9 Tips You are a Perfectionist

Misconception

The biggest misconception in life is that “all good things come from being perfect.” Nothing in life could be further from the truth. The truth is that perfection is the major killer of joy, creativity, happiness and also success. Yet there are millions of people who are driven every day to attain what is not possible … perfection.

Actually perfection is the cause of deep disappointment.

If you always strive to be perfect … reaching for the golden ring of life … you will only find nothing but emptiness, dissatisfaction and loneliness. At the end of your effort there is only a rusted old hoop. 

One of the most creative painters of modern time, Salvador Dali said, “Have no fear of perfection – you'll never reach it.” 

Over the years, I have noticed that the issue of perfectionism is huge with a lot of the people I have talked with. When I ask the question, “Are you a perfectionist?” 95% of the people answered with a resounding, “No!” After a few follow up questions from me, 80% of those 95% say, “Well, I guess I am.”  If you think about it, you will see that achievement, promotion, raises, and advancements are all based on how well you perform not whether you are a perfectionist.

By definition, a perfectionist is a person who strains compulsively and unceasingly toward an unattainable goal (or goals). The measuring stick for their self-worth is marked off by periods of productivity and feats of accomplishment. When you pressure yourself to achieve unrealistic goals, you predictably set yourself up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to have the voice of a mean and judgmental critic in their head. It speaks up every time they fail to attain their own (or someone else’s) extremely unrealistic expectation.

So, how do you know if you are a perfectionist? You may be a perfectionist if you try to live by extremely unattainable standards, and you feel like a failure when you fail to meet them. You may be a perfectionist if your core beliefs about yourself tend to be punitive, rejecting, and downright nasty. You may be a perfectionist if the view you have of yourself tends to be tremendously negative. 

9 TIPS You Might Be a Perfectionist If:

1. You are always anxious, but you don’t know why.

2. You constantly doubt yourself.

3. You are continuously impatient.

4. You are fearful of the results if there is a chance you 
     might be wrong about something.

5. You procrastinate frequently.

6. You frequently stress over nothing.

7. You usually over-expect to the point of disappointment.

8. You under assess all your accomplishments, always 
     selling yourself short.

9. You often worry about how you will perform in the future.

Do you recognize any of these nine signs in yourself?

After Thoughts

Look at those signs again, and this time … only focus on the bold words while blocking out the rest. Do those words describe you? Is that how you feel and react every day? 

Here’s a suggestion to improve your mental and physical health … from here on out, let go of the concept of striving for perfection. Just be and do the best you can each day. Once you stop focusing on performing perfectly, then your creativity, joy, and happiness will come back in abundance.

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Mind Code Rules Your World

Do you connect with any of the following questions?

Do you just react to situations in your life rather than proactively create a life you want?

Do you keep asking yourself like these questions below? Or do you keep coming back to these questions without seeming having an answer?

• Are you tired of living life according to other people’s expectations?

• Do your needs and desires always end up at the bottom of your list?

• Is your life so busy that you don't have time to focus on yourself?

• Confused about your future direction?  

• Do you feel that your past has robbed you of a happy present? 

• Do you feel that no matter how hard you work success is out of reach?

• Do you believe that you are not able to have close relationships because you are unlovable?

• Do you feel you can the master over your feelings but for some reason you fail at it?

• Do you feel that no matter how much your exert effort to like you, you constantly end up judging yourself?

Do you know why you do what you do, think what you think, and feel what you feel?

For many the answer would be - NO. Even though the question appears to be simple, the answer is a lot harder. Science has been studying the human brain for decades and decades and still not much is known on how it functions.

I have been working on a method for over the past 10 years to assist people to recognize why him or her act the way they do, think the why they do and react emotionally. That method is called Personal PhilosophyMethod. I found that what influences humans the most and is the foundation of identity as well as the most important and first element of Personal Philosophy which is your core beliefs.

Core beliefs are the Windows to Mind Code

Core beliefs are self-messages you form about yourself during a life situation. You forms thousands and thousands over a life time. If your core beliefs are negative and if they get triggered by something in your life and surface into your consciousness you will subconsciously react with behaviors, thoughts and emotions that will be negative, self-harming, self-limiting or self-defeating. If your core beliefs are positive, then the reverse will be true and the life results will turn out to be positive.

The more I worked with core beliefs, the more I realized that core beliefs were formed by experiences but driven by something else something greater in your subconscious mind. I found out that core beliefs were just the product of some other compartment where all your reactions to life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually are "generated". This great compartment governs the content of all your core beliefs and powerfully propels you into action without you ever knowing.  Meaning if the majority of your core beliefs that you formed are negative then this compartment generates instructions based on the content of your core beliefs to your conscious mind. The instructions causes you consciously to produce a negative behavior, negative thought and negative emotion. This important compartment in your brain holds all your mind code. 

