Strategies for eliminating an undesirable habit

Seems like breaking an old undesirable habit is insurmountable because once you are comfortable with it, changing or eliminating it can be very frightening and extremely uncomfortable.. The problem with a habit is that the origination of it is probably not known to the person who created it. Therefore the strong need to perform activities or thoughts over and over just seems to come out from nowhere. 

For a long time a habit had a negative connotation and were connected to negative or damaging stuff like addictions. Yet habits can be good, healthy, positive and achievable. Especially since humans are instinctively creators of habit.

What is a habit?

A habit is literally just a thought or action that you practice over and over that eventually become automatic. A habit is those things, actions, emotions or thoughts that you do without thinking. Habits can be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.

I‘m a big fan of paying attention to habits, both habitual behavior and thoughts. Some habits are intentional to live smoother and happier in life. However some habits aren't even in your consciousness. Most of your habits are generated from your subconscious mind.

Most limiting behaviors or self-defeating thoughts that keep you miserable about yourself and life are generated by one or more of your subconscious habits. Thoughts drive decisions and decisions strongly influence behaviors, emotions and reactions. Practice an action, a thought or feeling often enough and it will become a habit. Over time it will become embedded in the subconscious and rule your life.

For instance, if you constantly entertain anxious and worry thoughts about not having enough happiness, you'll create behaviors based on those fears. You'll push people away that could bring you happiness and draw people toward you that criticize or judge you.

Let me ask you three questions about your habits

Habits can interfere with you gaining more success, inner peace or happiness. So take a moment right now and answer these questions honestly for the benefit of yourself.

        1. Which of your habits suck up your time and energy?
        2. Which habits do you have that do not serve you positively?

        3. Why do I continue a habit that affects your life in negative
             way and does not serve you emotionally, mentally or 
             physically?

 If you didn't answer the questions, you probably have a habit of procrastination and you put off change or are afraid to form powerful new habits.

Here are some habits which can stop you from achieving what you want:

Checking email too many times a day

Watching almost every video or reading every post sent to you on Facebook

Reading or searching for articles that you feel would answer your problems, but don’t

Ruminating over and over about what you could have done in the past

Procrastinating

Constantly focusing on disappointments

Mentally attempting to fix what went wrong in your past

Responding to anxious or stressful situations that have not happened yet

Thinking why you can't get what you want all the time

Worrying about the wrongs done to you or what happened to you in your past

Mindset Shift

Now shift your mindset and become more mindful of your habits. 

Think of habits you can create that would serve you now and you could start today. There is no time like the moment to start to change old habits into new healthy habits. Stop spending your time ruminating about "what you can’t do" and start putting new positive behaviors, emotions or thoughts into action. The more you put something into action the greater skill level you acquire, the more confidence you will attain.

One benefit of creating a positive habit is that habituation takes less energy and can be embedded into your subconscious mind in 7 days. At first you have to be very conscious of your new action and doing the new thing everyday. Repetition is the key to to habit formation.

Here are some healthy habit strategies that would support development:

Take a daily 20-minute walks to clear my head before practicing the new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Believe that you have the answers for you in you

Be mindful of the moment and enjoy 

Meditate for 5 minutes a day to reduce the chatter in your head and practicing purposeful breathing sometime after you have practiced your new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Set intentions for your day within the first hour you're awake

Exercise or go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Create specific goals in all areas of your life. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable and time lined

Create and write out a weekly schedule to keep you on track and accountable

Listening to a calming or uplifting music CD to reduce the judgmental sounds of your inner critic and it negative influences it generally has on you

Limit your time on electronic devices during the day

Be good to yourself by rewarding yourself once a day even if it is only a positive thought about you

Pat yourself on the back for just the effort you are taking in the right direction.

Notice and acknowledge what you are doing right

Celebrate all successes not matter how small the changes

Commit to doing whatever it takes to do the task in the first 30 days

Also in forming and installing your new habits you can break them down into small or big habits. Your mindset and personal beliefs will dictate what is best for you in the moment. 

I like to create small and big habits when I want to increase my success of intended change. Why? The small habits keep me grounded by practicing over and over again on a daily basis in 30 days. The small habits create change quickly and are easy to accomplish. For instance forming a habit of walking I hour every day. First start with beginning of walking, say five minutes. If you focus on walking a full hour in the beginning it can be overwhelming. Walk for five minutes for a couple of weeks until it becomes firmly installed as a behavior. In the next couple of weeks expand to 30 minutes. Finally lengthen your walk to one hour. The last step should be no problem because the walk has become a habit. Start small and build into a bigger habit.

