5 Tips on Cleansing Your Inner Voice

Your brain is a miraculous organ. It can be a powerful benefit or crushing adversary. One tool that your brain has that helps you to communicate with yourself is your inner voice. 
Sometimes that voice in your head attempts to rule your life and suggests it knows best. Your inner voice can take on many forms. Your inner voice can be either supportive or critical depending on how good your relationship with self is or much self-love you have for you. 

Inner Voice Turned Negative (Gone Rogue) 

If the inner self voice takes on the form of inner critic, the content of its messages becomes doubtful, judgmental, negative, depressing, self-defeating, self-limiting or second guessing. The content of the inner critic originates from one's mind code. Then the negative self-talk can produce negative thought or sets of thoughts that get caught in a constant loop. Constant thought looping, or otherwise known as ruminating, can result in a thought addiction. 


Definition of Rumination

Rumination is defined as passively focusing the mind’s attention on a negative belief causing an associated emotional state to surface like depression, and over negatively thinking about the causes, meanings, possible results or consequences of the content or beliefs of the mind. People who ruminate are ineffective in taking action, slow in problem-solving, and hesitate at decision making. Rumination causes fixed, inflexible, and negative thinking.

Research

Recent research studying individuals with a lifetime of mood disorders found that rumination is one of the strongest correlations to the onset of depression. Rumination or thought looping makes relapse into depression easier. Research data revealed that formation of ruminating thoughts are cognitive features associated with a vulnerability to developing, maintaining, and relapsing into a depressive disorder. 

So, the more a person ponders on a negative thought or cluster of thoughts over and over again, the harder it is to release that thought … and it can have devastating results on his or her life. Ruminating can be categorized by negative, rigid beliefs a person has formed about themselves, their self-worth, and confidence. Typically, these beliefs involve conditional standards in areas of self-evaluation, perfectionism, and approval of others.

A side effect of ruminating is the creation of dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions of you and the world outside of you. Dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions are a direct reflection of the content of the mind (i.e., what you think or feel about you). Rumination is associated with the processes of the mind, that is, how you relate to the content streaming through the mind.

Quiet your inner voice through enforcing new rules

One way to quiet your mind is by daily cleaning out the clutter in your mind and choosing to not feed your inner voice content. Choose to not give that inner voice content value.

Don’t allow junk into your mind. Be mindful of what you allow inside your mind. Monitor your own words, thoughts and attention. 

Don't give inappropriate content power and influence over your mind. 

Don't give your inner voice energy. 

Don't spend time gossiping, bad mouthing other people, judging other people, finding faults in others, or allow yourself to be consumed in negative thoughts like jealousy, guilt or fear, or constructing excuses to cover up how you actually feel. It doesn’t matter if this happens only in your mind or you verbalize it with others. Make the choice to not entertain these thoughts.

Don't spend mental time doubting, second guessing, judging, arguing, or being mean to you.  

Afterthoughts

The more you monitor and pay attention to your beliefs and the content your thoughts, the more influence you will have over your thoughts. Be observant of how you manifest the content through listening to words that you speak. The main question you should ask yourself … is the content of your beliefs, words, or thoughts holding you captive, causing you to ruminate constantly and bringing you down. If your answer is yes, then you need to cleanse your inner voice.

5 Tips to Cleanse Your Inner Voice

Follow these 5 tips to inner voice cleanse and achieve inner peace:

1. Be mindful of your thought content. Take time and notice in the moment when you are having a thought. Is the thought negative, self-destructive, sabotaging or creating emotional discomfort for you? 

2. Ask yourself: “Is this thought moving me toward or away from my beliefs, and is it how I want to live?”

3. If the thought is moving you away from the kind of person you want to be or how you want to believe, then clear the thought from your stream of thinking. Realize that this thought is just a thought and not an authority. 

4. Recognize and uncover the underlying emotion or emotions that may be fueling your negative, unhelpful thought stream. Shift the emotion(s) by breathing through it for a few minutes until it diminishes. Choose an empowering or cleansing word to help your mind let go of the repetitive negative cycle. I like to repeat “release – release” in my mind in order to move past a negative thought loop.

