A recent research study found that “we'd rather electrocute ourselves than be
alone with our thoughts”.
OMG, I have been writing for years about changing your life through
journaling, mediation (Me Time) or just deep breathing for only 5 to 10 minutes with
yourself a day, without any external distracted or stimulation. I require that each client spend time with themselves without a book, computer,
phone, television, tablet or radio. I asked that they have nothing to stare at or
take away their focus on during that time. The objective was to improve their relationship with themselves, reduce stress and improve brain function.
I cannot tell you how many of my clients cannot or had difficulty
completing this simple task. Even though spending just 5 minutes a day with themselves
has been proven to improve their life and health (mentally, emotionally,
physically, and spiritually) as well as release stresses they were holding onto,
people can’t seem to complete even a few minutes. The excuses I hear from my
clients are “Oh I forgot”, “I am too busy, but I meant to”, “I tried, but just
I couldn't focus”, I couldn't find any time”, or “I get too anxious”.
With those clients that have a history of being bullied, harassed, abused
or traumatized when asked if they did their 5 minutes I am told “I didn't like
the thoughts that went through my head”, “I could not stop my thoughts long
enough to focus just on my breathing as you asked me to do. It felt wrong”,
“While I was doing it a negative thought jump into my head and I could not get
rid of it once I stopped meditating” and “Truthfully I can’t stand to be with
me. I do not think I deserve it”.
The overall underlying messages I get from my clients are basically that
being with their own thoughts or being in their own skin is uncomfortable.
Above all alone or quiet time should be avoided at all cost. When alone most of
them have either a TV running somewhere in the house or music playing to fill
their head with distraction.
The fundamental human
question is have we lost the ability to be alone with our own thoughts?
Proof is in the
Study
I found an article in the Washington Post about a study done
by Timothy Wilson, a psychologist at the University of Virginia and lead author
of the study. This article reported on a study about being alone with your
thoughts vs getting electrocuted, yes you read correctly, electrocuted. The study was simple, all the participants
had to do was enter an empty room, sit down, and think for six to 15 minutes. The
only requirement was that the participants had to be in the room without a
cellphone, a book, or a television screen to stare at. The reporter from the
Washington Post quoted Dr. Wilson as saying “The assignment quickly became too
much for the participants to handle. In fact, even when the individuals were
given time to "prepare" for their time alone — meaning that they were
able to plan what they would think about during their moments of solitude — the
participants still found the task hard to complete.” “People didn't like it
much being alone with themselves and their thoughts."
So the researchers decided to make the study a little
harder. Each participant was given an option of doing something else while in
the room alone, besides just thinking. What the researchers came up with wasn't
exactly pleasant. Instead of just sitting sit and alone, participants were now allowed
to electrocute themselves as many times as they liked with a device containing
a 9 volt battery. Still, for many, such an option wouldn't seem desirable.
But the study found that most participants decided they
would rather shock themselves on an average of seven times during their time in
the room and sit in solitude and think. An interesting facet in this study was
that one male participant in the study “shocked himself 190 times over a period
of 15 minutes” just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts.
My Take on the Study
When reading this article and study I discovered that participants,
both men and women would rather spend their time stimulated by outside stimuli,
even if it was an electrical shock from 9 volt battery, than to spend quiet
time with only their thoughts. Why is that? I believe that most people, when
forced to sit without external stimulation, have thoughts that they cannot accept. We as a
society have been constantly inundated with outside stimulation, good and bad,
for so long that we don’t understand how to just be quiet with our thoughts.
Gone are the days of sitting on the front porch just being.
Other Reasons
1. Time
More and more people do not have
the time to complete even the simplest tasks in a day. You have to clean the
house, care for kids, interact with friends and family, prepare meals, work, etc….
Being busy and fulfilling others expectation has become the standard in most
people’s lives. Everyone races from one task to another without a thought or
hesitation. No wonder stress and stress related illnesses are so rampant and
the number one focus is on performance and not being with self. Life has become
a moving grindstone that you can’t stop.
2. Stimulation
Our society is becoming addicted
to being stimulated all of the time. Many people would rather be stimulated by
drugs, alcohol, and all electronic devices and let’s not forget social media
rather than being with themselves.
Conclusion
This study supports what I been saying in my articles for many years about
thought addiction and the inner critic. More people than we thought have
difficulty with the thoughts that run through their heads. Let’s just simply
get back to basics and improve the relationship with our thoughts, basically ourselves.
With practice the act of spending time with ourselves will becomes easier and
more enjoyable. Make more time in your schedule for you.
(The
study was conducted by Timothy Wilson was published in Science Magazine, 2014)
