Guest Blog Testimonial on 30 Day Mind Challenge

Hello, my Name is Judy Lee Thurber and I completed Dr. Bill 30 Day Mind Challenge.

"In one month my mind script changed. My thoughts have changed for the good. I am changed for the better. I finally feel like I can take in a breath of air."

Before working with the 30-Day Challenge, I could tell that I had internal roadblocks and barriers to the good stuff in life ... like having a healthy body, fulfilling peaceful relationships, a calm mind and feeling of purpose in my soul. I wanted those things like a drowning person wants air but didn't feel allowed to deserve it. I understood that I felt like I didn't deserve these things or that I wasn't worthy, and that's why they never manifested in my life no matter how hard I would try.

The problem was that I didn't know how to actually make this change. I could see where I was ... didn't know the root of it … and I could see where I wanted to be. I could not figure out how to get from Point A to Point B. I even thought God had deserted me because no amount of prayer was making a difference.

However, that prayer was answered ... in the form of Dr. Bill Tollefson and this 30 Day Mind Challenge. When I started to understand the consequences of the abuse from my childhood, I realized that I truly had no foundation to my life. Everything on which I had built my life was nothing but rubble. Well-meaning friends would tell me to just put it behind me and move on. They would remind me that I was smart and full of faith - surely I could deal with making these changes. They would tell me that I just needed to use a little more will power and discipline. The more I tried, the further I went away from it, the more I failed, and the more disheartened I became. I continuously wondered what was wrong with me.

The 30 Day Challenge gave me the tools for creating a new foundation ... block by block. When I looked back on the negative core beliefs and core expectations I had, it is truly amazing that I even accomplished anything in my life. Surprising I survived at all. Now with this step-by-step product for creating new core beliefs, core values and core expectations, I built a new foundation for a new life that I choose, I created, which now serves my goals and brings me closer to my dreams. I am now able to accept the tools for creating a healthy body, fulfilling relationships, a calm and productive mind, and a feeling of purpose and self-love in my heart.

The proof is in the pudding ... my two teenage sons actually choose to spend time with me now. We get along with each other and have fun together. I now know that God never deserted me. I just needed to reach out and embrace the tools He was giving me and put them to use in my life. I truly have a life filled with Love and Gratitude now.

"Thanks Dr. Bill for giving me a product that showed me how to get me back. You are truly a Positive Mind Architect." - Judy Lee

If you need help rewriting your mind script in order to remove negative, self- limiting and self-sabotaging thinking from destroying your ability to get what you want out of life then visit my website home page at: http://www.MakingaPositiveChange.com  and download your FREE eBook today.

Also take the FREE mini mind challenge to see if you are a candidate for the 30 Day Challenge which will assist you in rewriting your mind script in ONE MONTH.

                         

4 Tips on Changing Old Thought Patterns

One of my popular clicked on articles is How to Change Old Patterns of Thinking. This article has been viewed over 13,000 times.  Why? Because people are dissatisfied with how they think and interested in changing them.

So how do you change thought patterns? Well there are four tips to accomplishing a significant change in the way you think and alter old thinking patterns for good.

Tip #1:

Determine the thoughts you would like to embed into your subconscious mind and write down those thoughts on paper. Title your list Positive Life Affirmations or PLA. Examples of some powerful of PLAs you can add to your list are:

You are happy,

You deserve to be healthy,

You are deserving of love,

You are prosperous 

You deserve to be productive 

Create and add any statements of positiveness you would like to be front and center in your conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list to no more than 10 positive life affirmations during any 30 day period.

Tip #2

Set up a daily schedule on your calendar. Commit to a time every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime) for thirty (30) days. During each daily scheduled time, read your list 4 times in a row. The most important time is just before you close your eyes to go asleep. Why? Think about it. Most people think of negative things like what went wrong today, what will I face in tomorrow, what I did like today and how do I fix what the mistakes of the day. Their subconscious mind mills over those answers all the time they are asleep and when they awaken they do not want to get out of bed because they are afraid things will go wrong and wrong things happen.