The big habits help me to have something to shoot for going forward in a longer time period. The big habits create change slower but tend to be more motivating. Big habits are powerful for me because they enhance term committed to producing a new habit. This strategy isn't ideal for everyone.

Understand that initially installing a habit is not energy free. It will cost you. To form a new habit will cost you awareness, commitment, effort, responsibility.

I have discovered the more I practice anything the quicker I achieve and the faster adapt the action as mine. Another benefit is through repetitiveness the more confidence I develop with that activity. The other thing that is important is not to expect to do the habit perfectly. Expecting perfection is the killer of creating, developing or forming anything new. Expecting perfection will cause you to abandon your efforts quicker than anything else you will encounter.

Finally ask yourself:

What in your life gives you extreme joy and fulfillment?

What healthy habit would you replace an old one with that would radically change my life?

Short-term program to help you form healthy habits quicker

You have probably heard that it takes 30 days of repeating an action or thought before it becomes a habit. Well that is the truth. You can change way you think and behave in just one month. Free you need to know the secret. The secret is that all your thoughts and actions are influenced and generated by how your mind is coded. The 30 Day Life Changing Challenge can unlock your code and help you to achieve a whole new way of thinking and behaving. Change your code in just one month and be a new you.

Go to www.MakingaPositiveChange.com and click on the 30 Day Challenge and find out what the program can do for you. FREE Mini Challenge 

Mind Code Determines Thoughts

The human brain is a very powerful organ. It is important to know that the brain runs on mind code. The brain accumulates code from every experience we experience and embeds it in the subconscious. 
The mind can only respond to the code that is written within it. 

How does the code work?

The code forms our core beliefs. The core beliefs feeds content to our inner voice. The content within the inner voice then forms the way we think. At that point our thoughts then determine how we will feel and behave. 

How do you change?

Change the code therefore change your mind's reaction and response. It is possible to change your code and live a better life.

There is a way you can change your mind code in one month. Click on this link

http://www.makingapositivechange.com/  
and checkout 30 Day Challenge. This challenge will help you to change your mind code.

                                          

6 Tips on How to Reverse Your Inner Critic

Ever wondered why the voice in your head doesn't like you, doesn't support you or doesn't trust you? Do you want to live fighting yourself?

You are not alone. Everyone experiences inner self-critical statements.

I was always thought that those people who put themselves down if something was not going right was normal. Maybe I was wrong. For so long growing up I'd beat myself up emotionally and rip myself into little pieces even when things were going right. Over time, I learned that this self-flagellation never did anything good for me, except spiral me down into a darker place, making it harder to crawl back up to the surface each time it occurred.

A side effect of listening to my inner critic in my head was an erosion of my self-confidence, self-esteem self value and even my worth.  The more I listened the more I in suffered and it gained power over the way I thought, felt and reacted toward myself, others and possible events.

Throughout my lifetime I was criticized a lot from family members and others I had an emotional attachment with. What I did not understand was that due to the close emotional attachment I had to others allowed the criticisms to bypass my perceptual filters and embedded themselves into my subconscious as mind code.  These criticisms from others became the content that formed my core beliefs about myself. Then the core beliefs generated a critical voice in my mind that torture me daily with statements like “you’re not good enough”, “you don’t deserve to be loved” and “you will always fail at what you do”.

As a result growing up I have always subjected myself to self-doubts, fears and negative messages that came front and center when I thought of engaging into something or in a relationship with someone.

Sometimes I was able ignored those messages and I could accomplish things in my life. During those times I marveled at my ability to quiet my critical voice. But the majority of the times I couldn't These messages evoked very strong emotion in me and governed my responses. Now that I have grown older I have a term for those self-messages and that is my inner critic.

Now after years of working on myself and helping others as a therapist and coach I respect my inner critic. I grew to understand that everyone has an inner critic and experience critical thoughts. Whew!! I am not alone or not defective. My inner critic is that inner judgmental part that carries statements that were said to me during my life or beliefs I form about myself due to life events experiences I went through that evoked a strong emotion in relationship to my character or performance. I found out the reason these inner statements or beliefs stuck to me was that I emotionally identified with them. Also grew to know that “you” statement in time became “I” statements. For example, “you are not smart enough”, over time became “I am not smart enough”.

