loss of feelings of worth 

+ Feeling of a loss of freedom                         + Feeling a loss of uniqueness

+ Feelings of discomfort                                  + Feeling disconnected from everyone 
                                                                             and everything

6 Tips that Tell You, You are Disconnected

If you suspect you may be experiencing an unhealthy level of anxiety or a low sense of self-worth associated with loss of connection then consider the following criteria to determine if you might be vulnerable to form an unhealthy or inappropriate connection.

1. Significance 

How significant is your need to be connected to something to have a sense of self-worth? Does you need to fill an emptiness due to a need for external validation? Do you gauge “self-importance” by how many connections you have someone or something even if the connection is harmful? Is the connection you turned to stopping you from doing other things that are healthy? Maybe your priorities have become skewed. Be sure to check where your self-worth is coming from. Self-worth should come from inside yourself, not outside from others.

2. Reward Response

Does being connected to someone or something make you feel better or more in control? Does not being “a part of” make you feel worse? Be aware that you can sense a positive “payoff” even if you are excessively connected to something unhealthily. Do you connect to anything just to feel in control even if you are not? Impulsive connections just to get a reward rush can obscure the activity negative consequences.

3. Can't Let Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Do you find yourself interacting with unhealthy connections just to feel connected? If you feel compelled to always say “I just can't stop,” carving out more and more space in your life for spending more time in a unhealthy connection. The major question becomes, are you spending more time forming an unhealthy relationships? What other important, healthy, fulfilling or meaningful connections are you excluding or diminishing? Check to see if you are lying to yourself about being in an unhealthy relationship more than not.

4. Abstaining 
Do you feel anxious, afraid or excessively worried if you cannot participate in your unhealthy connection or even the thought of not doing it? One way to gauge how important your unhealthy connection is or the degree of toxicity it holds is when you consider doing without it. The higher the level of denial, fear, anxiety or pain you anticipate, the stronger the hold the unhealthy connection has over you and the more you feel a loss of control. The more you stay in denial the more your unhealthy connection becomes.

5. Distraction 

Has the excessive focus and involvement with your unhealthy connection disrupted your life and relationships, causing interpersonal or personal conflicts over your unhealthy relationships?

6. Reverting 

Do you often say to yourself “I am determined to invest less of my time in my unhealthy connection” only to turn around, defend it, and then spend more time in it? This is an indication that the unhealthy connection is gaining more power over your time and focus. Your attempt to fill your emptiness may have become toxic. A toxic connection can cause real damage to your self-worth, relationships, and career as well as your physical, emotional and mental health.

1 Major Tip for Change

The solution of avoiding the possibility of seeking a behavior, emotion, object, substance or thought to fill the emptiness is to make sure you have solid connection to yourself. If you solidify your connection with yourself it will reduce the possibility of filling that hole with someone or something that could turn out to be very toxic in the long run. 

After Thoughts

Try working on identifying all your connections you value and rebuffing losses which have made you feel empty, feel less than, or not good enough in order to counter the effects of situations of loss. Ultimately, you have the power and control to determine what connections are good and healthy for you, and which are just and impulse to plug a feeling of being disconnected or empty. You have the ability to build a community of supportive connections that will add joy, happiness and positive content in the long-term. Being connected to yourself and with others is what allows you to feel valued and fulfilled.

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Thursday, November 12, 2015

26 Quotes to Help You Make a Positive Change

Making a positive change inside yourself is the key to manifesting a positive and fulfilling life outside. It is your personal power through knowledge and understanding that shifts your mindset toward a positive self and aids you at achieving what you want out of life. Research has shown that new learning, processing and forming new knowledge keeps your brain young.  

Here are some quotes that will strengthen your knowledge and understanding in making a positive change in you and allows you to manifest a new you. If you believe in positiveness of yourself, you no longer need outside validation to feel fulfilled. 

“Change comes from being the bishop and architect of your         mind.”

“Inconsistent efforts produces inconsistent results. Positive           efforts produce positive results.”

“Life changing experiences come from strengthening your           connection with yourself.”

“A positive and healthy mind assures a healthy Soul.” 

“Whatever you carry inside yourself is manifested on the             outside yourself. Be sure you are carrying positiveness”

“To attain a positive life, make sure your mind, heart and             intuition are internally connected.” 

“Can’t live a positive life with a negative mindset.”

“Change is not possible for someone who is content with pain.”

“Acceptance of self is the main ingredient to a positive life.”

“A positive effect on how you feel and think is directly                   correlated to the beliefs you have about yourself.”

“An intuitive life is when you do not entertain negative around     you.”  

“Awareness and knowledge of yourself is the source of                   empowerment”

“Yesterday was a lesson, today is real and tomorrow may not       turn out the way you predict. Live in the moment.”

“Happiness without recognition is a loss of a good experience gone unrecognized.”

“The key to personal success is the acquisition and mastery of     positive skills.”

“Positiveness in yourself will flourish if feed it daily.”

“Believe in yourself completely, and take nothing negative from   others. If negative is presented then just walk away with             pride!”

“Feeling your emotions fully without judgment is a positive         personal strength and skill.”

“Negative thoughts clouds your ability to view yourself with         positiveness and compassion.” 
“Don’t suppress a negative inner voice, rather change its               perspective of you.”

“A master teaches, enlightens and empowers from experience.     Be your own master.”

