Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Your thoughts are very important and carry a lot of conscious power and influence to rule your life.
Unfortunately it seems as though thoughts come out of thin air and control you but they really don’t.
Here is 7 tips on what your thoughts determine.
1. Thoughts determine, direct, and influence you degree of awareness.
2. Thoughts determine your emotions. How you feel, good or bad, happy or sad.
3. Thoughts determine how you focus. Whether you focus on the past, the
moment or into the future.
4. Thoughts determine how you view yourself. Your self-worth, confidence and identity.
5. Thoughts determine whether you have value and your worth in degree to
someone or something else.
6. Thoughts determine how you perceive others and the world around you.
7. Thoughts determine the type of relationships you have with yourself and someone else.
What are the origin of your thoughts?
Since you are not total aware of where your thoughts come from it is good to understand where they originate. Your thoughts are actually generated from your core beliefs that reside deep from within your subconscious mind. Your core beliefs are formed from the experiences you have growing up. So in order to change your thoughts you have to become aware of what you truly believe in. If your beliefs are not positive then neither will your thoughts be.
5 Tips on Changing Your Thoughts to Positive and Productive
So how to change your core beliefs that will change the nature of your thoughts. Here 5 steps on how to accomplish a change in the thoughts your mind generates.
First of all you cannot fix what you’re aware. So recognition is your first and most important step. On a piece of paper, write down all your beliefs you have about yourself, others and the world; good and bad, insignificant or significant, large or small. Also note the emotion that is associated with each core belief you list.
In this step determine each belief in your list actually your truth? Identify whether each belief you recognized on your listed is real or a lie, positive or negative, productive or destructive. Draw a one straight line through the beliefs that are not true, negative and destructive. Those marked core beliefs are the ones that are barriers to change and counterproductive to the way you want to think.
3. Create anew
Third step is creating new list of beliefs. Next to each lined out belief, create and write down a positive belief you want to replace the old blocking belief with next to it. To make sure each belief embeds itself assign a feeling to each new belief. If you do not create new beliefs with an associated feeling and consistently work to replace the old ones your mind will continue to generate the same old useless thoughts.
4. Practice, practice and practice so more
Last step is to shift your mind to focus and accept the new belief over old belief. You accomplish this by practicing acceptance through repeating your new list out loud to yourself 5 times daily, every day for 30 days. It is most important is to say your new belief list first time in the morning when you first wake up and then the last time before you close your eyes to go to sleep. To make your new beliefs more powerful, say your new beliefs with the feeling assigned to each belief in step 3 and do it with a strong emotional tone.
Saying the list every day for 30 days and you follow through with the practicing the new beliefs daily they will embed themselves into your subconscious and the new ones will replace the old ones. Also the beliefs will become your mind’s truth.
5. Be observant
Also monitor your thoughts after the 30 days and acknowledge when your new beliefs start to manifest themselves in your thoughts. How will you know that? You will be told by other people in your life that you seem different, thinking differently or you will be aware of the difference.
Once you recognize the origin of your thoughts, meaning recognizing the ones that are false, negative and unproductive and that your old thoughts were generated from them then the power to change your thoughts is yours. Don’t be a slave to your thoughts anymore. When you change the content of your core beliefs you then hold the ability to influence and determine how you will think.
Empower yourself by invoking new beliefs that you can accept and believe in.
Visit my website and click here to download a free eBook.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Everyone wants to be healthier with less anxiety and stress as well as be more mindful. But we don't always know how. Here are two ideas and ways to live more intuitively.
Breathing is the most important and necessary thing you do every day. But breathing, bringing in oxygen, can also be so healthy to your body and mind as well as emotional well-being. If your breathing is done with an intuitive method you could gain so many benefits.
Breathing can be productive. If done in an intuitive focused manner you can increase calmness and connect with yourself therefore decreasing your anxiety level. Done in another way you can reduce your stress and become more mindful. Who wouldn’t want to be calm, connected and mindful along with decreasing anxiety and stress levels?
Here are two breathing methods that will improve your life and health if practiced. Understand the more you practice either or both method the greater the benefits.
Two Methods of Intuitive Breathing
Intuitive Breathing Tip #1
Intuitive Breathing method #1 will assist you in reducing anxiety, help to achieve a degree of calmness, and improve your connectedness with yourself.
In order to reduce your anxiety, become calmer and more connected with yourself with Intuitive Breathing follow these tips.
Inhale while counting to 4
Hold your breath at a count of 4
Exhale completely while counting to 8
Repeat at least 8 times to get full effect.
Intuitive Breathing Tip #2
Intuitive Breathing method #2 will assist you in decreasing your stress level, and increase your ability to be mindful.
Inhale while counting to 4
Hold your breath to the count of 2
Repeat at least 4 times to get full effect.
Benefits of Intuitive Breathing
Emotional stability improves
Clarity of thought materializes
Connection with the moment
Peace of mind appears
Intuitive Breathing can be perform by sitting comfortably with your eyes open or shut. You can also get results same results when you are walking. Both way can help you to become healthier and increase your intuitive ability as well as live better.
Visit my website and click here for free eBook.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Seems as though your thoughts have all the power in the world, especially in your own head.