5. Empower yourself by remembering that the nature of the mind is to think. It is a tool, not the ruler. Your mind should be constantly producing thoughts for you. So be creative and consciously alter your thought stream by producing positive thoughts. Focus on these positive thoughts, and inject them into your stream of consciousness every day.

                                                  

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Be with Your Thoughts or Electrocute Yourself, which would you pick?

A recent research study found that “we'd rather electrocute ourselves than be alone with our thoughts”.

OMG, I have been writing for years about changing your life through journaling, mediation (Me Time) or just deep breathing for only 5 to 10 minutes with yourself a day, without any external distracted or stimulation.   I require that each client spend time with themselves without a book, computer, phone, television, tablet or radio. I asked that they have nothing to stare at or take away their focus on during that time. The objective was to improve their relationship with themselves, reduce stress and improve brain function.

I cannot tell you how many of my clients cannot or had difficulty completing this simple task. Even though spending just 5 minutes a day with themselves has been proven to improve their life and health (mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually) as well as release stresses they were holding onto, people can’t seem to complete even a few minutes. The excuses I hear from my clients are “Oh I forgot”, “I am too busy, but I meant to”, “I tried, but just I couldn't focus”, I couldn't find any time”, or “I get too anxious”.

With those clients that have a history of being bullied, harassed, abused or traumatized when asked if they did their 5 minutes I am told “I didn't like the thoughts that went through my head”, “I could not stop my thoughts long enough to focus just on my breathing as you asked me to do. It felt wrong”, “While I was doing it a negative thought jump into my head and I could not get rid of it once I stopped meditating” and “Truthfully I can’t stand to be with me. I do not think I deserve it”.

The overall underlying messages I get from my clients are basically that being with their own thoughts or being in their own skin is uncomfortable. Above all alone or quiet time should be avoided at all cost. When alone most of them have either a TV running somewhere in the house or music playing to fill their head with distraction.

The fundamental human question is have we lost the ability to be alone with our own thoughts?

Proof is in the Study

I found an article in the Washington Post about a study done by Timothy Wilson, a psychologist at the University of Virginia and lead author of the study. This article reported on a study about being alone with your thoughts vs getting electrocuted, yes you read correctly, electrocuted.  The study was simple, all the participants had to do was enter an empty room, sit down, and think for six to 15 minutes. The only requirement was that the participants had to be in the room without a cellphone, a book, or a television screen to stare at. The reporter from the Washington Post quoted Dr. Wilson as saying “The assignment quickly became too much for the participants to handle. In fact, even when the individuals were given time to "prepare" for their time alone — meaning that they were able to plan what they would think about during their moments of solitude — the participants still found the task hard to complete.” “People didn't like it much being alone with themselves and their thoughts."

So the researchers decided to make the study a little harder. Each participant was given an option of doing something else while in the room alone, besides just thinking. What the researchers came up with wasn't exactly pleasant. Instead of just sitting sit and alone, participants were now allowed to electrocute themselves as many times as they liked with a device containing a 9 volt battery. Still, for many, such an option wouldn't seem desirable.

But the study found that most participants decided they would rather shock themselves on an average of seven times during their time in the room and sit in solitude and think. An interesting facet in this study was that one male participant in the study “shocked himself 190 times over a period of 15 minutes” just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts. 

My Take on the Study 

When reading this article and study I discovered that participants, both men and women would rather spend their time stimulated by outside stimuli, even if it was an electrical shock from 9 volt battery, than to spend quiet time with only their thoughts. Why is that? I believe that most people, when forced to sit without external stimulation, have thoughts that they cannot accept. We as a society have been constantly inundated with outside stimulation, good and bad, for so long that we don’t understand how to just be quiet with our thoughts. Gone are the days of sitting on the front porch just being.

Other Reasons

      1. Time

More and more people do not have the time to complete even the simplest tasks in a day. You have to clean the house, care for kids, interact with friends and family, prepare meals, work, etc…. Being busy and fulfilling others expectation has become the standard in most people’s lives. Everyone races from one task to another without a thought or hesitation. No wonder stress and stress related illnesses are so rampant and the number one focus is on performance and not being with self. Life has become a moving grindstone that you can’t stop.