“Can’t be everything to everybody, but you can be all you need   to yourself.”

“Making a positive change is not finding the part of you, you       think you lost. Making a positive change is about creating a       new you.”

“Empowerment is not finding the parts of you thought you lost,   rather embracing yourself in the moment you found and             reconnected with all of you.”

“I can’t change the day but I can certainly change this                   moment.”

“Being positive, connected and compassionate to yourself is the   ultimate expression of love.”


About the Author:  

Dr. William Tollefson, Ph.D. is a Certified Master Life, Post-Trauma and Holistic Addiction Recovery Coach who teaches others to accomplish whatever him or her want to do and inspire to complete it. 

He has authored of 2 books entitled: Separated From the Light (A Path Back from Psychological Trauma) and his newest Personal Philosophy. Dr. Bill has numerous articles on a variety of topics from making a positive change to healing survivors of childhood and/or adulthood abuse and trauma, which can be found here on the HubPages.  Additionally, he is on YouTube, Pinterest  and two blogs: Trauma, DID, and Addiction  and for Life Coaching.   
Please visit his website and accept his gift of his eBook Personal Philosophy. 

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

5 Tips on Mastering Your Mind

Are you just existing and not enjoying life? Are you only managing your issues and problems? The mistake about managing your issues problem is it doesn’t always go or workout the way you want. Sometimes or most of the time, you are not really aware of the barriers that are blocking you. 

There is a possibility that you are conscious of being inundated by negative beliefs or thoughts. You do not have to live being overwhelmed by negative beliefs or thoughts. There is a way to create a positive pattern of beliefs which result in more encouraging thoughts.

Negative beliefs about yourself formed over time and obsessing on negative thoughts are not helpful, but then you knew that already, didn’t you? In fact, you probably know that your negative beliefs are stopping you from getting what you want. Attempting to ignore negative beliefs or shut them down is counter intuitive. The more you resist a self-limiting or negative belief, actually gives them more power. The more you remind yourself to stop the over thinking or obsessing about them, the more they will be in the forefront of your consciousness. Feelings of anxiety and disappointment will follow because you have failed to stop them. You can’t mentally power your way out of a negative belief or negative thought, because they are a manifestation of a deeper belief. It doesn’t work that way. It will only make it worse.

If you are still reading, then you are wondering what you can do about it. I would like to suggest some tips you could use to calm those beliefs and thoughts.

5 Tips on How to Master Your Mind

1. Focused Interference

Set up a go-to acceptable thought to interfere with the negative belief or thought which will diminish the power of a negative beliefs. Having an alternative good thought to focus on is better than letting your mind wander freely. Why? Because aimless mind wandering is directly associated with weakness. Allowing your mind wander unencumbered is fruitless task. It is better to concentrate on an idea, a song, a book passage, a quote or a specific task. Have something prepared gives you a sense of power. Make a plan to immediately shift when negative beliefs or thoughts pop up.

2. Schedule to Obsess Later

Self-defeating beliefs or negative thoughts are not like an unwanted visitor who comes to your house and you don’t answer the door. They can’t be ignored. Research suggests stopping self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be done by mentally setting up a “designated time period” to obsess. Chose a time later during the day to entertain them. Postponing your obsessing over self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be very productive and less intrusive during your day.

3. Face Your Negative Beliefs and Self-defeating Thoughts 
    Straight On

This tip is not for the faint of heart. Face and deal with each self-limiting belief and negative thought. Determine if each is real or if they are an illusion. Research suggests that this process can starve off their power. These shadowy thoughts rarely survive the light of direct examination.

4. Be Mindful

Center your mind in the moment by focusing on your breathing or heartbeat for 4 minutes or more. This will promote mindfulness, compassion, and non-judgment towards the unwanted beliefs or thoughts streaming through your consciousness. Being mindful helps to reduce the influence your unwanted thinking patterns have on you than they have over you.

5. Write It Down

Writing a curative and revealing method of change. Writing them down helps you to get those nagging unwanted negative beliefs and self-defeating thoughts out of your mind and down on paper. This method will quell the repetitive anxieties, fears and worries of what might happen in the future which often accompanies unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts. After you write them down then speak them out loud to yourself. Actually hearing out loud your unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts about yourself really reduces their power. In fact, you will come to realize the falsehood or lack of logic they possess. Once you find out that they are false the more quickly you will stop holding on to them.

Take Away

You are not powerless. You have the ability to defeat to these self-limiting thoughts by changing your negative beliefs. These tips will allow you to gather up your personal authority and power while cluttering your mind. You will, therefore, be able to command and create a positive mental environment you have always wanted. Believe in your ability, your skills and believe in yourself. Follow the tips and find the one that works best for you. Maybe you will find out that each tip works for you under different situations. This will allow you to be proactive, positive and your true beliefs about yourself. Create new beliefs about yourself, embrace them and manifest them in your life. This will add support and strength as well as bring a new balance to your life. 


Sunday, September 13, 2015

4 Tips on Clearing Resentments

Many people have been scared emotionally and developed dis-trustfulness toward others. We all have been bullied, harassed, intimidated, and teased or overtly by physical harmed. Prejudice and meanness toward another is prevalent throughout our society and reoccur through all age groups.

It is a normal course over time feel cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt or wronged in a relationship gone wrong. Wanting some type of repayment, get even or revenge is also normal. This process is called resentment.