On the other hand if you feed your subconscious mind positive thoughts then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you asleep and in the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest that positive list and associate with positiveness in your life.

 Tip #3

Repetition is the third key. Practice, practice and practice your list some more. The more you repeat your list the quicker it embeds.

Repetition by someone else or self-repeating is how the old negative thoughts got into your subconscious mind originally. So through practice, the new thoughts will be accepted and replace the old ones. Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic Level athlete. The way to reach this goal is by practicing their skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is true about changing thoughts. The more you repeat, repeat and repeat your new positive life affirmation thought list the quicker your new thoughts will stream into you conscious without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #4

Emotional connectedness is the fourth key. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how the diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place.

How is emotional connected so important? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotion attachment. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached or you love can produce major hurt that cuts to your core.

The Secret

To be successful at changing your thought patterns just follow the four keys.  Make your list (no more than 10 positive life affirmations), repeat them at scheduled times and feel them as you repeat your new created positive thoughts and they will stay with you. 

After Thought

So the secret to altering old thought patterns is creation, consistency and emotional commitment to new thoughts. Repeat them to yourself until you set a new pattern of thinking and it will create a new mindset.

 Make a positive change today with the 30 Day Mind Changing Challenge. Take the Mini Challenge to see if you are ready to change your thoughts.

9 Tips You are a Perfectionist

Misconception

The biggest misconception in life is that “all good things come from being perfect.” Nothing in life could be further from the truth. The truth is that perfection is the major killer of joy, creativity, happiness and also success. Yet there are millions of people who are driven every day to attain what is not possible … perfection.

Actually perfection is the cause of deep disappointment.

If you always strive to be perfect … reaching for the golden ring of life … you will only find nothing but emptiness, dissatisfaction and loneliness. At the end of your effort there is only a rusted old hoop. 

One of the most creative painters of modern time, Salvador Dali said, “Have no fear of perfection – you'll never reach it.” 

Over the years, I have noticed that the issue of perfectionism is huge with a lot of the people I have talked with. When I ask the question, “Are you a perfectionist?” 95% of the people answered with a resounding, “No!” After a few follow up questions from me, 80% of those 95% say, “Well, I guess I am.”  If you think about it, you will see that achievement, promotion, raises, and advancements are all based on how well you perform not whether you are a perfectionist.

By definition, a perfectionist is a person who strains compulsively and unceasingly toward an unattainable goal (or goals). The measuring stick for their self-worth is marked off by periods of productivity and feats of accomplishment. When you pressure yourself to achieve unrealistic goals, you predictably set yourself up for disappointment. Perfectionists tend to have the voice of a mean and judgmental critic in their head. It speaks up every time they fail to attain their own (or someone else’s) extremely unrealistic expectation.

So, how do you know if you are a perfectionist? You may be a perfectionist if you try to live by extremely unattainable standards, and you feel like a failure when you fail to meet them. You may be a perfectionist if your core beliefs about yourself tend to be punitive, rejecting, and downright nasty. You may be a perfectionist if the view you have of yourself tends to be tremendously negative. 

9 TIPS You Might Be a Perfectionist If:

1. You are always anxious, but you don’t know why.

2. You constantly doubt yourself.

3. You are continuously impatient.

4. You are fearful of the results if there is a chance you 
     might be wrong about something.

5. You procrastinate frequently.

6. You frequently stress over nothing.

7. You usually over-expect to the point of disappointment.

8. You under assess all your accomplishments, always 
     selling yourself short.

9. You often worry about how you will perform in the future.

Do you recognize any of these nine signs in yourself?

After Thoughts

Look at those signs again, and this time … only focus on the bold words while blocking out the rest. Do those words describe you? Is that how you feel and react every day? 