If only you had the power to just change your thoughts with just changing the way you think.
Do your thoughts have power or are they influenced and govern from the deeps part of the mind? There has been a huge misconception going on for decades which says if you think positive thoughts you can overcome negative and move with positiveness. For years people have been focusing on and practicing faithfully positive affirmations in order to change negative thought to positive just by saying. Well it is not working at all. Universally people are getting really tired of it. People have become very tired of this philosophy that just positive thinking can project them into being happy, fulfilled and successful thoughts.
To think that you can just think positive thoughts and your mind will change its thought patterns and will help you through life's barrier is very misleading. Thoughts do not have that power.
Significantly less than 10% of our ability to succeed, lose weight, overcome bad situations, make positive change, stop negative thoughts, recover from addictions, form deeper relationships, achieve love, or find fulfillment, has to do with how you think.
Actually more than 90% has to do directly with beliefs you have formed as you grew up and are now stored in your subconscious mind. You are unaware of that fact. Believe it or not you have been accumulating and accepting beliefs into your subconscious mind over your life time. Really it is these stored beliefs which directly influence and govern how you form your thoughts and how you think.
In order to make a substantial change to how you think you have to understand how your mind works and that over 90 percent of all thoughts are formed and govern by your beliefs that have shaped from your experiences as you grew up. These beliefs, unknown to you, embedded themselves in your subconscious mind.
The content of your thoughts and degree of happiness, fulfillment and success you experience originate directly based on your beliefs.
Thought Power is the Direct Result Of an Mind Algorithm
Your beliefs actually are formed from what is termed mind code. Your mind code is what really determines who you are, how you behave, your emotions, how you sense and how you react as well as and very importantly mind code is where your identity originated.
Mind code is data your brain gathers everyday of your life from situations you go through. Think of mind code as a mind algorithm. An algorithm is step by step instructions of how your mind will operate. The data is then converted into your belief system or personal philosophy. Then your core beliefs feed content to your inner voice. It is the content of your inner voice that greatly influences and governs the formation and direction of your thoughts
A mind algorithm is very similar to a computer algorithm. In a computer it is the algorithms that tell the computer and program how to function. If the computer algorithms get changed like through a virus then the computer reacts differently or doesn’t work at all. The same is true with mind algorithms. If the mind accepts negative data from experiences, it then produces negative beliefs and in turn generates negative thoughts. An example is if we experience a hurtful situation that causes you to form a negative core belief that you are not good enough then you will think we are not good enough and not know why you are negative toward yourself.
So the powers your think your thoughts have doesn’t start at the thinking level. The power is in your mind code and core beliefs which are completely unknown to your consciousness until it surfaces into your inner voice.
If you really want to change how your thoughts you need to change your core beliefs. Mind code that ultimately decides how you will act, feel, interact and think about ourselves, others and life situations.
6 Tips Accessing the Powers to Change Thought
Let's get started regaining your power.
1. Believing that you have the power to create positive habits. The truth is, it’s just as easy to create positive habits as it is to create negative ones. It’s just a matter of how you spend your time. You can spend your time believing things you are not or create new beliefs that bring you closer to what you want to believe in. Or submitting to old beliefs that do not serve you.
Thinking negatively can become an addiction. People complain, “It’s too hard to keep my energy up thinking in what is good for me!” It’s not hard – it’s just that people get in the habit of thinking negatively. If this sounds like you, break the habit. Realize that you are where you are because of the way you believed in the past, and your future depends on the beliefs you accept today. You can choose to stay negative, or create new beliefs that will change your thinking. You can choose to watch another sitcom, or you can choose to read another chapter in a great book.
Honestly you can choose to act on opportunity, or you can choose to focus barriers. There’s nothing hard or complicated about it, other than the way you’re thinking based on old negative core beliefs that no longer serve you or the direction in your life.
2. Ruminating on everything, over and over again. Lack of confidence and discipline, mixed with over expecting rapid success and negative beliefs, fuels a habit of negative thoughts. Many studies suggest that ruminating is a self-handicapper: rather than risk failure, they prefer to create and indulge in beliefs formed long ago that create barriers to success and make it next to impossible which forms a vicious cycle. The best thing you can do for yourself is to break this cycle – stop saying “I can’t,” start saying “I can,” and then put it into action. The world isn’t going to dominate itself. Stop fearing something will probably won’t happen in your life.
Thinking isn’t enough; you must apply! Building a strong belief system is the way toward successful thinking; you must DO! If you can’t change all beliefs at once changing a few at a time will add up. A positive belief system built over time, in small increments, tends to be create a change in your thinking that lasts for a long time.