So let get real about relationships. Are you having relationship difficulties? Do you have difficulty trusting people you are in a relationship with? Do you find yourself unable to emotionally invest in your relationships but you don't know why. There is a possibility that the reason maybe that you have been holding onto resentments from past hurtful relationships for years or maybe even from your childhood that directly impact your ability to invest into relationships.

How resentments affect relationships

What is a resentment? 

We all have gone through situations in our lives where we had been taken advantage of, felt cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt, or wronged in some way. One of the most damaging feelings we carry that block our growth and success is resentments. As a human being we hold ill feelings toward other who we felt wronged us even against ourselves. For the most part we are not even aware of the baggage that we carry from our past events. 

The definition of a resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or ill thoughts, even an ill wish that are formed from an experienced where we felt wronged. We carry these wrongs subconsciously as a result of life events that are real or imagined. These wrongs are formed as a reaction to a life experience where we have perceived to have wronged someone or self and/or think someone has wronged us in one way or another. 

A resentment can cause many intense, reactive emotions such as anger, depression, disappointment, fear, hostility, panic, rage or regret which festers in the subconscious without conscious awareness for which we are not mindful of in the moment. Resentments have a very strong influence on how we relate to ourselves; how we think about others and most of all our behavior. These ill feelings affect the way we allow ourselves to perform in life. Thoughts such as: “I do not deserve anything because of what I have done” or “I am nothing because what was done to me.” This type of thinking eventually becomes a subconscious barrier to our accepting good things and success in our life. 

How do we get them?

You get them in experience you have everyday situations. Resentment form from an unusual high emotional attachment and involvement with another person and situation.  Situations such as relationship breakups, criticism, infidelity, disconnectedness, deep disappointment with another, divorce, embarrassment, and unrequited love……

Why are resentments so important to how we function in relationships?

Resentment can harm you. Resentment can cause you to disconnect from yourself and turn into self-hate. Resentment takes so much energy subconsciously to hold onto that it depletes your personal energy. On all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Resentment can cause you to not trust others and even yourself. They can cause you to form negative core beliefs and self-limiting thoughts that turn into self-sabotaging behavior.

4 Tips on Removing Resentments 

1. Recognize all the wrongs you remember done to you or you feel you have done to yourself and           make a list of them.

2. Identify which are the most important or might have greatest impact on you. Rank them in order         from most hurtful to least.

3. Evaluate each one to whether they are real or imagined. Over           time, much of what you remember diluted in content but fester         in emotional intensity.

4. Lastly get honest and ask yourself:

a) What do you perceive is the benefit for to hanging onto each 
     one of your resentments?

b) What do you want to happen, outcome that you want to before          you are willing to let go?

c) What realistically can you do today about each one?

d) Do you accept yourself, and can you forgive (stop holding onto        it) yourself and then release (don’t live in the past) old wrongs.

1 Quick Way to Remove Resentments from being a Barrier

Resentments are subconscious baggage that keeps you down without your permission.  Resentments are very pervasive and troubling to you. Resentment require a tremendous amount of energy to remain alive.

To make a positive change in your life you have to 1) recognize the baggage that is weighing you down unknowing and 2) that is consuming all your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual energy. You counter it by opening and searching your mind, identifying all your old hurts (major and minor) and putting them in real time but writing them down on paper. 

Take Away

What could be hurting you the most could be beliefs that you have formed about relationships over time that determine how you function in your relationships? You could be unaware of issues like loyalty, trust, and connectedness could be more important than you realize. 

I am willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you already have a strong suspicion that you are carrying old unresolved wrongs about relationships. If you said “yes” so much of was stated above is true for you, so you need to begin to free yourself for all your old resentment baggage in order for you to have successful relationships. 

So take ownership of yourself by investing in who you are at this moment. Learn about your beliefs you carry about relationships. Remember you can't be affected by something that you are not holding onto.  So start to make a positive change by discovery more about your beliefs and resentments you hold onto about relationships.  

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Friday, August 7, 2015

11 Tips on How to Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Battling negative thoughts, attempting to forget they even exist is very hard. Trying to shift your negative thoughts to positive thoughts is even harder. When you are not able you feels so defeated and powerless. Seems as though your negative thoughts are constantly consuming our thinking time and the amount of time is increasing. It is becoming increasingly important to know how to hack into your mind and powerful to change your negative thoughts, but also how to consistency manage them over time. 

5 Quick Management Tips to manage negative thoughts patterns and help your mindfulness:

1. Get out in nature. The sunshine and fresh air can help you to feel better and to change your perspective. Simply getting up and moving can help to boost your mood and produce positive thoughts.

2. If you are spiritual or religious, use prayer or talking to your higher power.

3. Use creative art, journaling, exercise, expressive writing, and dance.

4. Listen to music that inspires you.

5. Memorize quotes to defuse thoughts patterns.

6. Eat a healthy and mindfully.

7. Count backwards from 100 in increments of 4.

These management ideas will enhance your refocusing skills and help you to master the thoughts that stream in your mind.

Longer Term Management Ideas

Tune into positive thoughts daily.  

Avoid trying to immediately fight off or ignore a negative thought. Rather form a new one positive thought to replace it and focus on that new one by repeating the new thought often.