2. Stimulation

Our society is becoming addicted to being stimulated all of the time. Many people would rather be stimulated by drugs, alcohol, and all electronic devices and let’s not forget social media rather than being with themselves. 

Conclusion

This study supports what I been saying in my articles for many years about thought addiction and the inner critic. More people than we thought have difficulty with the thoughts that run through their heads. Let’s just simply get back to basics and improve the relationship with our thoughts, basically ourselves. With practice the act of spending time with ourselves will becomes easier and more enjoyable. Make more time in your schedule for you.

(The study was conducted by Timothy Wilson was published in Science Magazine, 2014)

http://www.appy-geek.com/Web/ArticleWeb.aspx?regionid=1&articleid=25485335&m=d 

http://www.theverge.com/2014/7/4/5870573/rather-electrocute-ourselves-than-be-alone-with-thoughts 

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2014-07/uov-dsi063014.php

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/07/03/most-men-would-rather-shock-themselves-than-be-alone-with-their-thoughts/

6 Tips on How to Reverse Your Inner Critic

Ever wondered why the voice in your head doesn't like you, doesn't support you or doesn't trust you? Do you want to live fighting yourself?

You are not alone. Everyone experiences inner self-critical statements.

I was always thought that those people who put themselves down if something was not going right was normal. Maybe I was wrong. For so long growing up I'd beat myself up emotionally and rip myself into little pieces even when things were going right. Over time, I learned that this self-flagellation never did anything good for me, except spiral me down into a darker place, making it harder to crawl back up to the surface each time it occurred.

A side effect of listening to my inner critic in my head was an erosion of my self-confidence, self-esteem self value and even my worth.  The more I listened the more I in suffered and it gained power over the way I thought, felt and reacted toward myself, others and possible events.

Throughout my lifetime I was criticized a lot from family members and others I had an emotional attachment with. What I did not understand was that due to the close emotional attachment I had to others allowed the criticisms to bypass my perceptual filters and embedded themselves into my subconscious as mind code.  These criticisms from others became the content that formed my core beliefs about myself. Then the core beliefs generated a critical voice in my mind that torture me daily with statements like “you’re not good enough”, “you don’t deserve to be loved” and “you will always fail at what you do”.

As a result growing up I have always subjected myself to self-doubts, fears and negative messages that came front and center when I thought of engaging into something or in a relationship with someone.

Sometimes I was able ignored those messages and I could accomplish things in my life. During those times I marveled at my ability to quiet my critical voice. But the majority of the times I couldn't These messages evoked very strong emotion in me and governed my responses. Now that I have grown older I have a term for those self-messages and that is my inner critic.

Now after years of working on myself and helping others as a therapist and coach I respect my inner critic. I grew to understand that everyone has an inner critic and experience critical thoughts. Whew!! I am not alone or not defective. My inner critic is that inner judgmental part that carries statements that were said to me during my life or beliefs I form about myself due to life events experiences I went through that evoked a strong emotion in relationship to my character or performance. I found out the reason these inner statements or beliefs stuck to me was that I emotionally identified with them. Also grew to know that “you” statement in time became “I” statements. For example, “you are not smart enough”, over time became “I am not smart enough”.

Through my years of coaching I found that my clients really identified the term inner critic. In asking them to write down all the statements their inner critic said to them I got a litany of nasty comments which they heard in their heads.

Here are a few more inner critical statements you might identify with:

You shouldn't do that.

You're unworthy.

You always do things wrong.

You're a loser.

You’re failure.

No one will ever love you.

You're fat.

You're ugly.

You will never amount to nothing.

I recently watched a story on Joe Torre. I did not know but he grew up in an abusive home due to an abusive father who criticized him all the time. Even with his dark past he worked hard in sports and achieved many awards. He attained MVP as a player 8 times, 9 times all star player and one MVP batting title. Joe went on to become one of the most successful baseball coaches in the history of baseball winning 2326, and won 4 World Series as a coach. He stated that the most important aspect of coaching was to make sure his players respected him.