Your mind code is your mind’s embedded database or software. The mind code is all rules, regulations, beliefs, procedures, instructions, self-messages, and regulations for how you will act, feel, think and react.Your mind can only do what is written in your code. Nothing more and nothing less.

What can be done?

Now that you know about mind code and core beliefs is there anything you can do about it? It is possible to change your mind code so your code will be positive and beneficial?  The answer is YES. There is a product available now that will could guide and assist you to recognize your core beliefs, core values and core expectations in less than one month. It is called the 30 Day Life Changing Mind Challenge.

Click on the link below and see how you can change your life by changing you're your brain’s software in on quick month.

                                       http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ 

To experience what the challenge is like take this mini mind challenge for free.

                              http://makingapositivechange.com/mini_challenge.php

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Dr. Bill's New Video Podcast - Happiness Balance Change - now available

I am really excited to announce I have made a new video podcast - Happiness Balance Change - for my Making a Positive Change website and Making a Positive Change with Dr. Bill Blog.

Happiness Balance Change is available on iTunes.

Check it out today. 

Know that happiness, balance and change is possible.

Why is Accountability So Important

There are many differences between life coaching and therapy. One of those differences is the issue of accountability. In life coaching the client is believed to have the answers to his or her problems are within them and not in the knowledge of the therapist.  A good life coach is effective by asking good questions which helps the client come up with his or her right answers.

A way to achieve accountability is through customized writing assignments that the client is responsible for. The client must follow through and complete assignments before next appointment.

As a Life Coach I work very hard to fit specific questions to my clients. If my questions are not good then the client will not come up with his or her right answers and the forward process will stall. In order to be on the same page as my clients, I sometimes have to give them an assignment to define a word. Defining words is important because everyone’s definitions varies in one form or another. So to help him or her progress, I feel I need to work off my client’s definition and not my definition.

Clients come up with some of his or her own great definitions with accurate perception. Here is an example of a great definition done on a word by one of my clients on a very important concept. I think this word we fight with and affects all of us in our daily lives. That word is accountability.

So what is accountability? Good question. I found this particular definition to be interesting with the way it was expressed and I hope will enlighten many more people.

The exact question to the client was:

“What does it mean to be accountable?”

The client answered the question simply in her own way.

“Accountability to me is living up to a standard moral code that’s ingrained in my subconscious mind from nature not nurture. It is the acknowledgement and assumption of responsibility for my actions. Accountability is a system of integrity that suppresses impulsiveness. It means that I am liable for my own destiny and culpable for the wrong decisions. Accountability and responsibility are guidelines for progress as I evolve spiritually, morally and mentally. It is doing what is right no matter how unfamiliar or hard it is to do.”

Want to be more accountable to yourself? Visit my website and take the 30 Day Life Changing Challenge

4 Tips to Help You Shift a Negative Mindset

Mindset is a concept that is talked a lot about in the helping profession lately. Funny thing about mindset is that everyone has one. In fact everyone has many mindsets and trade back and forth throughout the day.

What is a Mindset?

Simply a mindset is a fixed mental attitude. Mindsets come in all sorts of types and styles. A mindset can be fluid, or rigid. A mindset can be comfortable belief or an uncomfortable mental habit. It can be positive or judgmental of yourself or others.

Mindset can be a barrier

Hanging onto old mindsets can create many physical and mental problems, such as anxiety, blame, bitterness, fear, negativity, physical pain, resentments, stress, shame, sleeplessness and worry. Old mindsets can keep you boxed into old prejudice attitudes and thoughts.

Triggers affect your Mindset

Old mindsets can be triggered by situations. They can also be activated by the actions, comments or beliefs of others.  Over time a mindset results in poor physical health as well as a decrease in our mental and emotional health and performance. A mindset simply is a deep seated attitude based on old perceptions, beliefs or prejudices that were told, taught or forced on us. One thing clear is that a mindset is generally another person's expectations or bias. Growing up in my generation, it was taught to take others mindsets, such as parents, teachers, coaches, policemen, etc., with blind faith. Never to ask questions. Functioning in life under another person's mindset does not work and causes deep feelings of unhappiness, disappointment and a feeling of being trapped. 

4 Tips to Help You Shift an Old Mindset to Positive

1. Stop ruminating by literally stopping what you are doing and take 4 deep breaths. During those 4 breathes, focus on the air coming in to your lungs and then being released. 

2. Reclaim your personal authority by forming a new positive mindset to replace the negative attitude and replace it with a positive mindset. 