Be mindful of your general physical and mental health 

When you are not feeling well physically mentally or spiritually, the amount of negative thinking you have could increase. Therefore, it is crucial to take care of yourself especially during difficult times.

Eat a well-balanced diet filled with fruits, vegetables, protein, and vitamins. 

Limit your drinking alcohol consumption. Don't over use non-prescribed prescription medication, or engaging in other forms of substance use.

Exercise consistently, at least 3 to 4 times a week. Exercise is a great way to increase positive emotions, increase physical strength and distract yourself from negative thinking. Consider involving yourself in alternative forms of working-out like: hiking, rock-climbing, dancing, aerobics, martial arts and yoga.

Educate, Increase Knowledge and Support 

Reading inspiring articles is a great start. Reading experiences of others with his/her experiences with negative thoughts and how they change them from bad to good can give you hope that change is possible. Search the Internet with phases such as "positivity," "positive phrases," “how to forget negative thoughts” etc. There are many positive people out there that wish to help others to evict negative thought patterns. There is support groups on the internet to help you increase your skill with changing negative thought patterns.

Seek Help 

If negative thoughts are causing you to have extreme emotional swings, or to engage in risky or harmful behaviors. Coaching, therapy or other forms treatment may help. Contact a counselor, psychologist or life coach. There are several treatment techniques specifically help people alter their negative thinking. No one technique helps everyone. Find on that helps you.   

If ruminating on negative thoughts overwhelms you, might explore medication options for a short time. Consult a psychiatrist for additional information or to discuss options.

5 More Tips

1. Positive thought patterns are contagious. Stop surrounding yourself with negative thinking people. Rather surround yourself with people who make you happy and are optimistic.

2. Monitor your thoughts in the moment and analyze appropriateness of each thought. Be aware that your mind is often only tricking you to believe something negative, when that isn't true.

3. Start changing your negative thoughts one at a time. Don’t over expect that you can change all your negative thinking patterns all at once. Be realistic. It is much easier to change negativity to positivity incrementally. Attempting to change all really bad thoughts to a really good thoughts quickly is impossible. 

4. Don't push yourself to think positive. Don't try to be perfect. Even the smallest mistake can throw you into more negative thoughts.

5. Be your own support. Accept that negative thoughts are part of the contrast in life and keep in mind that if you don't know what you don't like; you will also not know what you do like. You can choose your thoughts but don't be discouraged if you fall back now and then. Try instead to muster a smile and find the humor in the fact that your mind can be very stubborn at times. Be nice to yourself.


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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

5 Tips on Cleansing Your Inner Voice

Your brain is a miraculous organ. It can be a powerful benefit or crushing adversary. One tool that your brain has that helps you to communicate with yourself is your inner voice. 
Sometimes that voice in your head attempts to rule your life and suggests it knows best. Your inner voice can take on many forms. Your inner voice can be either supportive or critical depending on how good your relationship with self is or much self-love you have for you. 

Inner Voice Turned Negative (Gone Rogue) 

If the inner self voice takes on the form of inner critic, the content of its messages becomes doubtful, judgmental, negative, depressing, self-defeating, self-limiting or second guessing. The content of the inner critic originates from one's mind code. Then the negative self-talk can produce negative thought or sets of thoughts that get caught in a constant loop. Constant thought looping, or otherwise known as ruminating, can result in a thought addiction

Definition of Rumination

Rumination is defined as passively focusing the mind’s attention on a negative belief causing an associated emotional state to surface like depression, and over negatively thinking about the causes, meanings, possible results or consequences of the content or beliefs of the mind. People who ruminate are ineffective in taking action, slow in problem-solving, and hesitate at decision making. Rumination causes fixed, inflexible, and negative thinking.


Recent research studying individuals with a lifetime of mood disorders found that rumination is one of the strongest correlations to the onset of depression. Rumination or thought looping makes relapse into depression easier. Research data revealed that formation of ruminating thoughts are cognitive features associated with a vulnerability to developing, maintaining, and relapsing into a depressive disorder

So, the more a person ponders on a negative thought or cluster of thoughts over and over again, the harder it is to release that thought … and it can have devastating results on his or her life. Ruminating can be categorized by negative, rigid beliefs a person has formed about themselves, their self-worth, and confidence. Typically, these beliefs involve conditional standards in areas of self-evaluation, perfectionism, and approval of others.

A side effect of ruminating is the creation of dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions of you and the world outside of you. Dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions are a direct reflection of the content of the mind (i.e., what you think or feel about you). Rumination is associated with the processes of the mind, that is, how you relate to the content streaming through the mind.

Quiet your inner voice through enforcing new rules

One way to quiet your mind is by daily cleaning out the clutter in your mind and choosing to not feed your inner voice content. Choose to not give that inner voice content value.

Don’t allow junk into your mind. Be mindful of what you allow inside your mind. Monitor your own words, thoughts and attention. 

Don't give inappropriate content power and influence over your mind. 

Don't give your inner voice energy. 

Don't spend time gossiping, bad mouthing other people, judging other people, finding faults in others, or allow yourself to be consumed in negative thoughts like jealousy, guilt or fear, or constructing excuses to cover up how you actually feel. It doesn’t matter if this happens only in your mind or you verbalize it with others. Make the choice to not entertain these thoughts.

Don't spend mental time doubting, second guessing, judging, arguing, or being mean to you.  