3. Comparing oneself to others, and then harboring bitterness or resentment. Negative thinking people believe someone else’s good fortune steals from their own. They believe they are not good enough to deserve success. This leads to bitterness and resentment. Don’t let bitterness (or jealously) get the best of you. Bitterness is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own – there’s nothing attractive or admirable about believing this. So stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s. Your life is your life. Living isn’t a competition. You are competing with yourself to believe you are the best you can be. If you want to measure your improvement, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
4. Self-doubt fuels negativity and withdrawal. The mind is an awesome tool if used right, but it’s also a negativity engine that attempts to fill your awareness with doubt if you allow it. Any uncomfortable thinking should be rejected. Don’t accept it and let it get the best of you. Believe in yourself through tough times. Believe in your capacity to flourish. Believe making new connections are worth the effort. Believe strongly that people make mistakes on their way to greatness. Believe that people can be thoughtless and intelligent, selfish and gracious, and stressed and excited all at the same time. Believe that there are many roads to what’s right. Most of all believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths. Believe that the answers are within you not outside you. Believe that life will surprise you over and over again. Believe that your experiences along the way are the destination. Those who don’t have strong and positive beliefs, think they will never find their strength within.
5. Don’t put yourself down. There is enough people out there to put you down due to their own negative beliefs. Begin with forming compassion toward yourself. Compassion simply is a keen emotional understanding of the situations you have experienced and how they have gotten you to where you have gotten to.
Believe that you can overcome anything and your thinking will fall in line.
6. Recognize your beliefs. You have to recognize your beliefs in order to correct them. Your core beliefs are the windows of your mind code. Meaning if you make the effort to recognize the bad beliefs you carry and change them then your life will change for the better. So write down a list of all your core beliefs you have about yourself. Study the list and determine whether each one is true or false, real or delusional, yours or someone else’s and finally what kind of emotion that belief would produce. For every belief that is false, delusional, accepted from someone else and produces a negative emotion, then write a new positive one and accept it into your belief system with a strong positive emotion. Read your new list daily. Especially first thing in the morning and the just before you fall asleep when your mind is most pliable to new beliefs. Watch your thoughts change.
You can't think yourself to greatness but with a solid positive core belief system you can accomplish anything you want. Follow #6 above and create a new skill which will manifest in a change in your thinking and the result will be a new you!
Visit my website and click here for a free eBook.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Ever wish you could just edit your mind like you edit you documents on your computer? Make your mind produce thoughts you like? Have you ever pondered why you say some of the things you say unintentionally, think the strange thoughts, act in a way that are inappropriate with who you are, respond incorrectly to the situations, or why you are just uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you wish that you could just edit your mind and make it produce thoughts you like?
Do you ever question if thoughts is sabotage your identity, your careers, relationships, or fulfillment as well as your future successes? If your answer is yes or sometimes, there is a strong possibility your identity and how you function in life is caused by your mind script.
You are so connected to your thoughts that you often think your thoughts are the core of your identity. But while your thoughts are undeniably connected to you, your true relationship with your thoughts is much more complicated than that. The truth is ... it is not your thoughts which drive your identity and life it is your mind script.
Tracing the roots of your thoughts to their deepest layers of your mind can be extremely beneficial and can help you more compassionate toward yourself and why you think the way you do. The origination of your thoughts could help you to deal with anxieties, phobias and neuroses.
Yet focusing too much on your thoughts, where they come from and your need to control them (especially the disturbing ones), can throw you off in your search for the root of your identity. In fact, the more you focus on your thoughts for the answer, the more you do not find the answer and distance yourself from you. Over focusing on them does not give thoughts more legitimacy, influence and solidity. Believe it or not, your thoughts do not over rule your emotions and actions.
What drives your identity?
Do you feel like everything that you say and do is predetermined? You are normal if you think that way. Your thoughts are not the driver of your identity but only the passenger. Your thoughts are just a part of the big picture ... they are more like the tip of the iceberg. Thoughts are only the by-product of the script that is written deep within your mind as you grow up and form an identity. The truth is your conscious mind can only believe, do, feel, react, or think as a result of what is written in your mind script. Nothing more and nothing less. Meaning you or your identity is only a manifestation of your mind script.
What is mind script?
Mind script, also termed mind code, starts being written at the time your brain activates before you are born. Once activated, your brain records your history. This recording ability is called memory. Memory or the recording of your history is one small aspect of your total brain function. Unknown to you, in another compartment of your brain, mind script is being written.
Mind script? What is that? Even though you think your thoughts are created by you and you are in control of them, you really are not. Sometimes your thoughts seem to be completely out of control, and you feel like you are just tagging along for the ride. You mind script is data collected by your mind throughout all your experiences in your life and imprinting them on your subconscious mind. This data is used to form your core beliefs, messages you form about yourself from your experiences. It is your core beliefs that supply content for you inner voice, which can be critical or supportive. Then it is the flavor and perception of your inner voice that produces you thoughts. It is essence of your thoughts then governs whether your emotions and actions are motivating or self-limiting and self-defeating. No one sees this process until your script is revealed in your emotions and behaviors which others see.
Mind script is the result of ongoing imprinting and embedding of life data which is gathered from every experience you have. This data is a systematic collection of all your beliefs formed about yourself, others and the world. Mind script also records all your biases, doubts, expectations, fears, instructions, likes, dislikes, messages, procedures, promises, regulations and rules. The embedded data develops into a script, a written code that constantly runs silently in the background, deep within your subconscious mind and govern who and how you will be. Simply it governs your identity. This script or step by step operating code manages, determines and influences who you are, what you say, how you react … meaning it is the script which controls and determines your identity.
How does mind script express itself in your life?