So even with elements of criticism directed toward you from an early beginning there is the power of self that can triumph over those criticisms and you can move toward a position of positiveness. You do not have to live with the negative content of your inner critic. Change can be had. You have the power to construct new content and thoughts, practice them and most of all connect a positive emotion to your new thoughts, if you acquire the right tool or learning to accomplish this objective. Make them your own, feel them and then live them as your truth.

In other words, if you change inner critic thoughts, by recognizing and denying the old self-messages and beliefs, your inner code will change, success can be yours and then you will move forward with inner support. What I found out was that the act of talking to yourself is normal but it was the nature of the content which was not. Inner talk should be more lighthearted, positive and supportive so a positive mental environment can be created that allows you an incredible amount of inner breathing room for you to be more flexible with yourself, grow, expand, and explore all of life’s possibilities.

Your inner critic can be so harsh and self-defeating toward you in your head and sometimes you express those statements out loud. I personally know that it was hard for friends to watch me hurt yourself with my words. Now I have learned to love, motivate and support myself with my words rather than hurt myself. 

Do you want to gain control of that voice in your head?

Well here are 6 tips on how you can calm your inner voice and change the content to become more fulfilled. 

1. Get to know your inner voice, its tone, and its intentions.

Activate your observer self and listen to what it is saying in your head. Listen from a third party perspective as if you are hearing it on the radio and write each statement down. Recognize that each are old statements repeating the criticism that was directed toward you as you grew up by people in your life, and society (media). The most impact came from your family who you grew up around. Some of the criticism was to ensure your emotional and physical safety or make you a “strong person”. Understand your mind does not have or express feelings, it just records the words and repeats them through your inner critic. Replay is always automatic.

2. Go deep in your mind and take time to evaluate your inner critic statements; go deep inside.

Explore each critical statement and determine if you truly deserve the negativism, doubt, self-limiting thoughts or criticism. Let your mind help you validate whether these self-critical statement are true or false. Also note next to each critical statement who in your life said it and the situation or event where it occurred. The more you know the less power the critical statement has. Find proof to why the criticism is wrong or not true. When you find it, you will create a crack in that thought pattern and dissipate its power and influence. But that alone is not enough to break it open and get it to release.

3. Make a realistic plan to correct your inner critic.

List three things you can do to raise your self-worth.

These can be as simple as creating new statements…“I deserve to love me” or “I deserve to look at myself in the mirror and identify things I like about myself”. Once you have created new statements then repeat them to yourself ten times a day for 90 days.

The trick to success in your plan is that these 3 things need to be specific, measurable and feel doable to you. Once you develop your plans, it becomes your action plan and you need to give it life.

4. Stick with the program.

Accept and feel a deep obligation for your action plan. Follow through daily for 90 days. You need to now accept that you are in charge of how you think about yourself, believe about yourself, what you are capable of and how you perform.  

I find that I get the best results and most success when I keep track of it. Track yourself through keeping a journal that way you will be able to see your commitment day by day for those 90 days. Keeping track of what I do daily helps me to recognize when I fall off and motivates me to get back on track.

5. Hang out with people who think positive and supportive and make you feel comfortable.

These are the people who see and experience you in a positive light, support you and as you really are. Let people who love you reflect the real you back to you. Start hanging out with people who could use support and reflect back to them how you see them in a positive light. Practice the balance of receiving and giving positive statements.

6. Realize that you have the power to command respect from your inner critic.

Give yourself permission. Understand that your inner critic has been attempting in protecting you be it through doubt, negative and critical statements. But don't let inner critic influence your life or direct your thoughts. Earn respect from your mind by forming your own thoughts and determining your own mindset. You have that power. Once you decide this, the rest is pretty much practice and more patience.

After Thoughts

If you follow the 6 tips above you can reverse your inner critic's content, alter the way inner critic talks to you, gain more control, and produce more positive thoughts. If you follow through your work will translate into a happier and more successful life.

You can change your mind code from self-limiting and self-defeating to positive and self-supporting with the 30 Day Challenge in one month. Start today!

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http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/ for Life Coaching

 and

http://www.williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/ for Trauma Issues.

                               

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