The more you monitor and pay attention to your beliefs and the content your thoughts, the more influence you will have over your thoughts. Be observant of how you manifest the content through listening to words that you speak. The main question you should ask yourself … is the content of your beliefs, words, or thoughts holding you captive, causing you to ruminate constantly and bringing you down. If your answer is yes, then you need to cleanse your inner voice.

5 Tips to Cleanse Your Inner Voice

Follow these 5 tips to inner voice cleanse and achieve inner peace:

1. Be mindful of your thought content. Take time and notice in the moment when you are having a thought. Is the thought negative, self-destructive, sabotaging or creating emotional discomfort for you? 

2. Ask yourself: “Is this thought moving me toward or away from my beliefs, and is it how I want to live?”

3. If the thought is moving you away from the kind of person you want to be or how you want to believe, then clear the thought from your stream of thinking. Realize that this thought is just a thought and not an authority. 

4. Recognize and uncover the underlying emotion or emotions that may be fueling your negative, unhelpful thought stream. Shift the emotion(s) by breathing through it for a few minutes until it diminishes. Choose an empowering or cleansing word to help your mind let go of the repetitive negative cycle. I like to repeat “release – release” in my mind in order to move past a negative thought loop.

5. Empower yourself by remembering that the nature of the mind is to think. It is a tool, not the ruler. Your mind should be constantly producing thoughts for you. So be creative and consciously alter your thought stream by producing positive thoughts. Focus on these positive thoughts, and inject them into your stream of consciousness every day.


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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Your Conscious Mind Does not Control You

Conscious mind in the human brain has been seen for decades as the strongest part of the mind. It has been believed that the conscious mind has the power to solve problems, make decisions and has the ability to get things done for you in life.

General theory by professionals is that your conscious mind controls 10 percent of your waking thought content and actions. Which infers that your subconscious mind influences 90 percent of why you act, fell, react and think the way that you do.

Definition of Conscious Mind

Conscious mind is defined as the localized center of conscious control. The internal mental region in the human brain which seems to govern your actions, thoughts and reactions through problem solving and decision making during waking state.

New Enlightenment

A new theory proposed by a San Francisco State research team through more than 10 years of study that your conscious mind has considerable less in control. Your conscious mind is far less powerful in your life than previously believed. Their proposed theory is counter intuitive to popular beliefs and appears to go against everything you have been taught or thought about what the conscious mind does.

Previous theory generally thought that the conscious mind solved problems and guides you to a course of action but from the research it does not. It was found that the conscious mind does the same simple task over and over. It gives you the impression that it is doing more than it actually is.

The research findings found in the San Francisco State study was that the conscious mind serves as a passive channel rather than an active force. It is far less influential and significant.

This new theory based on the 10 year research expounds that the conscious is more like the interpreter of messages sent from the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the presenter of the information not the maker of decisions or the mind that acts on the knowledge. It seems that the information in the conscious mind is not created through the conscious routes. The conscious mind doesn't do as much as you thought it did. In fact San Francisco State study reported that the conscious mind is just the middle-man between the subconscious mind and your outside world.
The research also found “one conscious thought does not lead to another”.

After Thoughts

As a result of this new information that your conscious mind is more like the tip of an iceberg and the real decision maker is the subconscious mind or the mass of the iceberg below the surface of the water line. The subconscious mind is more influential and powerful than thought in how you live your life

Therefore in truth it is the subconscious mind that is the driver and regulator of your life. Within the subconscious mind is coded data accepted through your life which determines, influences and governs how you will act, feel, think, and reaction towards yourself, others and situations. When situations triggers your subconscious mind’s data, it send instructions to the conscious mind to interpret through thought and manifests a reaction outwardly by way of emotions and behaviors. So it is the conscious mind that interprets subconscious core beliefs, codes, data and messages. 

Therefore in order to understand yourself fully on why you do what you do, think the way you do and feel the way you do, it becomes more important to understand your mind code and the elements of your personal philosophy.  

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

7 Tips on How Your Imagination can be the Power of Change

"All changes in yourself and life start in the imagination. The imagination is capable of turning mind energy into realized drive and success."  

How to change your life positive

Simply use your imagination. Imagination is one of our most powerful tools available to you as a person.  Imagination is the one thing within us, as humans, that gives us the amazing ability to "create what is not there yet".  

Think about it.  Our imagination can truly assist you in creating something new? Everything that we been created in the world has stemmed from a seed in someone's imagination. Everyone has this ability. Our imagination contains the magnificent power to generate thoughts or concepts (those intentions we wish, or desire or expect) which can be manifested in the future. Every idea, dream and every goal can be achieved by accessing our creative mind, the imagination.  And, with a little effort, focus and practice, a constant flow of ideas will come to you with ease.  This is the brilliance of your imagination in your brain.

In order to access your imagination you have to spend time with yourself.  

7 tips on accessing the power of your imagination 

1. Find a peaceful environment

2. Get quiet and be calm Remain quiet and calm

3. Ask for internal guidance with and / or inspiration about a 
    specific desire  

4. Then focus on the desire or idea

5. Repeat your desire out loud and repeat in your 4 times then listen

6. Wait patiently for a flow of thoughts that will come 
     into your mind

7. Listen, hear your answers and then write it down 
    immediately after the session

After Thoughts

Write down all the ideas and thoughts that arise during your session whether you think they are important or not.  Do not discount or rationalize any thoughts that come to mind. Then, rest in the faith that your imagination will generate ideas, thoughts and solutions to accomplish your desire. Know that imagination possesses all the energy you need to continue generating more ideas, thoughts and solutions on the way to accomplishing success in your life. 