Your mind script expresses itself eventually through your beliefs, and it is your beliefs which influence your thoughts directly. Then indirectly your behaviors, emotions and reactions form from your thoughts.
How does it happen?
Let’s take it one step at a time. It is your mind script or mind code that becomes the data base or foundation for the development of your identity. Your code directly influences how your core beliefs will be formed. At that point, it is your core beliefs which send content (negative or positive, good or evil, right or wrong, doubts or positive information, etc.) to your inner voice in your head. The flavor of the content of your core beliefs governs whether you have an inner voice that is critical or supportive. It is your inner voice that defines the type of thoughts you think. The essence of your thoughts then governs whether your emotions and actions are motivating or self-limiting and self-defeating. It is your emotions and behaviors which others see.
6 Tips on How to Edit Your Thinking
1. List all the beliefs you have about yourself.
2. Recognize which of your beliefs about yourself are beneficial and which are not beneficial.
3. Make a mark next to the core beliefs you want to change.
4. Edit the content by writing a new core beliefs.
5. Say each one out loud with emotion
6. Repeat your new list 2 times a day for 67 days. First time when you first wake up and 2nd time
just before you close your eyes to go to sleep.
In changing your core beliefs, your brain automatically rewrite its script. Once the script is changed, your thinking will alter and finally down the road your identity will change.
It is your mind script which is the root and true predictor of your identity. So what you do, how you outwardly display, feel, say, think, and react to, is always a manifestation of your mind script or mind code in the end.
So when dark thoughts arise, recognize them, grab them by the tail, and follow the thoughts back from your inner voice to the core belief where they originated.
Don't let your script be the master of your identity. Be the architect of your script, and you will be the master of your identity. Your identity is not rigid or unchangeable. In fact it is flexible. Take back your ability to change.
If you need more help in rewriting your mind script in order to remove negative, self-limiting and self-sabotaging thinking, be brave and reach out. Don’t let your mind script destroy your ability to get what you want out of life.
Be my guest and take the free Mini Mind Changing Challenge.
See if you are a candidate for the 30 Day Challenge which will assist you in edit your mind script in just ONE MONTH.
Visit my Website or your smartphone and Click here for a gift of my eBook
Follow me on Twitter @drbilllifecoach
Friday, January 29, 2016
I have lived my whole life with an inner voice that would judge me, berate me and well, was generally mean to me. Come to find out that there is an inner voice is present in everyone. Whew!! I am not alone.
I know that I am not crazy or having auditory hallucinations. I know that everyone has an inner voice. Sometimes it is beneficial and sometimes it can be critical, judgmental, tormenting voice in their head. Growing up mine was the latter.
I call that self-talk voice in my head, my inner critic. Growing up I always was subjected to negative self-messages in my head which came front and center into my conscious thoughts constantly. I attempted to fight my inner critic by ignoring those messages. It never worked. The more I fought it the louder it would become. I took the statements to heart and felt I was just not good enough or not capable. I was never able to quiet my inner voice down. That inner voice was always loud and clear, and I couldn't just shut out its mean messages. Why? Because it struck at my heart by evoking so much emotion in me. I could never tame it. My inner critic controlled me and my life, I didn't control it.
What I learned later in life is that I didn’t just naturally hate myself. The content feeding my inner critic came from what I was told about me from my parents, siblings and other people in my life.
You're not alone
Your inner critic or your self-talk voice in your head which never seems to be silent or go away is actually normal. It doesn't go away because believe it or not your inner voice is you talking to you. Your inner critic or your voice in your head for some reason happens to be very negative toward you because your beliefs about yourself are negative. The way it talks to you in your head is just the way you feel about or doubt yourself. If it is negative is because you believe you are not worth be positive.
Your inner critic expresses critical, doubtful, hurtful, judgmental, and negative statements as well as using mean and ugly words at times.
Is these bad? Yes. On one hand this process is negative because you constantly second guess or doubt your decisions 24/7. On the other hand this voice is only attempting to protect you in a weird way and keep you from harm or doing wrong.
Where does it get its material?
Your inner critic’s content comes from your core beliefs which formed about you and your character, during your life experiences. The reason these caustic core beliefs and statements stick in your subconscious mind is because of your emotional attachments you had to someone or something. Your core beliefs may also been formed and embedded into your subconscious mind because of an emotional charge you felt in a past situation you experienced.
Do Your Inner Critic Statements Control Your Life?
Through my years of coaching, I found that my clients really identified with the term “inner critic.” In asking them to write down all the statements his or her inner critic said to them, I got a litany of nasty comments which he or she heard in their head. The critical internal voice or “the judge” depletes our energy, diminishes our self-worth, contributes to hopelessness, makes you sad and distracts us from taking positive steps.
The inner voice as a judge: condemns, punishes, and berates creating negative self-messages.
Here are Twelve (12) common inner critic statements. Can you identify with any of these?
You don't deserve anything.
You are a loser.
You will never amount to anything.
You are hopeless and less than others.
You will never have what you want.
You're not worth it.
No one will ever want you.
You do everything wrong.
You will amount to nothing.
No one will ever want you.
You're a bad person and there's no hope for you.