3. Create a new belief to support and validate your newly formed mindset. 

4. Conscious take ownership of the new mindset by making a promise to accept it. 

After Thoughts

You can break away from old destructive mindsets successfully. You have the power. Start today and forge your own path. You can get what you want if you follow the 4 steps above. 

                                     

For more suggestions and information go to Make a Positive Change website. Start today to change your life from the inside out.

Launched My Podcast on iTunes - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

On June 20th 2014, I launched my Podcast - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

Today I would like to announce that I have not forgotten all my friends who have Apple Products.

My podcast Quieting the Noise in your Mind is now on iTunes.

Download each episode and listen to them on your iPod, iPad and other Apple devices. Take me along with you wherever you go and listen anywhere.

Subscribe to iTunes today.

Then type in Dr Bill Tollefson in the iStore or the title - Quieting the Noise in your Mind and then download the episode you would like to listen to.

Go ahead and educate your mind.

There are 8 episodes right now and more to come. All episodes are free.

Stay in touch and look for more. If you have any suggestion for topics for future episodes then please send me a message, SMS or email. Find me on Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/DrBillLifeCoach?ref=hl  

or my websites  

http://www.drbilltollefson.com/drbilltollefson/

http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ 

Selected for a Business Award

Great News!!!! 

I just found out today that Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching won a business award for 2014.  

My business - Tollefson Enterprises - has been working very hard for the past 5 years to offer the best life coaching services possible. This award is recognition that our efforts, dedication and hard work has been going in the right direction.

Here is part of the Press Release

“Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching Services has been selected for the 2014 Best of Cape Coral Award in the Business Services category by the Cape Coral Award Program.

Each year, the Cape Coral Award Program identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small business through service to their customers and our community. These exceptional companies help make the Cape Coral area a great place to live, work and play.

Various sources of information were gathered and analyzed to choose the winners in each category. The 2014 Cape Coral Award Program focuses on quality, not quantity. Winners are determined based on the information gathered both internally by the Cape Coral Award Program and data provided by third parties.”

I couldn't be happier and more proud of what has been accomplished.

We at Tollefson Enterprises, LLC – Dr. Bill Life Coaching Services will continue to offer quality service to our Life Coaching services to our customers.

Dr. Bill

www.DrBillTollefson

www.MakingaPositiveChange.com

Mind Code Determines Thoughts

The human brain is a very powerful organ. It is important to know that the brain runs on mind code. The brain accumulates code from every experience we experience and embeds it in the subconscious. 
The mind can only respond to the code that is written within it. 

How does the code work?

The code forms our core beliefs. The core beliefs feeds content to our inner voice. The content within the inner voice then forms the way we think. At that point our thoughts then determine how we will feel and behave. 

How do you change?

Change the code therefore change your mind's reaction and response. It is possible to change your code and live a better life.

There is a way you can change your mind code in one month. Click on this link

http://www.makingapositivechange.com/  
and checkout 30 Day Challenge. This challenge will help you to change your mind code.

                                          

Comparison of Life Coaching and Therapy: Revelation

I wrote a blog explaining the difference between Life Coaching and Therapy. I got a very interesting and positive comment. I would like to share the comment and my answer with you. I think you would find both very interesting and candid.

Comment from Reader

I can see the importance of both...therapist and life coach. I have experienced both. I have experienced good points in both.

Most of my life I have been in therapy and have been given many "labels"..."diagnosis's"... and the labels do follow you through your whole life. Once "labeled" it sticks in your brain and you believe this will always be who I am. Even after years of therapy and doing better, I still carry that "label" around even if it is in my subconscious and I feel it has held me back and kept me from being "compete"..."whole".

Also medication issues, I believe psychiatrist think they are honestly helping by giving medication...but I have found it has only hindered and delayed my healing process.

Seeing a "good" life coach can make all the difference in the world. They do not see "labels" they see me for who I am... for what I can be...and help work through the obstacles that are blocking the path in becoming who I truly am...or can be...my desires can become my reality.

I do believe therapy has helped me...if nothing else...it has kept me alive and kept me from giving up many years ago. But, having a life coach has taken me to places I thought I would never see...never become. Desires "are" becoming "realities".

My new desire is to be free from addictive medications I have been on for many years. And I also believe this "desire" will become a "reality". Thanks to a wonderful life coach that believes in me and doesn't look at "labels"...but looks at me and my true abilities. 

Anonymous

Reply to Reader

Dear Anonymous,

I really appreciate you making a comment on my blog. I wrote it to inform people on the differences between Life Coaching and Therapy. There are many misunderstandings floating around. I want others to know that there are other views and paths when seeking relief from abuse or trauma recovery, healing and freedom.