Here’s a suggestion to improve your mental and physical health … from here on out, let go of the concept of striving for perfection. Just be and do the best you can each day. Once you stop focusing on performing perfectly, then your creativity, joy, and happiness will come back in abundance.

Subscribe and Follow me by going to my Blog 

http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/ 

Click the link in the 2nd box on the right hand side -  "Subscribe to get updates from this Blog" so you get notified every time I publish a new blog.

Go to my website Making a Positive Change and get a free gift of my eBook.

                                                  

Mind Code Rules Your World

Do you connect with any of the following questions?

Do you just react to situations in your life rather than proactively create a life you want?

Do you keep asking yourself like these questions below? Or do you keep coming back to these questions without seeming having an answer?

• Are you tired of living life according to other people’s expectations?

• Do your needs and desires always end up at the bottom of your list?

• Is your life so busy that you don't have time to focus on yourself?

• Confused about your future direction?  

• Do you feel that your past has robbed you of a happy present? 

• Do you feel that no matter how hard you work success is out of reach?

• Do you believe that you are not able to have close relationships because you are unlovable?

• Do you feel you can the master over your feelings but for some reason you fail at it?

• Do you feel that no matter how much your exert effort to like you, you constantly end up judging yourself?

Do you know why you do what you do, think what you think, and feel what you feel?

For many the answer would be - NO. Even though the question appears to be simple, the answer is a lot harder. Science has been studying the human brain for decades and decades and still not much is known on how it functions.

I have been working on a method for over the past 10 years to assist people to recognize why him or her act the way they do, think the why they do and react emotionally. That method is called Personal PhilosophyMethod. I found that what influences humans the most and is the foundation of identity as well as the most important and first element of Personal Philosophy which is your core beliefs.

Core beliefs are the Windows to Mind Code

Core beliefs are self-messages you form about yourself during a life situation. You forms thousands and thousands over a life time. If your core beliefs are negative and if they get triggered by something in your life and surface into your consciousness you will subconsciously react with behaviors, thoughts and emotions that will be negative, self-harming, self-limiting or self-defeating. If your core beliefs are positive, then the reverse will be true and the life results will turn out to be positive.

The more I worked with core beliefs, the more I realized that core beliefs were formed by experiences but driven by something else something greater in your subconscious mind. I found out that core beliefs were just the product of some other compartment where all your reactions to life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually are "generated". This great compartment governs the content of all your core beliefs and powerfully propels you into action without you ever knowing.  Meaning if the majority of your core beliefs that you formed are negative then this compartment generates instructions based on the content of your core beliefs to your conscious mind. The instructions causes you consciously to produce a negative behavior, negative thought and negative emotion. This important compartment in your brain holds all your mind code. 

Your mind code is your mind’s embedded database or software. The mind code is all rules, regulations, beliefs, procedures, instructions, self-messages, and regulations for how you will act, feel, think and react.Your mind can only do what is written in your code. Nothing more and nothing less.

What can be done?

Now that you know about mind code and core beliefs is there anything you can do about it? It is possible to change your mind code so your code will be positive and beneficial?  The answer is YES. There is a product available now that will could guide and assist you to recognize your core beliefs, core values and core expectations in less than one month. It is called the 30 Day Life Changing Mind Challenge.

Click on the link below and see how you can change your life by changing you're your brain’s software in on quick month.

                                       http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ 

To experience what the challenge is like take this mini mind challenge for free.

                              http://makingapositivechange.com/mini_challenge.php

                              View Original Full Article

                                                     

                                     

Happiness Balance Change Podcast

Something New 

For my Friends who want to learn more about making positive changes in their lives and follow the insights of Dr Bill. 

I have a new video podcast - Happiness Balance Change. If you have a iTunes account then go to iTunes, click on Podcast at the iTunes Store at the top. 

Then in the search bar type in Dr Bill Tollefson and click on my new podcast - Happiness Balance Change and watch my video podcast. 