The Joe Torre Story
I recently watched a story on Joe Torre. I didn’t know it, but he grew up in an abusive home with an abusive father who criticized him endlessly. Even with his dark past, he worked hard in sports and achieved many awards. He attained MVP as a player 8 times, 9 times he was an all-star player, and he received one MVP batting title. Joe went on to become one of the most winning coaches in the history of baseball winning 2,326 games, and he won 4 World Series games as a coach. He stated that the most important aspect of coaching was to make sure his players respected him.
So even with elements of criticism touted at from an early beginning, there is the incredible power of self that can triumph over adversity and move toward the position of a positive outlook. You do not have to live with the negative messages from your inner critic. Change can be had. Construct new thoughts, practice them, and most of all, connect an emotion with your new thoughts. Then live it. Make these new thoughts your own.
How to Cultivate an Inner Voice to be a Supporter
In other words, if you consciously change the content of your inner critic’s then your thoughts will change. You can do this by recognizing your inner judging voice and denying the old messages and beliefs it expresses. Therefore changing your inner critic into your inner supporter by making your inner voice your friend, not enemy. First change your mindset to accept your inner voice.
Then accept these beliefs.
Believe you can find a solution and accomplish what you want.
Believe you can have faith in yourself.
Believe you can do anything.
Believe there is hope.
Believe you are a winner.
Believe you are worthy and good enough.
5 Tips on turning your inner voice to positive
1. Stop ignoring your inner voice
Get to know your inner critic, its tone of voice, and its intentions. Ignoring it doesn’t reduce its influence or make it go away. Use your observer self. Listen to what your inner voice says. Listen as though you are another person, from a third party perspective as if you are hearing it on the radio. Write each statement down. Recognize whether each statement is an old criticism which is no longer true or an outright lie which was said to you at some point in your life by other people.
The most impactful criticisms tend to come from your closest family and friends to whom you were emotionally attached. Determine whether some of those negative statements were meant to hurt you, or were they trying ensure your emotional and physical safety or possibly to make you a “stronger person.” Know that your mind does not have or express feelings, it just records the words, forms beliefs about you, and repeats them back through your inner critic.
Let your mind help you validate whether the content of your self-critical voice is true or false. Next to each statement note who in your life said it and the situation or event where it occurred. The more you understand about each statement, the less power and influence the critical content has. Discover proof of why each criticism is wrong and unfounded. Once you find the real truth of each, you will create a crack in its content and dissipate its power and influence.
2. Correct each inner critic statement
Once you have completed #1, take another piece of paper and make a list of positive statements that correspond to each negative statement. This list will counteract each bit of critical content in those original critical statements. This new list is intended to increase your confidence, self-esteem, and value in yourself by changing the content of your inner voice.
It can be as simple as creating a new content statement from “You deserve nothing,” to “You deserve to be worthy,” or “You deserve to look at yourself in the mirror and love who you are.” Once you have created these new statements, repeat the statements to yourself ten times a day for 90 days. Also make a promise that you will do them every day, and set up a schedule.
The trick to success is to embed these new positive statements by repeating them with emotion. If you repeat them without emotion, the statements will not embed themselves.
Once you develop your new positive statements and begin repeating your new list daily, you need to give it life. You give them life by believing in them and manifesting their content into your life.
3. Do not falter on your consistency
Be mindful of your deep obligation for your plan of action. Follow through daily by repeating your new list of positive statements for 90 days. You need to accept and change your mindset.
Your new mindset should be positive. Remember that you are in charge of yourself. You are in command of what you believe about yourself, how you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself, what your capabilities are, and knowing that you will perform successfully.
Best results can be achieved by keeping track of how many times you repeat your new list on each day. Track yourself by keeping a journal of your progress. That way you will be able to see that you are following through on your commitment. You will notice the changes that are occurring and how you feel, day after day for 90 days. Keeping track of what you do daily will help you to recognize what you are doing that works and when you fall off in your commitment. When you have mindfulness about what is happening, it will give you motivation to stay on track.
4. Surround yourself with people who think positive, are supportive of you, and make you feel comfortable
Be around people who see and experience you in a positive light. Seek out people who support your positive efforts and mindfulness and have the same vision of you that you now have. Let people who care about you reflect the real you back to you. Start hanging out with people who could use support and need your positive reflection back on them. Practice the balance of receiving and giving positive content to each other. Live in a positive light.
5. Earn respect from your inner critic by expressing your personal authority and power
Understand that your inner critic has been attempting to protect you, but the content from formed core beliefs was feeding your inner critic a steady diet of critical, doubtful and negative content from past experiences.
It is your personal authority … don’t let your inner critic influence your life or the content of your thoughts. Earn respect from your mind by forming your own beliefs and thoughts about yourself. You have that power. Once you decide this, the rest is pretty much practice, practice, more practice and patience.
If you follow these suggestions above, you can positively alter the content of your inner critic and the change will alter your thinking to positive. Changing your inner self talk to positive will change your self talk into an inner sponsor. You can also gain mental peace, calmness, and support resulting in a more positive and fulfilled you, therefore your brave new vision of yourself will manifest in your life.
