Saturday, February 16, 2013

Life Is like a Sport

Sports and life are the same in many ways.

In a sport if you do not feel internally in balance, meaning you have not done everything you can to prepared yourself to do your best then your self esteem, energy, focus and motivation will not be at peak level. You will be off balance. You will not perform to your expectations and doubt in the form of second guessing your ability will enter your mind and the opponent will have the mental edge.

So in life the same holds true. If you have not gained the skills you want and desire to achieve a given goal whether it is in a job, money, relationship or creating a vision, you will not have the confidence to succeed.  Confidence is knowing you are good at a skill. The higher your skill level the greater your confidence.

View life as a game and each aspect of life as a different sport. Like communication is one sport, relationships is another and so on. Recognize the skills you need for each one, find a mentor that can help you gain it and develop discipline by practicing daily, and the result will be increased confidence, focus and motivation. The more time you put into practicing each skill the better you feel about your performance, the great your internal balance will be.

Learn more by going to Dr. Bill's website

Thursday, February 7, 2013

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

If you have ever been in therapy or life coaching you know how important personal boundaries are to have. Many do not understand or how to create boundaries. Unfortunately even when you learn them, putting them into action is another thing.

What are Boundaries?

Simply put, boundaries are like a "job description". With healthy boundaries you can ensure your personal safety and protection when you are with other people. Without boundaries you are vulnerable and unprotected. Others will think that they can do, make you do or say anything whatever to you and you will accept it. 

Basically boundaries are an invisible but a clear line between what you will do or not do, what you will allow and not allow,and what you will accept and not accept. Boundaries convey to others what your limits are. 

Believe it or not other people are happy when they know what your limits are. It helps them to know how to treat you.

6 Types of Boundaries

There are many different types of personal boundaries. Here are just a few:







If you don't have them what does that mean?

Sometimes the lack of boundaries is merely a sign of a deeper problem: confidence, esteem, feeling undeserving and unworthiness.

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

1. How you want to be treated.

Write a list of all the things you will not accept from others or do with as well as for other people in each of the type of boundaries mentioned above.

For example: "I will not accept you using anger toward me when you talk to me."

2. Set a Consequence

When you set a boundary be sure to attach a consequence. 

For example: If you talk to me like that I will walk away." 
Consequences tells other people what you will do if they break your personal boundaries. Be sure if you set up consequences, when they break them you follow through with the consequence.

After Thoughts

To be healthy in mind, body and spirit, you need to have strong positive personal boundaries. Boundaries help you to make positive changes in your life and know what you stand for.

Learn More at Dr. Bill's website 


Story of Life Coaching Success: Guest Blog

I was asked to guest blog and I wanted to write to say what a difference life coaching has made for me and my life.  I have spent all of my adult life in therapy, trying to recover from devastating childhood trauma.  The best I ever got was a temporary false sense of healing that never lasted. With each new therapist I tried, I hoped that “this would be the one” who finally had the key to my freedom.  And after every new therapist, I suffered more devastation when my pain returned even more deeply and intensely than before.  My issues seemed overwhelming and literally terminal to me. 

Then I discovered, quite by accident, Dr. William Tollefson, Life Coach.  Coaching with him I have made a positive change in my life. I discovered what had eluded me for literally decades.  Today, I live in glorious freedom.  Freedom to enjoy each day, make good decisions, have healthy relationships and think clearly for myself.  I am a whole, healthy human being for the first time.  I can say this with full confidence because it has not only lasted, but the authenticity of my healing is apparent to me and to others by my sense of owning myself,  thoughts, body, heart and soul totally like I have never had before.  I know who I am today.  I love myself, care for myself and am capable of loving and healthy relationship with others. 

Life Coaching, Dr. Bill in particular, uses and teaches tangible, real-life exercises and skills that are life changing if you are willing to put in the work.  No more hashing through your past, just powerful emancipating experiences through assignments.  All I had to do was trust the process, complete my assignments and practice my new skills.  If you are ready to do the hard work along with a sincere desire to reach for a better life then life coaching is for you. Discover the barriers that keep you from having the life you desire. If you just feel “stuck” in any area of your life, life coaching is the way because it certainly helped me to recognize the key to my growth. I held the answers to my questions of what I needed to change my life.

What 40 years of therapy couldn't do for me, life coaching with Dr. Bill did!!!! 
Go for it!!!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Acceptance is a Powerful Mindset for Positive Change

Let's look at the definition of acceptance. 

The definition of "accept" from a dictionary states: 

1. to receive willingly; ready for change;

2. to approve or give admittance; 

3. to come to terms with something: to acknowledge a fact or truth and come to terms with it; a situation; 

4. to tolerate something without protesting or attempting to change it.

Different Mindset

Another way to look at acceptance is that acceptance is the opposite of resistance. It is the ability to give in, not create a barrier. Acceptance is not the act of forgiveness. A person can forgive and not accept, or accept and not forgive. Accepting in many ways the belief that something is the fact and cannot be changed, like certain situations, events or people.

After Thoughts

I believe that acceptance is a willful act of opening to your self-truth and move forward in life. Acceptance can be seen as closing a door without resistance or resentment on a situation, event, person or something that cannot be changed and then open a new door and walking through it.

Want to Change?

Make a positive change today with the 30 Day Mind Changing Challenge. Take the Mini Challenge to see if you are ready to change your thoughts.