Through my years of coaching I found that my clients really identified the term inner critic. In asking them to write down all the statements their inner critic said to them I got a litany of nasty comments which they heard in their heads.

Here are a few more inner critical statements you might identify with:

You shouldn't do that.

You're unworthy.

You always do things wrong.

You're a loser.

You’re failure.

No one will ever love you.

You're fat.

You're ugly.

You will never amount to nothing.

I recently watched a story on Joe Torre. I did not know but he grew up in an abusive home due to an abusive father who criticized him all the time. Even with his dark past he worked hard in sports and achieved many awards. He attained MVP as a player 8 times, 9 times all star player and one MVP batting title. Joe went on to become one of the most successful baseball coaches in the history of baseball winning 2326, and won 4 World Series as a coach. He stated that the most important aspect of coaching was to make sure his players respected him.

So even with elements of criticism directed toward you from an early beginning there is the power of self that can triumph over those criticisms and you can move toward a position of positiveness. You do not have to live with the negative content of your inner critic. Change can be had. You have the power to construct new content and thoughts, practice them and most of all connect a positive emotion to your new thoughts, if you acquire the right tool or learning to accomplish this objective. Make them your own, feel them and then live them as your truth.

In other words, if you change inner critic thoughts, by recognizing and denying the old self-messages and beliefs, your inner code will change, success can be yours and then you will move forward with inner support. What I found out was that the act of talking to yourself is normal but it was the nature of the content which was not. Inner talk should be more lighthearted, positive and supportive so a positive mental environment can be created that allows you an incredible amount of inner breathing room for you to be more flexible with yourself, grow, expand, and explore all of life’s possibilities.

Your inner critic can be so harsh and self-defeating toward you in your head and sometimes you express those statements out loud. I personally know that it was hard for friends to watch me hurt yourself with my words. Now I have learned to love, motivate and support myself with my words rather than hurt myself. 

Do you want to gain control of that voice in your head?

Well here are 6 tips on how you can calm your inner voice and change the content to become more fulfilled. 

1. Get to know your inner voice, its tone, and its intentions.

Activate your observer self and listen to what it is saying in your head. Listen from a third party perspective as if you are hearing it on the radio and write each statement down. Recognize that each are old statements repeating the criticism that was directed toward you as you grew up by people in your life, and society (media). The most impact came from your family who you grew up around. Some of the criticism was to ensure your emotional and physical safety or make you a “strong person”. Understand your mind does not have or express feelings, it just records the words and repeats them through your inner critic. Replay is always automatic.

2. Go deep in your mind and take time to evaluate your inner critic statements; go deep inside.

Explore each critical statement and determine if you truly deserve the negativism, doubt, self-limiting thoughts or criticism. Let your mind help you validate whether these self-critical statement are true or false. Also note next to each critical statement who in your life said it and the situation or event where it occurred. The more you know the less power the critical statement has. Find proof to why the criticism is wrong or not true. When you find it, you will create a crack in that thought pattern and dissipate its power and influence. But that alone is not enough to break it open and get it to release.

3. Make a realistic plan to correct your inner critic.

List three things you can do to raise your self-worth.

These can be as simple as creating new statements…“I deserve to love me” or “I deserve to look at myself in the mirror and identify things I like about myself”. Once you have created new statements then repeat them to yourself ten times a day for 90 days.

The trick to success in your plan is that these 3 things need to be specific, measurable and feel doable to you. Once you develop your plans, it becomes your action plan and you need to give it life.

4. Stick with the program.

Accept and feel a deep obligation for your action plan. Follow through daily for 90 days. You need to now accept that you are in charge of how you think about yourself, believe about yourself, what you are capable of and how you perform.  

I find that I get the best results and most success when I keep track of it. Track yourself through keeping a journal that way you will be able to see your commitment day by day for those 90 days. Keeping track of what I do daily helps me to recognize when I fall off and motivates me to get back on track.

5. Hang out with people who think positive and supportive and make you feel comfortable.

These are the people who see and experience you in a positive light, support you and as you really are. Let people who love you reflect the real you back to you. Start hanging out with people who could use support and reflect back to them how you see them in a positive light. Practice the balance of receiving and giving positive statements.