Friday, November 27, 2015
Without connection in our lives with feel a sense of loss and emptiness. Feelings of strong fear, loss and solitude over take us. We have an innate desire to be connected to others, to family and to community thinking it will enhance our confidence, well being and balance. Yet when our connection to self, family, community or society vanishes a strong sense emptiness sets in. Without connection our self-confidence dwindles, fears increase, negative thoughts surge and anxiety surfaces which leads to serious self-worth issues. Once we become conscious of the emptiness emerges, a strong powerful need to seek a replacement for our lost connections erupts, no matter what it is.
At that point, we will attach to anything, good or bad, human or non-human, to fill that empty space. A bad connection is better than not having a connection at all. Research has shown that the majority of people don't like to be will ourselves, alone. One of the things that is commonly sought to fill emptiness is an attachment or connection to a substance or inappropriate relationships. We seek other replacements such as a behaviors, emotions, objects or thoughts.
The Result of Emptiness
An initial outgrowth when emptiness is felt is disconnection anxiety. Disconnection anxiety is a term used to describe intense painful feelings due to a lack of connect with self, with family, community or being a value to society. The more losses we experience the more disconnection anxiety becomes increasingly prevalent. There are specific issues that also arise besides anxiety such as:
+ Tension + Fears
+ Confusion + Feeling less than
+ Surfacing of negative beliefs + Loss of feelings of worth
+ Feeling of a loss of freedom + Feeling a loss of uniqueness
+ Feelings of discomfort + Feeling disconnected from everyone
6 Tips that Tell You, You are Disconnected
If you suspect you may be experiencing an unhealthy level of anxiety or a low sense of self-worth associated with loss of connection then consider the following criteria to determine if you might be vulnerable to form an unhealthy or inappropriate connection.
How significant is your need to be connected to something to have a sense of self-worth? Does you need to fill an emptiness due to a need for external validation? Do you gauge “self-importance” by how many connections you have someone or something even if the connection is harmful? Is the connection you turned to stopping you from doing other things that are healthy? Maybe your priorities have become skewed. Be sure to check where your self-worth is coming from. Self-worth should come from inside yourself, not outside from others.
2. Reward Response
Does being connected to someone or something make you feel better or more in control? Does not being “a part of” make you feel worse? Be aware that you can sense a positive “payoff” even if you are excessively connected to something unhealthily. Do you connect to anything just to feel in control even if you are not? Impulsive connections just to get a reward rush can obscure the activity negative consequences.
3. Can't Let Go of Unhealthy Relationships
Do you find yourself interacting with unhealthy connections just to feel connected? If you feel compelled to always say “I just can't stop,” carving out more and more space in your life for spending more time in a unhealthy connection. The major question becomes, are you spending more time forming an unhealthy relationships? What other important, healthy, fulfilling or meaningful connections are you excluding or diminishing? Check to see if you are lying to yourself about being in an unhealthy relationship more than not.
Do you feel anxious, afraid or excessively worried if you cannot participate in your unhealthy connection or even the thought of not doing it? One way to gauge how important your unhealthy connection is or the degree of toxicity it holds is when you consider doing without it. The higher the level of denial, fear, anxiety or pain you anticipate, the stronger the hold the unhealthy connection has over you and the more you feel a loss of control. The more you stay in denial the more your unhealthy connection becomes.
Has the excessive focus and involvement with your unhealthy connection disrupted your life and relationships, causing interpersonal or personal conflicts over your unhealthy relationships?
Do you often say to yourself “I am determined to invest less of my time in my unhealthy connection” only to turn around, defend it, and then spend more time in it? This is an indication that the unhealthy connection is gaining more power over your time and focus. Your attempt to fill your emptiness may have become toxic. A toxic connection can cause real damage to your self-worth, relationships, and career as well as your physical, emotional and mental health.
1 Major Tip for Change
The solution of avoiding the possibility of seeking a behavior, emotion, object, substance or thought to fill the emptiness is to make sure you have solid connection to yourself. If you solidify your connection with yourself it will reduce the possibility of filling that hole with someone or something that could turn out to be very toxic in the long run.
Try working on identifying all your connections you value and rebuffing losses which have made you feel empty, feel less than, or not good enough in order to counter the effects of situations of loss. Ultimately, you have the power and control to determine what connections are good and healthy for you, and which are just and impulse to plug a feeling of being disconnected or empty. You have the ability to build a community of supportive connections that will add joy, happiness and positive content in the long-term. Being connected to yourself and with others is what allows you to feel valued and fulfilled.
Visit my website or mobile site on your phone (www.drbilltollefson.com) or more information on programs that could help you achieve what you want.
Click here for my free eBook.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Making a positive change inside yourself is the key to manifesting a positive and fulfilling life outside. It is your personal power through knowledge and understanding that shifts your mindset toward a positive self and aids you at achieving what you want out of life. Research has shown that new learning, processing and forming new knowledge keeps your brain young.
Here are some quotes that will strengthen your knowledge and understanding in making a positive change in you and allows you to manifest a new you. If you believe in positiveness of yourself, you no longer need outside validation to feel fulfilled.
“Change comes from being the bishop and architect of your mind.”
“Inconsistent efforts produces inconsistent results. Positive efforts produce positive results.”
“Life changing experiences come from strengthening your connection with yourself.”
