Thursday, February 7, 2013

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

If you have ever been in therapy or life coaching you know how important personal boundaries are to have. Many do not understand or how to create boundaries. Unfortunately even when you learn them, putting them into action is another thing.

What are Boundaries?

Simply put, boundaries are like a "job description". With healthy boundaries you can ensure your personal safety and protection when you are with other people. Without boundaries you are vulnerable and unprotected. Others will think that they can do, make you do or say anything whatever to you and you will accept it. 

Basically boundaries are an invisible but a clear line between what you will do or not do, what you will allow and not allow,and what you will accept and not accept. Boundaries convey to others what your limits are. 

Believe it or not other people are happy when they know what your limits are. It helps them to know how to treat you.

6 Types of Boundaries

There are many different types of personal boundaries. Here are just a few:







If you don't have them what does that mean?

Sometimes the lack of boundaries is merely a sign of a deeper problem: confidence, esteem, feeling undeserving and unworthiness.

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

1. How you want to be treated.

Write a list of all the things you will not accept from others or do with as well as for other people in each of the type of boundaries mentioned above.

For example: "I will not accept you using anger toward me when you talk to me."

2. Set a Consequence

When you set a boundary be sure to attach a consequence. 

For example: If you talk to me like that I will walk away." 
Consequences tells other people what you will do if they break your personal boundaries. Be sure if you set up consequences, when they break them you follow through with the consequence.

After Thoughts

To be healthy in mind, body and spirit, you need to have strong positive personal boundaries. Boundaries help you to make positive changes in your life and know what you stand for.

Learn More at Dr. Bill's website 



  1. Giving myself permission to set boundaries with self and others is really now a requirement not an option as a part of healthy living

  2. Woundgal - It is so important to start healthy boundaries by giving permission to your self. Many have never been given permission to be healthy and set good boundaries. Thanks for your comment. Dr Bill

  3. Boundaries are parameters with room for adjustments...becareful set them with an open mind and not using old core values. Ignoring one's boundaries will cause many consequences, when I default a boundry my consequence upsets my well-being so I mediate and move forward...once again.

  4. Sharon - Thank you for your comment. Strong boundaries equal strength.


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