6. Realize that you have the power to command respect from your inner critic.

Give yourself permission. Understand that your inner critic has been attempting in protecting you be it through doubt, negative and critical statements. But don't let inner critic influence your life or direct your thoughts. Earn respect from your mind by forming your own thoughts and determining your own mindset. You have that power. Once you decide this, the rest is pretty much practice and more patience.

After Thoughts

If you follow the 6 tips above you can reverse your inner critic's content, alter the way inner critic talks to you, gain more control, and produce more positive thoughts. If you follow through your work will translate into a happier and more successful life.

You can change your mind code from self-limiting and self-defeating to positive and self-supporting with the 30 Day Challenge in one month. Start today!

Please leave a comment and share your ideas about this blog.

And don't forget to keep up on all my blogs and self-improvement tips.
http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/ for Life Coaching

 and

http://www.williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/ for Trauma Issues.

                               

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4 Ways to Cope with Loss during the Holidays

“Grief, though a period of sadness and emptiness,
is meant to be a spiritual celebration.”

~ Dr. Bill

The days between Thanksgiving to New Year‘s day can be very trying. Known as a time to be with family and love ones, often this period can be triggering for many of us and cause us to remember love ones we have lost. The holiday season may significantly worsen our emotional condition.  During this season of happy holidays, people who are grieving often think that celebrating after such a loss does not seem right and may seem disrespectful to the one who left us. But if you really think about it, in this season of gratitude, not celebrating would be a dishonor to a loved one’s memory.

We need a holiday mind shift. Maybe it should be a time to celebrate what we had with him and her. Remember the good times, fun and laughter we had, rather than focusing on what we don’t have now. Consider that you would be showing the ones who have left how much their time here was memorable and worthwhile. Bestow honor by opening up spiritually to the memories of them. Don’t reject or hide from remembrances because you are afraid that such memories could bring on pain.

Instead, celebrate the memory of your loved ones by displaying their love through the gathering of your family, passing on his or her legacy of love through stories and holiday traditions. Demonstrate remembrance by decorating the inside and outside of the house so the brightness of the Christmas lights shine into the heavens and say, “See! You are remembered! You are loved.”

There is no "right" way or wrong way to cope with loss during the holiday season, but there are some things you can do to make the process more manageable. Here are 4 ways to cope.

1.      Be Open to Communicate:

Don’t hide from communicating about the person. He or she is still alive in the heart. Give yourself permission to communicate feelings and celebrate his or her life. That will give others the feeling of permission that they can share, as well.

2.      Create a new tradition:  

Start a new tradition of remembrances by writing down some of his or her quotes, wisdom, good qualities, stories, significant life experiences and place them in a box or stocking. This is wonderful way to celebrate the person.  It is also a way to "generate conversation in a comfortable way." 

3.      Pass on their Spirit:

Consider making a donation to honor your loved one, or buying a gift and giving it to someone else in his or her name.

4.      Take Care of Yourself:

Lastly, do some self-care and nurturing to yourself. This time of year can really deplete your energy. Be sure to exercise, sleep well, limit your alcohol intake and get plenty of sleep.

Consider this … Our loved ones would never want to see us suffering because they are no longer with us. Mourning and grief are a natural part of losing someone dear, but look at the situation from their perspective … they would much rather see you smiling with memories of the happy times you shared while they were among living.

And don’t forget to keep up on all my blogs and self-improvement tips. http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/ for Life Coaching and http://www.williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/ for Trauma Issues.

Find out about making a positive change to yourself or your life at http://www.makingapositivechange.com/

Learn about the 30 Day Challenge signature program at http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ to help you change how you act, feel, think and react then this is the program for you.

Please be sure to share this blog with your friend and family. Love to know your comments and answer any questions. Write me at drbilllifecoach@gamil.com 

Please be sure to share or pass on to others you think it will benefit.

Changing Lives One Person at a Time

Let me get right to the point…. 

I have been coaching a man who has lost everything. He lost his business, his marriage, his kids, his home, friends, support and himself. He was a successful businessman with his own company, wealthy and happy in his marriage. Then suddenly it was all gone. Why?