“A positive and healthy mind assures a healthy Soul.”
“Whatever you carry inside yourself is manifested on the outside yourself. Be sure you are carrying positiveness”
“To attain a positive life, make sure your mind, heart and intuition are internally connected.”
“Can’t live a positive life with a negative mindset.”
“Change is not possible for someone who is content with pain.”
“Acceptance of self is the main ingredient to a positive life.”
“A positive effect on how you feel and think is directly correlated to the beliefs you have about yourself.”
“An intuitive life is when you do not entertain negative around you.”
“Awareness and knowledge of yourself is the source of empowerment”
“Yesterday was a lesson, today is real and tomorrow may not turn out the way you predict. Live in the moment.”
“Happiness without recognition is a loss of a good experience gone unrecognized.”
“The key to personal success is the acquisition and mastery of positive skills.”
“Positiveness in yourself will flourish if feed it daily.”
“Believe in yourself completely, and take nothing negative from others. If negative is presented then just walk away with pride!”
“Feeling your emotions fully without judgment is a positive personal strength and skill.”
“Negative thoughts clouds your ability to view yourself with positiveness and compassion.”
“Don’t suppress a negative inner voice, rather change its perspective of you.”
“A master teaches, enlightens and empowers from experience. Be your own master.”
“Can’t be everything to everybody, but you can be all you need to yourself.”
“Making a positive change is not finding the part of you, you think you lost. Making a positive change is about creating a new you.”
“Empowerment is not finding the parts of you thought you lost, rather embracing yourself in the moment you found and reconnected with all of you.”
“I can’t change the day but I can certainly change this moment.”
“Being positive, connected and compassionate to yourself is the ultimate expression of love.”
About the Author:
Dr. William Tollefson, Ph.D. is a Certified Master Life, Post-Trauma and Holistic Addiction Recovery Coach who teaches others to accomplish whatever him or her want to do and inspire to complete it.
He has authored of 2 books entitled: Separated From the Light (A Path Back from Psychological Trauma) and his newest Personal Philosophy. Dr. Bill has numerous articles on a variety of topics from making a positive change to healing survivors of childhood and/or adulthood abuse and trauma, which can be found here on the HubPages. Additionally, he is on YouTube, Pinterest and two blogs: Trauma, DID, and Addiction and for Life Coaching.
Please visit his website and accept his gift of his eBook Personal Philosophy.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Are you just existing and not enjoying life? Are you only managing your issues and problems? The mistake about managing your issues problem is it doesn’t always go or workout the way you want. Sometimes or most of the time, you are not really aware of the barriers that are blocking you.
There is a possibility that you are conscious of being inundated by negative beliefs or thoughts. You do not have to live being overwhelmed by negative beliefs or thoughts. There is a way to create a positive pattern of beliefs which result in more encouraging thoughts.
Negative beliefs about yourself formed over time and obsessing on negative thoughts are not helpful, but then you knew that already, didn’t you? In fact, you probably know that your negative beliefs are stopping you from getting what you want. Attempting to ignore negative beliefs or shut them down is counter intuitive. The more you resist a self-limiting or negative belief, actually gives them more power. The more you remind yourself to stop the over thinking or obsessing about them, the more they will be in the forefront of your consciousness. Feelings of anxiety and disappointment will follow because you have failed to stop them. You can’t mentally power your way out of a negative belief or negative thought, because they are a manifestation of a deeper belief. It doesn’t work that way. It will only make it worse.
If you are still reading, then you are wondering what you can do about it. I would like to suggest some tips you could use to calm those beliefs and thoughts.
5 Tips on How to Master Your Mind
1. Focused Interference
Set up a go-to acceptable thought to interfere with the negative belief or thought which will diminish the power of a negative beliefs. Having an alternative good thought to focus on is better than letting your mind wander freely. Why? Because aimless mind wandering is directly associated with weakness. Allowing your mind wander unencumbered is fruitless task. It is better to concentrate on an idea, a song, a book passage, a quote or a specific task. Have something prepared gives you a sense of power. Make a plan to immediately shift when negative beliefs or thoughts pop up.
2. Schedule to Obsess Later
Self-defeating beliefs or negative thoughts are not like an unwanted visitor who comes to your house and you don’t answer the door. They can’t be ignored. Research suggests stopping self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be done by mentally setting up a “designated time period” to obsess. Chose a time later during the day to entertain them. Postponing your obsessing over self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be very productive and less intrusive during your day.
3. Face Your Negative Beliefs and Self-defeating Thoughts
This tip is not for the faint of heart. Face and deal with each self-limiting belief and negative thought. Determine if each is real or if they are an illusion. Research suggests that this process can starve off their power. These shadowy thoughts rarely survive the light of direct examination.
4. Be Mindful
Center your mind in the moment by focusing on your breathing or heartbeat for 4 minutes or more. This will promote mindfulness, compassion, and non-judgment towards the unwanted beliefs or thoughts streaming through your consciousness. Being mindful helps to reduce the influence your unwanted thinking patterns have on you than they have over you.