Believe, have faith and harvest the rewards of your effort. The more you practice the easier access to your imagination will come. Your imagination will open to you to abundance.

Following these tips will help you make a positive change and reach greater success.

For more ideas, visit my website and download my eBook which is my Gift to you.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

19 Quotes to Feed Your Soul

Feeding your Soul with knowledge is very important to achieve personal change, fulfillment, growth, happiness and success. When you feed your Soul, your whole being fills up with increase your self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-worth. 

As your Soul grows and matures, it will manifest all its good feelings and positiveness through increased energy, drive, fulfillment and motivation. 

19 quotes to fill your Soul with inner strength

"A relationship with self is born and cultivated in the heart, 
  but nurtured in the Soul"

"All the answers, desires and power you need to achieve for  
 anything resides inside you"

“Some of the greatest challenges are found within the silent
  chambers of your own soul”

"You can have any thoughts you want, but you do not have 
  to complete the action associated with that thought"

"Answers to your resistance, anger or self-deception are 
 entrenched in old dis-empowering core beliefs hidden 
 from your Soul"

“Discover the root cause, alter your core beliefs, and shift 
  your mindset to free your Soul and helps it to grow”

"Coaches who can outline plays on a blackboard are a dime a  dozen. Winning coaches are those who get connected their  apprentice’s Soul and motivates him or her to do more than they  think can do"

“The Soul has a deep rooted right to feel”

"Even though bad stuff happened to you in your life, 
  bad stuff does not have to define your Soul."

"Emotional pain will diminish in your Soul if you 
 do not feed it"

"When a door closes, another one opens. But often you 
  still look at the closed door rather than approach 
  the one that has been opened for you"

"Exaggerated or false expectations are resentments 
  under construction"

"Blind fear is diminished by the completion of an action"

"The more effort you put into not facing or submerging 
  a fearful issue, hurt or pain, the more the issue, hurt or pain 
  will surface and festers out of control while shadowing your soul."

"Your Soul yearns to stand at a new threshold of life and 
  direction. So stand still and don't react while believing 
  in the strength of your Soul"

“Life’s intentions is discovering what is possible for you, 
  nurturing your creativity and live in the moment for self, 
  and not for everyone else”

“What you resist gives what you are resisting power and 
   influence which diminishes your connection with your Soul”

“When you feed and nurture your soul, then it manifests itself 
  in positive changes in yourself and your life”

“When your Soul is full, you become complete”


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

7 Tips Accessing Power of Gratitude

Seeking positive change in yourself or your life? Where do you find it? The only place is from within, not from anywhere outside of yourself.

Connect with your Gratitudes

Positive change in your life happens when you realize your gratitude you have now, in the moment. Your path to positive change is internal and occurs when you believe that you deserve and you are worthy of that change. The inner path for achieving forward movement is through inwardly thank your soul for your accomplishments. When you know your gratitude, your soul fills with light. When you are grateful for what you have in the moment you will be mindful for and with yourself. In the process you will become more authentic with yourself and your life. Strive to make a positive change which you truly desire.

One way of achieving this is to know what your core beliefs are and how they match or do not match with your external reactions to life experiences. 

Everything that you accomplish is for one reason only. You believe that you will feel more positive about having what you have. But, the truth is, you must feel positive about yourself to deserve and be worthy of what you desire before you can achieve what you want! 

So the secret is to believe in yourself first.

7 tips on accessing the power of gratitude ;

1. Make a list to all you grateful for and set it next to you while 
    you do the rest of the steps

2. Recognize what you desire

3. Be specific

4. Create a plan

5. Set positive steps

6. Establish how you will measure your achievements

7. Put your steps into action in the moment 

If you consistently follow through on these tips, and your life will change for the positive, you will achieve more satisfaction, and your soul will fill up with light. 

When said another way, when you adjust your core beliefs and putting them into action consistently you will produce positive results in yourself and your life. If you simply look around with positive eyes in the moment you will recognize that you already have much of what you desire. 

After Thoughts

Remember, positive core beliefs are an internal vision of your future successes and what you will accomplish. Preformed core beliefs influence your more than you realize. When you tune into our core beliefs then we will spiral upward receiving more positive blessings. Being vigilant about your gratitude will show you the energy you possess in your soul. Your soul will be very appreciative. 

For more ideas, visit my website and download my FREE eBook.


Friday, June 5, 2015

2 Quick Tips on How to Change Negative Beliefs to Positive

Do you suffer from any of these common stressful pre-formed beliefs?

~Believing in possible future disasters or focusing old mistakes         or hurts 
~Taking everything that happens personally
~Judge and criticize yourself
~Hypersensitive to every situation causing anger, anxiety and fear 
~Excessive thoughts that negative things will happen

Everyone has negative thinking patterns like these due to old embedded and rigid beliefs about themselves. In fact, some studies estimate that about 75 to 80% of all negative thinking patterns come from negative beliefs you have pre-formed about yourself. 