With the death of his father he started to experiencing negative self-limiting and self-defeating thoughts. No matter what he tried he could not turn off his negative thoughts. He kept hearing his father's voice from his childhood stating "you're stupid, you're a loser, you can't make a good decision, you're not good enough, you don't deserve happiness or success and you will always be a failure in everything you do." He surrendered to his intrusive and disturbing thoughts and he wrote himself off. He began to feel like a stranger even to himself . He even felt very uncomfortable in his own skin. He ran out of energy to fight for himself so he finally gave up.

His mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health declined rapidly.  He was plagued with anxiety, fear, worry and constant negative thoughts. A psychiatrist put him on benzodiazepines and lost all hope.

Change

Then he learned something that changed his life forever. He was shown a secret “method” that gave him the key that unlock his mind code. He discovered that his father's constant criticism and berating was accepted by him and converted into beliefs that he had about himself. It was these beliefs that were causing causing all his problems.

Secret

The secret is called “30 Day Mind Challenge”, and with the program he was able to unlock the negative code that was limiting him. With just shifting his code to positive, he was able to achieve a new found confidence and regain happiness, success and unbound energy along with good health. With help of an old friend he open his business and is on his way to flourishing again. 

How Does that Happen?

See at birth and as we grow up, we all become 'coded'. Our "mind code" forms with every life event we experience - when triggered – subconsciously our code surfaces into our conscious. Our mind code then influences how we act, think, and feel. Our code can limit our efforts to be happy and succeed.

When something happens in life our mind code already knows the answer and therefore dictates your reactions.  All you need to do is to 'decode' these messages that don't serve. Some of our coded messages embedded in our subconscious are self-limiting and self-defeating. The positive thing is that you can change and shift negative coded messages to positive if given the tools to do so. 

Understand if you feel you are too limited, defective, not good enough or damaged to achieve what you want in life, you are NOT alone. It is possible to change. 

Understand there is nothing wrong with your “hardware”. It is your “software” that is faulty and caused you to be negatively coded. It is not your fault. Re-code your software and change your life.

Find out more about the 30 Day Challenge signature program at http://www.makingapositivechange.com/  

                                           

Please be sure to share this blog with your friend and family. 
Love to know your comments and answer any questions.
Write me at drbilllifecoach@gamil.com 

1 Step to Enlightenment

One of my biggest days of my life was the birth of my grandson. To be blessed with a new gift like that filled my heart and soul and everything I have learned since then has brought me more enlightenment and wisdom.

Well today I have another gift that I want to pass on to you the reader. To begin a new path to happiness and freedom you have to gain more wisdom. Wisdom becomes fruitful when you put it into action. Action begets success and freedom. 

The result all of this is a whole new mindset.

With that I present you a new feature on this blog site. If you glance to the right of this blog you will see the new feature which is an audio player titled Radio Shows with Dr. Bill.

I have selected the most useful and important shows for the issues covered in this blog to help you gain enlightenment and wisdom. With all this wisdom you get from the shows will get you started down a new path toward shifting to a healthy mindset.

Please enjoy all the radio shows that will raise your enlightenment! Take another step and subscribe to this Blog and follow me as I write even more enlightenment with each blog I post.

Control and Command: Shift to a New Mindset

For over a year now, I have been asked by my clients to write an article on the difference between control and command. Control and command are important because this is the distinction between whether you respond to your life because of being forced, or you choose to exercise respect and empowerment.

"I should have been able to control it." I have heard this statement throughout 40-plus years as a therapist as well as a life and addiction recovery coach. But I must ask you, can you control anything in life? The answer is a resounding: No! When reality sets in, you cannot control how you think or feel … you can’t control other people or the events in your life. The concept of control is actually an illusion.

Let me explain by starting at the beginning. Everyone has been told since childhood that we can control anything if we are good enough and focus hard enough. People would tell you, "just stop doing it" or "just control it." I always ask the question "where did you get that?" The response is generally, "I was taught that. If I can't control it, then I am weak person."

The fact is, the more we think about controlling a thought, feeling, behavior, another person or situation, the more unable we are to exercise any control at all. Can we control our physical organs, such as stopping our breathing, heart or thinking? No. Control is based on a false expectation, achieved through power and manipulation. The more we try control a thought, feeling, or behavior, the more it comes to the foreground. Why?

3 Stages of Control

Thinking of achieving control over someone or something? Gaining control is not possible, in fact it is an illusion. You cannot control yourself other or life situations. 