Traditional methods are very effective for a lot of mental conditions (of which I was part of that system for 38 years), but Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is not one of them. PTSD is not a pathological disorder. PTS, I wish they would drop the "D", is a "normal" mental, physical and spiritual response to viewing or experiencing a life threatening event. The event could be mild or server, primary or secondary, but the resulting affect are the same. The event changes the person, response to self and others and changes their life. Traumatic events follow survivors like a constant shadow.

I hope that this blog allowed you to see both in a new light side by side. Coaching is a skill based acquisition method rather than an examining “wrong/broken" method. What is funny is that psychiatry, psychology or coaching is an exact science. So it is the practitioner behind the tools that makes the difference.

Another difference is Life Coaching gives people accountability through assignments and action plans they have to complete. Therapy does not.  I would rather be accountable and invested rather than expecting the therapist to have the “right answer”.

It is now people’s choice in what direction they want to travel. Either focus on what was wrong with your past and take the chance the “negative” will manifest that into their life (therapy).  Or self assess what they want (happiness/success), what skills they need to acquire your goal and achieve it.

Your choice toward your “freedom” is yours.

Mind Code Architecture© Eliminates Negative Beliefs (video)

Let me ask you a question.

Do you know why you do what you do, think what you think, feel what you feel and react as you do? 

For many the answer would be - NO. Even though the question appears to be simple, the answer is a lot harder. Science has been studying the human brain for decades and decades and still not much is known on how it functions.

I have been working on a method for over the past 10 years to assist people to recognize why him or her act the way they do, think the why they do and react emotionally. That method is called Personal Philosophy Method. I found that what influences humans the most and is the foundation of identity as well as the first element of Personal Philosophy is core beliefs. 

Core beliefs are messages a human forms during a life event about themselves. A person forms thousands and thousands over a lifetime. If a person's core belief is negative then when it is triggered and surfaces to consciousness the behavior, thought or reaction is negative, self limiting or self defeating. If the core belief is positive, the result is positive.The more I work with core beliefs, the more I realized that core beliefs were just a window to something great. A window into the compartment where the "generator" that powers the core beliefs into action exist - mind code. There is more behind it that forms core beliefs. Similar to a computer there is a "brain software" that generates or forms core beliefs.

Mind code is the brain's software or database that produces human identity. Mind code where all our rules, regulations, and beliefs are produced and the major subconscious influencer for how a person will act, think and react. Mind code runs silently in the 
background like source code on a computer. Even though the source code is not visible, it generates all the color, words and images on the monitor.

Is there anything that can be done to change mind code? 

Yes. 
It is possible to change a person's mind code. Once changed how he or she acts, behaves, thinks and react to self, others and the world changes. I have produced the 30 Day Life Changing Challenge which guide anyone on how to discover their mind code and then help he or she to create new mind code. The 30 Day Challenge allows a person to achieve a view of their core beliefs, their importance, their influence and expectation. Discovering mind code is achieve from finding out one's Personal Philosophy and the key elements that make it up. 


       Testimonials on the 30 Day Life Changing Challenge

This product will guide anyone through finding out if his or her Personal Philosophy is self-defeating or motivating and aid in the development of a new Personal Philosophy. Upon completion this self-help product - 30 Day Challenge -  will manifest your mind toward happiness and success they want. 

To experience this product, take this FREE Mini Challenge

Read more on the subjects mentioned:

Read more about Mind-Code

Read article on Core Beliefs

Please share or pass on to others you think it will benefit.

If you need more help rewriting your mind script in order to remove negative, self- limiting and self-sabotaging thinking from destroying your ability to get what you want out of life then visit my website home page at: http://www.MakingaPositiveChange.com  and download your FREE eBook today.

Also take the FREE mini mind challenge to see if you are a candidate for the 30 Day Challenge which will assist you in rewriting your mind script in ONE MONTH.

                           

Perceptions are Powerful but Mind Code Rules You Life

Everything from your outside world is filtered through your perceptions. How you think about others, the world and of course yourself is initially filtered perception.

Mind Code

Now what is it that influences your perceptions? Well, way in the lining of your subconscious is the procedures for how you will think, feel and react; known as "mind code". 


There is a structure to the way you behave, feel and think

Mind code is accepted beliefs, rules, self-procedures and standards on how you will react to stimuli from your outer and inner world. So whether you know it or not your perceptions are unknowingly influenced and filtered through code formed throughout your life and stays hidden from your subconsciousness awareness until triggered and surfaces to determine your behaviors, feelings, thoughts and reactions.