5. Write It Down
Writing a curative and revealing method of change. Writing them down helps you to get those nagging unwanted negative beliefs and self-defeating thoughts out of your mind and down on paper. This method will quell the repetitive anxieties, fears and worries of what might happen in the future which often accompanies unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts. After you write them down then speak them out loud to yourself. Actually hearing out loud your unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts about yourself really reduces their power. In fact, you will come to realize the falsehood or lack of logic they possess. Once you find out that they are false the more quickly you will stop holding on to them.
You are not powerless. You have the ability to defeat to these self-limiting thoughts by changing your negative beliefs. These tips will allow you to gather up your personal authority and power while cluttering your mind. You will, therefore, be able to command and create a positive mental environment you have always wanted. Believe in your ability, your skills and believe in yourself. Follow the tips and find the one that works best for you. Maybe you will find out that each tip works for you under different situations. This will allow you to be proactive, positive and your true beliefs about yourself. Create new beliefs about yourself, embrace them and manifest them in your life. This will add support and strength as well as bring a new balance to your life.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Many people have been scared emotionally and developed dis-trustfulness toward others. We all have been bullied, harassed, intimidated, and teased or overtly by physical harmed. Prejudice and meanness toward another is prevalent throughout our society and reoccur through all age groups.
It is a normal course over time feel cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt or wronged in a relationship gone wrong. Wanting some type of repayment, get even or revenge is also normal. This process is called resentment.
So let get real about relationships. Are you having relationship difficulties? Do you have difficulty trusting people you are in a relationship with? Do you find yourself unable to emotionally invest in your relationships but you don't know why. There is a possibility that the reason maybe that you have been holding onto resentments from past hurtful relationships for years or maybe even from your childhood that directly impact your ability to invest into relationships.
How resentments affect relationships
What is a resentment?
We all have gone through situations in our lives where we had been taken advantage of, felt cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt, or wronged in some way. One of the most damaging feelings we carry that block our growth and success is resentments. As a human being we hold ill feelings toward other who we felt wronged us even against ourselves. For the most part we are not even aware of the baggage that we carry from our past events.
The definition of a resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or ill thoughts, even an ill wish that are formed from an experienced where we felt wronged. We carry these wrongs subconsciously as a result of life events that are real or imagined. These wrongs are formed as a reaction to a life experience where we have perceived to have wronged someone or self and/or think someone has wronged us in one way or another.
A resentment can cause many intense, reactive emotions such as anger, depression, disappointment, fear, hostility, panic, rage or regret which festers in the subconscious without conscious awareness for which we are not mindful of in the moment. Resentments have a very strong influence on how we relate to ourselves; how we think about others and most of all our behavior. These ill feelings affect the way we allow ourselves to perform in life. Thoughts such as: “I do not deserve anything because of what I have done” or “I am nothing because what was done to me.” This type of thinking eventually becomes a subconscious barrier to our accepting good things and success in our life.
How do we get them?
You get them in experience you have everyday situations. Resentment form from an unusual high emotional attachment and involvement with another person and situation. Situations such as relationship breakups, criticism, infidelity, disconnectedness, deep disappointment with another, divorce, embarrassment, and unrequited love……
Why are resentments so important to how we function in relationships?
Resentment can harm you. Resentment can cause you to disconnect from yourself and turn into self-hate. Resentment takes so much energy subconsciously to hold onto that it depletes your personal energy. On all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Resentment can cause you to not trust others and even yourself. They can cause you to form negative core beliefs and self-limiting thoughts that turn into self-sabotaging behavior.
4 Tips on Removing Resentments
1. Recognize all the wrongs you remember done to you or you feel you have done to yourself and make a list of them.
2. Identify which are the most important or might have greatest impact on you. Rank them in order from most hurtful to least.
3. Evaluate each one to whether they are real or imagined. Over time, much of what you remember diluted in content but fester in emotional intensity.
4. Lastly get honest and ask yourself:
a) What do you perceive is the benefit for to hanging onto each
one of your resentments?
b) What do you want to happen, outcome that you want to before you are willing to let go?
c) What realistically can you do today about each one?
d) Do you accept yourself, and can you forgive (stop holding onto it) yourself and then release (don’t live in the past) old wrongs.
1 Quick Way to Remove Resentments from being a Barrier
Resentments are subconscious baggage that keeps you down without your permission. Resentments are very pervasive and troubling to you. Resentment require a tremendous amount of energy to remain alive.
To make a positive change in your life you have to 1) recognize the baggage that is weighing you down unknowing and 2) that is consuming all your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual energy. You counter it by opening and searching your mind, identifying all your old hurts (major and minor) and putting them in real time but writing them down on paper.
What could be hurting you the most could be beliefs that you have formed about relationships over time that determine how you function in your relationships? You could be unaware of issues like loyalty, trust, and connectedness could be more important than you realize.
I am willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you already have a strong suspicion that you are carrying old unresolved wrongs about relationships. If you said “yes” so much of was stated above is true for you, so you need to begin to free yourself for all your old resentment baggage in order for you to have successful relationships.
So take ownership of yourself by investing in who you are at this moment. Learn about your beliefs you carry about relationships. Remember you can't be affected by something that you are not holding onto. So start to make a positive change by discovery more about your beliefs and resentments you hold onto about relationships.
Please leave a comment and visit my website and click here for free ebook.