There are 3 stages that you would go through when attempting to control someone or something. Here are three stages of trying to control something. 

The first stage is the plain "control" stage. In this stage control is the act of forcing something against its will. When we want to control something (ourselves, another person, a situation, or a feeling), we work and work, but in time we find that we just cannot control. It reminds me of a person trying to be perfect. Nobody's perfect, at least I haven't met that person yet.

Our failure to control can really frustrate us, so we think "I have to work harder at it." This forces us into the second stage which is "over control." In this stage we focus harder and work more on controlling the subject, situation or person by using everything in our arsenal. Again we are not able to achieve our "unreasonable" expectation.

Not achieving control in the second stage drives us into the third stage of control which is "out of control." We wildly do unreasonable behaviors or say things which are uncharacteristic of ourselves. Then the realization finally hits, we cannot control anything even ourselves. At that point hopefully, we stop, yet that is not always true. Disappointment, fear, rejection or failure sets in hard and we go into a downward spiral.

 So What is Possible?

What is possible is a skill called "command." Is there a difference? Yes. Commanding can be learned and can be achieved. Command is not based on power or manipulation. Commanding is based on respect. Command can be a learned skill and mastery can be achieved through practice. Really now … can you stop thinking? No, but you can learn how to shift your thoughts from negative to positive. The more you practice this skill, the better you will become at it. 

Will it ever be perfect? No, but who would want to be perfect. I tell people all the time: if you are perfect then that means that you never have to get out of bed. You would know everything, have done everything, seen everything, and felt everything in life, so there is no challenge or reason to function in life.

There is a law of command. The law of command is based on earning respect. You respect certain positions in life only because the person in the position has earned it, like a parent, the President, a religious leader, etc. (you get the idea). You may not like or agree with everything they do in that position, but you do respect them for earning the position. Another example you should be able to relate to is a five star General in any military service. A service person may dislike the General, may not agree with their decisions or orders, but they will follow the General's orders because they respect the rank. The General did not get the rank automatically and was not born into the rank. The General worked very hard from the bottom as an enlisted person, studied and trained for many years and weathered all the internal politics to achieve that rank. Therefore, the soldiers follow the general’s orders into battle at possible peril of their own lives out of respect of the rank that the General holds.

After Thoughts

The same is true when you apply this idea to yourself. You should have respect for yourself. How is that achieved? Plain and simple … you earned it. How? You earn yourself respect in two ways.

First way is by being conscious that your word matches your deeds. The second way is by acquiring a skill and achieve a high level of performance through practice. Over time, you will see that your need to control an issue, situation or person will decrease. You will also see a corresponding increase in the ability to competently respect yourself therefore gain command of previously unruly areas of your life.

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Another Young Entertainer Lost to Drug Overdose: Cory Monteith

The world has lost another young talented, creative and admired entertainer to drugs. Cory joins the ranks of other celebrity entertainers who accidently lost their lives to drugs use such as singer Janis Joplin, guitar player Jimmy Hendrix, Blues Brother John Beluchi, Rocker Jim Morrison, Actress Judy Garland and of course the King Elvis Presley.  All of their lives were cut short by overdoses to drugs. Not only celebrities but over 100 people die of drug overdose in America every day.

What was missed?

Even though entertainers look self assured, confident and strong on stage, in private there is a very different story being played out in their head. Thoughts of insecurity, fear, self loathing, self escape and judgment of weakness and inadequacy fill their minds and consume their thoughts … even though praise is coming toward them constantly. Like thoughts of:

Did I perform well enough?

I don’t deserve this much praise.

I don’t deserve this much money.

I am not that talented.

Will they stop loving me?

If my fans only knew the real me, they would leave me.

Entertainers in the constant spotlight turn to drugs to gain a false sense of confidence, numb emotional pain, eliminate fear, and reduce thoughts of rejection. The drug is used to turn off the critical thoughts and associated emotions. The insecure performer actually believes:

This drug will help me perform better.

I am more confident and entertaining with this drug.

This drug helps me focus.

Looping self-limiting thoughts are invisible to an adoring crowd and unseen behind a charismatic smile. Could something have been missed that might have reduced the chance of a tragic ending to this actor’s life?