Episode One: 

Welcome to Happiness Balance Change Podcast Channel

Episode Two:

Inner Critic

Growth is accomplished through acquiring new learn. Hope you like it.

Be focused. Change will not evade you. Faith in yourself is paramount to any accomplishment of happiness, change or balance.

Why is Accountability So Important

There are many differences between life coaching and therapy. One of those differences is the issue of accountability. In life coaching the client is believed to have the answers to his or her problems are within them and not in the knowledge of the therapist.  A good life coach is effective by asking good questions which helps the client come up with his or her right answers.

A way to achieve accountability is through customized writing assignments that the client is responsible for. The client must follow through and complete assignments before next appointment.

As a Life Coach I work very hard to fit specific questions to my clients. If my questions are not good then the client will not come up with his or her right answers and the forward process will stall. In order to be on the same page as my clients, I sometimes have to give them an assignment to define a word. Defining words is important because everyone’s definitions varies in one form or another. So to help him or her progress, I feel I need to work off my client’s definition and not my definition.

Clients come up with some of his or her own great definitions with accurate perception. Here is an example of a great definition done on a word by one of my clients on a very important concept. I think this word we fight with and affects all of us in our daily lives. That word is accountability.

So what is accountability? Good question. I found this particular definition to be interesting with the way it was expressed and I hope will enlighten many more people.

The exact question to the client was:

“What does it mean to be accountable?”

The client answered the question simply in her own way.

“Accountability to me is living up to a standard moral code that’s ingrained in my subconscious mind from nature not nurture. It is the acknowledgement and assumption of responsibility for my actions. Accountability is a system of integrity that suppresses impulsiveness. It means that I am liable for my own destiny and culpable for the wrong decisions. Accountability and responsibility are guidelines for progress as I evolve spiritually, morally and mentally. It is doing what is right no matter how unfamiliar or hard it is to do.”

Want to be more accountable to yourself? Visit my website and take the 30 Day Life Changing Challenge

Be with Your Thoughts or Electrocute Yourself, which would you pick?

A recent research study found that “we'd rather electrocute ourselves than be alone with our thoughts”.

OMG, I have been writing for years about changing your life through journaling, mediation (Me Time) or just deep breathing for only 5 to 10 minutes with yourself a day, without any external distracted or stimulation.   I require that each client spend time with themselves without a book, computer, phone, television, tablet or radio. I asked that they have nothing to stare at or take away their focus on during that time. The objective was to improve their relationship with themselves, reduce stress and improve brain function.

I cannot tell you how many of my clients cannot or had difficulty completing this simple task. Even though spending just 5 minutes a day with themselves has been proven to improve their life and health (mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually) as well as release stresses they were holding onto, people can’t seem to complete even a few minutes. The excuses I hear from my clients are “Oh I forgot”, “I am too busy, but I meant to”, “I tried, but just I couldn't focus”, I couldn't find any time”, or “I get too anxious”.

With those clients that have a history of being bullied, harassed, abused or traumatized when asked if they did their 5 minutes I am told “I didn't like the thoughts that went through my head”, “I could not stop my thoughts long enough to focus just on my breathing as you asked me to do. It felt wrong”, “While I was doing it a negative thought jump into my head and I could not get rid of it once I stopped meditating” and “Truthfully I can’t stand to be with me. I do not think I deserve it”.

The overall underlying messages I get from my clients are basically that being with their own thoughts or being in their own skin is uncomfortable. Above all alone or quiet time should be avoided at all cost. When alone most of them have either a TV running somewhere in the house or music playing to fill their head with distraction.

The fundamental human question is have we lost the ability to be alone with our own thoughts?