But just because it’s normal to unconsciously react to negative beliefs doesn't mean it’s a good thing or that those beliefs are the truth about you. Example of these beliefs like “I am not good enough” “I don’t deserve”, “I am unworthy of”, or “I always fail at what I do”. These negative and stressful beliefs cause negative thinking habits. Old beliefs like these can create unwanted bad moods, make you anxious without your even knowing why, cause you to perform poorly, turn yourself against yourself, cause to feel unfulfilled, cause you to sabotage good relationships, and even flood your body with stress chemicals that can lead to physical exhaustion and disorders. 

The bad news is: Ignoring negative beliefs can easily become habits causing you to say, do and believe negatively. Old formed beliefs are like a repetitive songs known as an earworms can stick in your mind.

The good news is that change is up to you

The good news is:  You have the power to change and ease your misery and find inner peace as well as increase confidence. Truly it is all up to you. You already know that are you’re your toughest critic. Your criticisms, self-judgments and self-limiting beliefs surface into your consciousness through the realization listening to your negative inner voice in your head. 

2 Quick Tips in Changing

#1 Change your mindset toward yourself

Many writers has been captivated with writing and investigating the “inner self talk voice” and how people talk to themselves. First of all they found that having an internal voice is normal and helps us to make decision and determine how we will respond in life. An interesting result of all their efforts was that after judging your performance as poor your internal voice will become meaner, more doubtful, more critical and even self-shaming.

Your attitude toward yourself determines what you will do and not do for you. Determine if your attitude is negative or positive toward yourself. Figure out if it is really true and if not change it.

#2 Learn to inspire yourself through changing beliefs  

Become your own cheerleader. Understand no one else will do that for you.

To gain calmness in your mind and inner peace you have to change your beliefs you have about yourself. Make a list of all of your beliefs about yourself. Evaluate them and then determine which are true and which are not. With the ones that are not cross them out and write a new belief beside it. Once complete, write them all on a new piece of paper and then repeat them to yourself 10 times a day for 14 days. Once you have consistently repeated them for those 14 days your mind will accept these new beliefs as your truth.

After Thoughts

Your mind does not feel emotions, it just makes true whatever is written in it. Meaning your mind does not determine what is good or bad beliefs for you. You form a belief with each experience you have in life and if you are disappointed with your perform in anything the belief will be negative. 
If you work these 2 quick tips and are consistent in following through with them, your attitude will turn positive and your degree of self-confidence will increase.

Make a positive change today with the 30 Day Mind Changing Challenge. Take the Mini Challenge to see if you are ready to change your thoughts.


Saturday, February 28, 2015

Guest Blog Testimonial on 30 Day Mind Challenge

Hello, my Name is Judy Lee Thurber and I completed Dr. Bill 30 Day Mind Challenge.

"In one month my mind script changed. My thoughts have changed for the good. I am changed for the better. I finally feel like I can take in a breath of air."

Before working with the 30-Day Challenge, I could tell that I had internal roadblocks and barriers to the good stuff in life ... like having a healthy body, fulfilling peaceful relationships, a calm mind and feeling of purpose in my soul. I wanted those things like a drowning person wants air but didn't feel allowed to deserve it. I understood that I felt like I didn't deserve these things or that I wasn't worthy, and that's why they never manifested in my life no matter how hard I would try.

The problem was that I didn't know how to actually make this change. I could see where I was ... didn't know the root of it … and I could see where I wanted to be. I could not figure out how to get from Point A to Point B. I even thought God had deserted me because no amount of prayer was making a difference.

However, that prayer was answered ... in the form of Dr. Bill Tollefson and this 30 Day Mind Challenge. When I started to understand the consequences of the abuse from my childhood, I realized that I truly had no foundation to my life. Everything on which I had built my life was nothing but rubble. Well-meaning friends would tell me to just put it behind me and move on. They would remind me that I was smart and full of faith - surely I could deal with making these changes. They would tell me that I just needed to use a little more will power and discipline. The more I tried, the further I went away from it, the more I failed, and the more disheartened I became. I continuously wondered what was wrong with me.

The 30 Day Challenge gave me the tools for creating a new foundation ... block by block. When I looked back on the negative core beliefs and core expectations I had, it is truly amazing that I even accomplished anything in my life. Surprising I survived at all. Now with this step-by-step product for creating new core beliefs, core values and core expectations, I built a new foundation for a new life that I choose, I created, which now serves my goals and brings me closer to my dreams. I am now able to accept the tools for creating a healthy body, fulfilling relationships, a calm and productive mind, and a feeling of purpose and self-love in my heart.

The proof is in the pudding ... my two teenage sons actually choose to spend time with me now. We get along with each other and have fun together. I now know that God never deserted me. I just needed to reach out and embrace the tools He was giving me and put them to use in my life. I truly have a life filled with Love and Gratitude now.

"Thanks Dr. Bill for giving me a product that showed me how to get me back. You are truly a Positive Mind Architect." - Judy Lee

If you need help rewriting your mind script in order to remove negative, self- limiting and self-sabotaging thinking from destroying your ability to get what you want out of life then visit my website home page at:  and download your FREE eBook today.

Also take the FREE mini mind challenge to see if you are a candidate for the 30 Day Challenge which will assist you in rewriting your mind script in ONE MONTH.


Friday, February 13, 2015

4 Tips on Hacking Your Mind for Positive Results

What are you saying to yourself?