Cory, like many others, went through addiction treatment and rehab. Not once, but many times. Is it that treatment centers are not effective enough? No, they are very professional and effective. Then what? One thing that addiction treatment does not address is an addict’s thought addiction. Thought addiction is not on the addiction professional’s radar right now. Thought addiction is a hidden addiction that affects many American’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Why? Think about it … Every addiction starts with a thought! That is a fact. A person will turn to drugs because of overwhelming self limiting looping thoughts.

What is Thought Addiction (TA)?

The definition of thought addiction is the development of an intrusive habitual pattern to one thought or set of thoughts. Thought addiction is the returning to a thought that does not serve the individual and has negative and damaging results to one’s life. A thought addiction depletes every system of the human body. TA is repetitive and unhealthy thoughts that deplete emotional, mental, physical and spiritual energy, leaving the person empty and second guessing themselves endlessly. Thought addiction follows the same rules and progression of all other addictions. Individuals will expand into other addictions like substances, food, exercise, emotion or behavior in an attempt to silence a thought addiction or unhealthy thought looping pattern.

Forms of addicting thoughts are:

• Anxious
• Compulsive
• Depressive
• Fearful
• Obsessive
• Negative
• Ruminating
• Self demeaning
• Self defeating
• Self limiting
• Sexual
• Suicidal
• Unwanted
• Worrisome

Relapse?

Another critical time is post treatment. If the original thought that initiated the addiction is not dealt with, once the person becomes sober, the original thought surfaces again and will be a major driver and red flag of relapse. For an addict whose thought addiction is not addressed and treated effectively, relapse is inevitable.

What to do differently?

The addiction treatment and recovery community needs to pull back the curtain and look at the real culprit … the thought that started it all. These professionals need to expand their old treatment and recovery thinking and allow a new method in.  The most dangerous time is not in treatment or rehab, but it is when the newly recovering person comes out and is left alone with his or her own thoughts again. The 12 step principles say an addict in sobriety needs to change old friends, places and life style to eliminate triggers that encouraged them to use, but the silent driver has always been – the thought.

For more information on Thought Addiction: http://drbilltollefson.hubpages.com/hub/Addiction_Begins_with_a_Thought

Take Thought Addiction Assessment:

http://drbilltollefson.hubpages.com/hub/Am_I_Addicted 

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3 Ways to Benefit from Your Mistakes

Have you ever made a mistake? Everyone has. Yet after making mistakes you become so frightened or apprehensive to make another mistake for fear of what might happen? It also causes you to second guess everything you do after that point.

Society has become so performance orientated and focused that many shy away from risking new things or learning new skills and causes you to stay with only familiar and comfortable things even it they are bad for you. You may become so afraid of making a mistake that you just don't venture into new experiences and keep you in a rut. In fact you may isolate yourself from experiences to stop any future possibility of making another mistake.

   

Is not getting involved with life a mistake also?

The more afraid you are of making a mistake, the less willing you will be of taking a risk, the more restricted you are, you become rigid and end up stuck. You actually create a pattern that can cause you to be less involved with other people, situations and you learn less. If you shy away from trying new things or not taking risks, you deprive your Soul of the nutriments needed to grow and thrive.

Could your mistakes be positive?

Making a mistake is normal part of life. No one is perfect. Making a mistake can be very positive. If you don’t make a mistake when you attempt something new then how do you learn. Each different experience, task or situation should bring something beneficial to your character.

Remember all the times growing up when you were so afraid to join in playing with others kids for fear of being embarrassed, ridiculed for not performing as well as others or just plain not being good enough. Look at all you lost out on. Don’t let that happen now. Accept and embrace your mistakes for what they can bring to your life.

Therefore don't let past incidents of mistakes determine who you are as a person or a barrier to your future. We all make mistakes. Without mistakes there is no way you can learn or make positive changes. If you are always right and do everything perfectly then you have no reason to get out of bed. Isn't that sad? So you cannot allow mistakes to define who you are.

3 Ways to Benefit from a Mistake

Remind yourself every time you make a mistake to ask yourself these three questions.

  1. What did I learn?

       2. What can I do differently next time?

       3. How did this make me better as a person?

Once you get your answers you will see your lessons clearly and your Soul will have fuel to keep on growing.

Visit my website and learn more about making a positive change in you and your life

Imagination is the Power to Success

"All change stems from our imagination. Imagination is capable of turning mind energy into a vision and success."  --Dr Bill

“How do I change my life in a positive way?”