Proof is in the Study

I found an article in the Washington Post about a study done by Timothy Wilson, a psychologist at the University of Virginia and lead author of the study. This article reported on a study about being alone with your thoughts vs getting electrocuted, yes you read correctly, electrocuted.  The study was simple, all the participants had to do was enter an empty room, sit down, and think for six to 15 minutes. The only requirement was that the participants had to be in the room without a cellphone, a book, or a television screen to stare at. The reporter from the Washington Post quoted Dr. Wilson as saying “The assignment quickly became too much for the participants to handle. In fact, even when the individuals were given time to "prepare" for their time alone — meaning that they were able to plan what they would think about during their moments of solitude — the participants still found the task hard to complete.” “People didn't like it much being alone with themselves and their thoughts."

So the researchers decided to make the study a little harder. Each participant was given an option of doing something else while in the room alone, besides just thinking. What the researchers came up with wasn't exactly pleasant. Instead of just sitting sit and alone, participants were now allowed to electrocute themselves as many times as they liked with a device containing a 9 volt battery. Still, for many, such an option wouldn't seem desirable.

But the study found that most participants decided they would rather shock themselves on an average of seven times during their time in the room and sit in solitude and think. An interesting facet in this study was that one male participant in the study “shocked himself 190 times over a period of 15 minutes” just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts. 

My Take on the Study 

When reading this article and study I discovered that participants, both men and women would rather spend their time stimulated by outside stimuli, even if it was an electrical shock from 9 volt battery, than to spend quiet time with only their thoughts. Why is that? I believe that most people, when forced to sit without external stimulation, have thoughts that they cannot accept. We as a society have been constantly inundated with outside stimulation, good and bad, for so long that we don’t understand how to just be quiet with our thoughts. Gone are the days of sitting on the front porch just being.

Other Reasons

      1. Time

More and more people do not have the time to complete even the simplest tasks in a day. You have to clean the house, care for kids, interact with friends and family, prepare meals, work, etc…. Being busy and fulfilling others expectation has become the standard in most people’s lives. Everyone races from one task to another without a thought or hesitation. No wonder stress and stress related illnesses are so rampant and the number one focus is on performance and not being with self. Life has become a moving grindstone that you can’t stop.

2. Stimulation

Our society is becoming addicted to being stimulated all of the time. Many people would rather be stimulated by drugs, alcohol, and all electronic devices and let’s not forget social media rather than being with themselves. 

Conclusion

This study supports what I been saying in my articles for many years about thought addiction and the inner critic. More people than we thought have difficulty with the thoughts that run through their heads. Let’s just simply get back to basics and improve the relationship with our thoughts, basically ourselves. With practice the act of spending time with ourselves will becomes easier and more enjoyable. Make more time in your schedule for you.

(The study was conducted by Timothy Wilson was published in Science Magazine, 2014)

http://www.appy-geek.com/Web/ArticleWeb.aspx?regionid=1&articleid=25485335&m=d 

http://www.theverge.com/2014/7/4/5870573/rather-electrocute-ourselves-than-be-alone-with-thoughts 

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2014-07/uov-dsi063014.php

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/07/03/most-men-would-rather-shock-themselves-than-be-alone-with-their-thoughts/

Launched My Podcast on iTunes - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

On June 20th 2014, I launched my Podcast - Quieting the Noise in Your Mind

Today I would like to announce that I have not forgotten all my friends who have Apple Products.

My podcast Quieting the Noise in your Mind is now on iTunes.

Download each episode and listen to them on your iPod, iPad and other Apple devices. Take me along with you wherever you go and listen anywhere.

Subscribe to iTunes today.

Then type in Dr Bill Tollefson in the iStore or the title - Quieting the Noise in your Mind and then download the episode you would like to listen to.

Go ahead and educate your mind.

There are 8 episodes right now and more to come. All episodes are free.