You are probably experiencing negative thinking on a daily basis. Some days it is mild and on other days it is more severe. Is your negative thinking limiting you?

Most negative thinking is an attempt block or avoid negative thinking by initiating “if only thinking”. If only thinking is an attempt to project into the future and stay out of your present. You start in this style of thinking to avoid having to make decisions in the moment. Otherwise meaning this type of thinking is an advance way of second guessing yourself and what is happening in your life. An advantage of if only thinking is that it keeps you out of the moment, away from negative thoughts, stops your feelings and gets you into the future.

What is “If Only Thinking”?

To help you understand better and become more mindful of such thinking, here is a definition. Basically the definition “if only thinking” is thinking that projects you into the future where you will get something or someone you want (because you are not getting it now) and produce an action (happiness, fulfillment or success).

So how does “if only thinking” work in your mind

Say you are in a situation, relationship or job where you are not getting you what you want and possibly unhappy. You have to make a decision of what you want, to do or feel. To avoid it you make a false intention to yourself, like “if I only would get X (could be something or someone) then I would be the happiest person in the world.” You work very hard to get that something or someone in your life.  You actually do work hard and get X. Once you get X you find out that it does not automatically change your situation, your feelings, your behavior or situation. You realize is nothing changed like you expected. At the same time you are told by someone close to you, “well you are so lucky that you got X, you should be the happiest you have ever been?” Inside yourself, you know the answer is “No, I am not”.

At that point your “if only thinking” kicks in again and your mind feeds you another false proposition, if you got Y, then you would attain the real answer. Now you really over expect and quietly bet on Y being the answer. Once more you work very hard to achieve Y, and you do achieve Y. But again you discover Y does not fulfill your inner need or expectation.

Since Y is not the answer and extreme disappointed sets in. Your mind then searches wildly into a possible future scenario. Amazingly your mind comes up with another false scheme. Suddenly you know that X and Y were not the real answer but now, for sure, Z is what will make you will make you content, peaceful, gratified and prosperous. You put in all the effort you can muster up and accomplish Z. The result is having Z is still not your answer. You remain unhappy, unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

Without answer your mind consequently continues on and on in this type of diluted thinking cycle. Meanwhile you are totally losing and missing what is in front of you in the moment.

What if you could hack into your thoughts?

Hacking is the art of being able to break into something. For the purpose of this article Hacking is the skill of breaking into your thinking source code.

4 Tips on Hacking your Mind for Positive Results

Is it possible? Yes it is. In order to hack into your own thoughts first you need to stop doing what you are doing. Get in a comfortable position and take two deep breaths (all the way in and exhale completely). By stopping all distractions you will be able to increase your ability to focus and get into harmony with your thoughts. As long as you are inattentive to your thoughts, taking your thoughts for granted and as the truth, then you cannot help but be swallowed up by the diluted thinking that your answers are in the future and not in the moment.

1. Create a new mindset

Do not take your thoughts for granted or believe that you are powerless to change them. 

You have the ability to change your thoughts once you know if the focus of your thoughts are mainly centered on your past, your moment or your future. The most power way to change your thoughts is to change your mindset.

2. Don't invest into false possibilities

Don't be swayed into a false beliefs or untrue possibilities which cause you to over expect. 99% of all predicting thoughts of what you think might happen in the future (good or bad) do not come true. You're predicting thoughts are not true reflection of what will happen in the future and the positive outcomes you want.

The best way to hack into your own thinking and not coming swayed by this type of thinking is to not take your thinking personally. Once you are depersonalized from your thinking you can be more efficient in hacking and changing your thinking. You do this by imagining you are viewing your thinking by being another person looking in on your own mind. “If only thinking” can be so real, enticing and alluring that you get into a false sense of excitement, possibility and gratification. Unfortunately, none of the promises from this form of thinking ever come true.

3. Be real, not emotionally connected

Now view your thoughts from an impersonal mindset. It will allow you to be able to step back mentally with more objectiveness and less emotional charge tied to your thinking. Once you are less emotionally attached you will reduce the influence your thinking has over you.

Imagine your “if only thinking” has its own body and mind. Pretend this person is talking to you and attempting to convince you “if only you would (buy, feel, do….) then your life would be perfect”. Once you have this objectiveness set up in your mind, then spend a day talking to this person. Guaranteed you will want to completely separate yourself from this person (a.k.a. the thinking) by the end of the day because nothing that this person is saying ever comes true.

If only thinking” has far less impact on your actions, emotions, mindset or future outcomes than you would like to think. If you do not allow it to have power it won’t. If you're willing to be objective and monitor the content of all your thoughts, you will be able to successfully hack into your thinking, shut down the “if only thinking” and negative thoughts as well as gain clarity of all the good things in life in the moment. Having gratitude for what you have in the moment is always better and healthier than betting on a prediction that will never happen.

4. Gain Mindfulness

Lastly, you should begin the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness is being able to stay focused on what is occurring in the moment. Mindfulness is having no judgment, no thoughts and no meaning. It’s simply focusing in the moment.  

Simply focus on the moment. Now is all you truly have. Don’t lose it. Embrace it.  

If you need more help to remove negative or "if only" thinking from destroying your ability to get what you want out of life then visit my website home page at:     
and download your FREE eBook today.


          C2C   means   Charged 2 Change 

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