Simply use your imagination. Imagination is one of our most powerful tools available to you.  Imagination is the one thing within you, as a human, that gives you the amazing ability to "create" anything you want.  Think about it.  Your imagination can truly assist us in creating something new? Everything that you has been created in the world has stemmed from the seed in someone's imagination. Everyone has this ability.

How to Change?

In order to access our imagination we have to spend time with our self. 

Find a peaceful environment, get quiet, be calm, and ask for guidance with or inspiration about a specific desire or idea.

  

Focus on the desire or idea and say it aloud, then remain quiet and calm...and notice the flow of thoughts that come to mind.  

Listen and hear the answers in your head.  

Write down all the answers. Do not discount or rationalize any thoughts that come to mind. 

Then, rest in the faith that our imagination generates additional ideas and solutions. Know that imagination possesses all the energy needed to continue generating more ideas and solutions on the way to accomplishing success in our lives. 

Believe, have faith and harvest the rewards. The more you practice the easier success will come and our imagination will open to its abundance.

Visit Dr Bill Tollefson's website 

Over Thinking can Result in a Thought Addiction

The importance of the concept of having an addiction to a thought has been increasing. Thought addiction is a fact. The truth is that the power behind all addictions is a thought.

Definition of Thought Addiction (TA)

Simply, thought addiction is when a thought or set of thoughts get stuck in your head and those thoughts begin to create a thought loop. As the thoughts loop, the you become more and more focused on the thought which increasingly becomes overwhelming and you are less able to turn off your focus on that specific thought. 

As the power of the looping thought(s) increases, you feel as though you have lost control of your mind as well as your thoughts. Once out of control, the thought ends up consuming your energy and depletes your ability to perform successfully in your every day life. At that point, the thought takes over your emotional and mental life therefore you become addicted. 

Once that thought is no longer controllable you may act out in different ways in an attempt to turn the thought off. Some people use methods such as self-medicating it, fighting it or use a substance to avoid thinking that specific thought(s). 

Many people with a thought addiction state “I can’t get this thought out of my head and it is driving me crazy”. 

Concept of Thought Addiction

What is so important to take away from the concept of addiction to a thought is that a thought addiction not a mental disorder or a lack of self control problem. Thought addiction is a skill deficiency.

Generally these types of thoughts are core beliefs from your past or negative statements expressed to you from someone else. These types of thoughts are triggered by a present event, statement or surfacing emotion. Once the thought is triggered it then surfaces unconsciously into your mind. The most common example of this type of thought is “I am not good enough”.

Cognitive therapists have long known and it has been proven that a thought precedes an emotion and a behavior. But there is more to it. Think of a triangle. Yes a emotion does not occur without a thought. An emotion generated a behavior. But also a behavior drives the development of a thought. Each one is connected to the other. Note that the triangle or everything starts with a thought first.

Form of Thought that can become Addictive

But what is also true is that “every addiction begins and ends with a thought”. 

Below is a few forms of thoughts which can result in chronic looping or can become addicting are:

·        body image thoughts
·        compulsive thoughts

·        depressive thoughts
·        diluted thoughts

·        thoughts of doubt

·        thoughts of fear

·        worry

·        negative thoughts

·        obsessive thoughts

·        lack of worth thoughts

·        superstitious thoughts

·        suicidal thoughts

·        weight thoughts

So it is important to understand that the way to stop an addiction to a thought or unceasing a looping thought is through gaining a skill and then practicing that skill. 

You have the power to command and reset your thoughts. All you need to acquire the right skills and have the willingness to consistently practice the skills to effect positive change.

Need Dr Bill’s Coaching Help?

Dr. Bill can help you work on life challenges such as personal growth, emotional well-being, addiction recovery and relationships. 
Write to him and describe your situation: TollefsonEnterprises@gmail.com 

Dr Bill Tollefson is a certified master life, post trauma and holistic addiction recovery coach, speaker, radio personality and author. Dr. Bill wrote 2 books: Separated From the Light as well as Personal Philosophy Method and is working on his 3rd book 

Visit him at drbilltollefson.com

Other Articles on Subject:

http://drbilltollefson.hubpages.com/hub/unhealthythoughts

http://drbilltollefson.hubpages.com/hub/Addiction_Begins_with_a_Thought

http://drbilltollefson.hubpages.com/hub/Unblocking_Addictive_Thought_Patterns