Stay in touch and look for more. If you have any suggestion for topics for future episodes then please send me a message, SMS or email. Find me on Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/DrBillLifeCoach?ref=hl  

or my websites  

http://www.drbilltollefson.com/drbilltollefson/

http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ 

Strategies for eliminating an undesirable habit

Seems like breaking an old undesirable habit is insurmountable because once you are comfortable with it, changing or eliminating it can be very frightening and extremely uncomfortable.. The problem with a habit is that the origination of it is probably not known to the person who created it. Therefore the strong need to perform activities or thoughts over and over just seems to come out from nowhere. 

For a long time a habit had a negative connotation and were connected to negative or damaging stuff like addictions. Yet habits can be good, healthy, positive and achievable. Especially since humans are instinctively creators of habit.

What is a habit?

A habit is literally just a thought or action that you practice over and over that eventually become automatic. A habit is those things, actions, emotions or thoughts that you do without thinking. Habits can be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.

I‘m a big fan of paying attention to habits, both habitual behavior and thoughts. Some habits are intentional to live smoother and happier in life. However some habits aren't even in your consciousness. Most of your habits are generated from your subconscious mind.

Most limiting behaviors or self-defeating thoughts that keep you miserable about yourself and life are generated by one or more of your subconscious habits. Thoughts drive decisions and decisions strongly influence behaviors, emotions and reactions. Practice an action, a thought or feeling often enough and it will become a habit. Over time it will become embedded in the subconscious and rule your life.

For instance, if you constantly entertain anxious and worry thoughts about not having enough happiness, you'll create behaviors based on those fears. You'll push people away that could bring you happiness and draw people toward you that criticize or judge you.

Let me ask you three questions about your habits

Habits can interfere with you gaining more success, inner peace or happiness. So take a moment right now and answer these questions honestly for the benefit of yourself.

        1. Which of your habits suck up your time and energy?
        2. Which habits do you have that do not serve you positively?

        3. Why do I continue a habit that affects your life in negative
             way and does not serve you emotionally, mentally or 
             physically?

 If you didn't answer the questions, you probably have a habit of procrastination and you put off change or are afraid to form powerful new habits.

Here are some habits which can stop you from achieving what you want:

Checking email too many times a day

Watching almost every video or reading every post sent to you on Facebook

Reading or searching for articles that you feel would answer your problems, but don’t

Ruminating over and over about what you could have done in the past

Procrastinating

Constantly focusing on disappointments

Mentally attempting to fix what went wrong in your past

Responding to anxious or stressful situations that have not happened yet

Thinking why you can't get what you want all the time

Worrying about the wrongs done to you or what happened to you in your past

Mindset Shift

Now shift your mindset and become more mindful of your habits. 

Think of habits you can create that would serve you now and you could start today. There is no time like the moment to start to change old habits into new healthy habits. Stop spending your time ruminating about "what you can’t do" and start putting new positive behaviors, emotions or thoughts into action. The more you put something into action the greater skill level you acquire, the more confidence you will attain.

One benefit of creating a positive habit is that habituation takes less energy and can be embedded into your subconscious mind in 7 days. At first you have to be very conscious of your new action and doing the new thing everyday. Repetition is the key to to habit formation.

Here are some healthy habit strategies that would support development:

Take a daily 20-minute walks to clear my head before practicing the new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Believe that you have the answers for you in you

Be mindful of the moment and enjoy 

Meditate for 5 minutes a day to reduce the chatter in your head and practicing purposeful breathing sometime after you have practiced your new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Set intentions for your day within the first hour you're awake

Exercise or go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Create specific goals in all areas of your life. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable and time lined

Create and write out a weekly schedule to keep you on track and accountable

Listening to a calming or uplifting music CD to reduce the judgmental sounds of your inner critic and it negative influences it generally has on you

Limit your time on electronic devices during the day

Be good to yourself by rewarding yourself once a day even if it is only a positive thought about you

Pat yourself on the back for just the effort you are taking in the right direction.

Notice and acknowledge what you are doing right

Celebrate all successes not matter how small the changes

Commit to doing whatever it takes to do the task in the first 30 days

Also in forming and installing your new habits you can break them down into small or big habits. Your mindset and personal beliefs will dictate what is best for you in the moment. 

I like to create small and big habits when I want to increase my success of intended change. Why? The small habits keep me grounded by practicing over and over again on a daily basis in 30 days. The small habits create change quickly and are easy to accomplish. For instance forming a habit of walking I hour every day. First start with beginning of walking, say five minutes. If you focus on walking a full hour in the beginning it can be overwhelming. Walk for five minutes for a couple of weeks until it becomes firmly installed as a behavior. In the next couple of weeks expand to 30 minutes. Finally lengthen your walk to one hour. The last step should be no problem because the walk has become a habit. Start small and build into a bigger habit.

The big habits help me to have something to shoot for going forward in a longer time period. The big habits create change slower but tend to be more motivating. Big habits are powerful for me because they enhance term committed to producing a new habit. This strategy isn't ideal for everyone.

Understand that initially installing a habit is not energy free. It will cost you. To form a new habit will cost you awareness, commitment, effort, responsibility.

I have discovered the more I practice anything the quicker I achieve and the faster adapt the action as mine. Another benefit is through repetitiveness the more confidence I develop with that activity. The other thing that is important is not to expect to do the habit perfectly. Expecting perfection is the killer of creating, developing or forming anything new. Expecting perfection will cause you to abandon your efforts quicker than anything else you will encounter.

Finally ask yourself:

What in your life gives you extreme joy and fulfillment?

What healthy habit would you replace an old one with that would radically change my life?

Short-term program to help you form healthy habits quicker

You have probably heard that it takes 30 days of repeating an action or thought before it becomes a habit. Well that is the truth. You can change way you think and behave in just one month. Free you need to know the secret. The secret is that all your thoughts and actions are influenced and generated by how your mind is coded. The 30 Day Life Changing Challenge can unlock your code and help you to achieve a whole new way of thinking and behaving. Change your code in just one month and be a new you.

Go to www.MakingaPositiveChange.com and click on the 30 Day Challenge and find out what the program can do for you. FREE Mini Challenge 

Mind Code Determines Thoughts

The human brain is a very powerful organ. It is important to know that the brain runs on mind code. The brain accumulates code from every experience we experience and embeds it in the subconscious. 
The mind can only respond to the code that is written within it. 

How does the code work?

The code forms our core beliefs. The core beliefs feeds content to our inner voice. The content within the inner voice then forms the way we think. At that point our thoughts then determine how we will feel and behave. 

How do you change?

Change the code therefore change your mind's reaction and response. It is possible to change your code and live a better life.

There is a way you can change your mind code in one month. Click on this link

http://www.makingapositivechange.com/  
and checkout 30 Day Challenge. This challenge will help you to change your mind code.

                                          

1 Step to Enlightenment

One of my biggest days of my life was the birth of my grandson. To be blessed with a new gift like that filled my heart and soul and everything I have learned since then has brought me more enlightenment and wisdom.

Well today I have another gift that I want to pass on to you the reader. To begin a new path to happiness and freedom you have to gain more wisdom. Wisdom becomes fruitful when you put it into action. Action begets success and freedom. 

The result all of this is a whole new mindset.

With that I present you a new feature on this blog site. If you glance to the right of this blog you will see the new feature which is an audio player titled Radio Shows with Dr. Bill.

I have selected the most useful and important shows for the issues covered in this blog to help you gain enlightenment and wisdom. With all this wisdom you get from the shows will get you started down a new path toward shifting to a healthy mindset.

Please enjoy all the radio shows that will raise your enlightenment! Take another step and subscribe to this Blog and follow me as I write even more enlightenment with each blog I post.

Control and Command: Shift to a New Mindset

For over a year now, I have been asked by my clients to write an article on the difference between control and command. Control and command are important because this is the distinction between whether you respond to your life because of being forced, or you choose to exercise respect and empowerment.

"I should have been able to control it." I have heard this statement throughout 40-plus years as a therapist as well as a life and addiction recovery coach. But I must ask you, can you control anything in life? The answer is a resounding: No! When reality sets in, you cannot control how you think or feel … you can’t control other people or the events in your life. The concept of control is actually an illusion.

Let me explain by starting at the beginning. Everyone has been told since childhood that we can control anything if we are good enough and focus hard enough. People would tell you, "just stop doing it" or "just control it." I always ask the question "where did you get that?" The response is generally, "I was taught that. If I can't control it, then I am weak person."

The fact is, the more we think about controlling a thought, feeling, behavior, another person or situation, the more unable we are to exercise any control at all. Can we control our physical organs, such as stopping our breathing, heart or thinking? No. Control is based on a false expectation, achieved through power and manipulation. The more we try control a thought, feeling, or behavior, the more it comes to the foreground. Why?

3 Stages of Control

Thinking of achieving control over someone or something? Gaining control is not possible, in fact it is an illusion. You cannot control yourself other or life situations. 

There are 3 stages that you would go through when attempting to control someone or something. Here are three stages of trying to control something. 

The first stage is the plain "control" stage. In this stage control is the act of forcing something against its will. When we want to control something (ourselves, another person, a situation, or a feeling), we work and work, but in time we find that we just cannot control. It reminds me of a person trying to be perfect. Nobody's perfect, at least I haven't met that person yet.

Our failure to control can really frustrate us, so we think "I have to work harder at it." This forces us into the second stage which is "over control." In this stage we focus harder and work more on controlling the subject, situation or person by using everything in our arsenal. Again we are not able to achieve our "unreasonable" expectation.

Not achieving control in the second stage drives us into the third stage of control which is "out of control." We wildly do unreasonable behaviors or say things which are uncharacteristic of ourselves. Then the realization finally hits, we cannot control anything even ourselves. At that point hopefully, we stop, yet that is not always true. Disappointment, fear, rejection or failure sets in hard and we go into a downward spiral.

 So What is Possible?

What is possible is a skill called "command." Is there a difference? Yes. Commanding can be learned and can be achieved. Command is not based on power or manipulation. Commanding is based on respect. Command can be a learned skill and mastery can be achieved through practice. Really now … can you stop thinking? No, but you can learn how to shift your thoughts from negative to positive. The more you practice this skill, the better you will become at it. 

Will it ever be perfect? No, but who would want to be perfect. I tell people all the time: if you are perfect then that means that you never have to get out of bed. You would know everything, have done everything, seen everything, and felt everything in life, so there is no challenge or reason to function in life.

There is a law of command. The law of command is based on earning respect. You respect certain positions in life only because the person in the position has earned it, like a parent, the President, a religious leader, etc. (you get the idea). You may not like or agree with everything they do in that position, but you do respect them for earning the position. Another example you should be able to relate to is a five star General in any military service. A service person may dislike the General, may not agree with their decisions or orders, but they will follow the General's orders because they respect the rank. The General did not get the rank automatically and was not born into the rank. The General worked very hard from the bottom as an enlisted person, studied and trained for many years and weathered all the internal politics to achieve that rank. Therefore, the soldiers follow the general’s orders into battle at possible peril of their own lives out of respect of the rank that the General holds.

After Thoughts

The same is true when you apply this idea to yourself. You should have respect for yourself. How is that achieved? Plain and simple … you earned it. How? You earn yourself respect in two ways.

First way is by being conscious that your word matches your deeds. The second way is by acquiring a skill and achieve a high level of performance through practice. Over time, you will see that your need to control an issue, situation or person will decrease. You will also see a corresponding increase in the ability to competently respect yourself therefore gain command of previously unruly areas of your life.

Please subscribe to my blog so that you will get all of my new ideas. 

Also visit my website http://www.makingapositivechange.com/ 
and 
also get a membership to the site for Free 

Thanks