Strategies for eliminating an undesirable habit

Seems like breaking an old undesirable habit is insurmountable because once you are comfortable with it, changing or eliminating it can be very frightening and extremely uncomfortable.. The problem with a habit is that the origination of it is probably not known to the person who created it. Therefore the strong need to perform activities or thoughts over and over just seems to come out from nowhere. 

For a long time a habit had a negative connotation and were connected to negative or damaging stuff like addictions. Yet habits can be good, healthy, positive and achievable. Especially since humans are instinctively creators of habit.

What is a habit?

A habit is literally just a thought or action that you practice over and over that eventually become automatic. A habit is those things, actions, emotions or thoughts that you do without thinking. Habits can be good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.

I‘m a big fan of paying attention to habits, both habitual behavior and thoughts. Some habits are intentional to live smoother and happier in life. However some habits aren't even in your consciousness. Most of your habits are generated from your subconscious mind.

Most limiting behaviors or self-defeating thoughts that keep you miserable about yourself and life are generated by one or more of your subconscious habits. Thoughts drive decisions and decisions strongly influence behaviors, emotions and reactions. Practice an action, a thought or feeling often enough and it will become a habit. Over time it will become embedded in the subconscious and rule your life.

For instance, if you constantly entertain anxious and worry thoughts about not having enough happiness, you'll create behaviors based on those fears. You'll push people away that could bring you happiness and draw people toward you that criticize or judge you.

Let me ask you three questions about your habits

Habits can interfere with you gaining more success, inner peace or happiness. So take a moment right now and answer these questions honestly for the benefit of yourself.

        1. Which of your habits suck up your time and energy?
        2. Which habits do you have that do not serve you positively?

        3. Why do I continue a habit that affects your life in negative
             way and does not serve you emotionally, mentally or 
             physically?

 If you didn't answer the questions, you probably have a habit of procrastination and you put off change or are afraid to form powerful new habits.

Here are some habits which can stop you from achieving what you want:

Checking email too many times a day

Watching almost every video or reading every post sent to you on Facebook

Reading or searching for articles that you feel would answer your problems, but don’t

Ruminating over and over about what you could have done in the past

Procrastinating

Constantly focusing on disappointments

Mentally attempting to fix what went wrong in your past

Responding to anxious or stressful situations that have not happened yet

Thinking why you can't get what you want all the time

Worrying about the wrongs done to you or what happened to you in your past

Mindset Shift

Now shift your mindset and become more mindful of your habits. 

Think of habits you can create that would serve you now and you could start today. There is no time like the moment to start to change old habits into new healthy habits. Stop spending your time ruminating about "what you can’t do" and start putting new positive behaviors, emotions or thoughts into action. The more you put something into action the greater skill level you acquire, the more confidence you will attain.

One benefit of creating a positive habit is that habituation takes less energy and can be embedded into your subconscious mind in 7 days. At first you have to be very conscious of your new action and doing the new thing everyday. Repetition is the key to to habit formation.

Here are some healthy habit strategies that would support development:

Take a daily 20-minute walks to clear my head before practicing the new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Believe that you have the answers for you in you

Be mindful of the moment and enjoy 

Meditate for 5 minutes a day to reduce the chatter in your head and practicing purposeful breathing sometime after you have practiced your new behavior, emotion or thought you want to install

Set intentions for your day within the first hour you're awake

Exercise or go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Create specific goals in all areas of your life. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable and time lined

Create and write out a weekly schedule to keep you on track and accountable

Listening to a calming or uplifting music CD to reduce the judgmental sounds of your inner critic and it negative influences it generally has on you

Limit your time on electronic devices during the day

Be good to yourself by rewarding yourself once a day even if it is only a positive thought about you

Pat yourself on the back for just the effort you are taking in the right direction.

Notice and acknowledge what you are doing right

Celebrate all successes not matter how small the changes

Commit to doing whatever it takes to do the task in the first 30 days

Also in forming and installing your new habits you can break them down into small or big habits. Your mindset and personal beliefs will dictate what is best for you in the moment. 

I like to create small and big habits when I want to increase my success of intended change. Why? The small habits keep me grounded by practicing over and over again on a daily basis in 30 days. The small habits create change quickly and are easy to accomplish. For instance forming a habit of walking I hour every day. First start with beginning of walking, say five minutes. If you focus on walking a full hour in the beginning it can be overwhelming. Walk for five minutes for a couple of weeks until it becomes firmly installed as a behavior. In the next couple of weeks expand to 30 minutes. Finally lengthen your walk to one hour. The last step should be no problem because the walk has become a habit. Start small and build into a bigger habit.

The big habits help me to have something to shoot for going forward in a longer time period. The big habits create change slower but tend to be more motivating. Big habits are powerful for me because they enhance term committed to producing a new habit. This strategy isn't ideal for everyone.

Understand that initially installing a habit is not energy free. It will cost you. To form a new habit will cost you awareness, commitment, effort, responsibility.

I have discovered the more I practice anything the quicker I achieve and the faster adapt the action as mine. Another benefit is through repetitiveness the more confidence I develop with that activity. The other thing that is important is not to expect to do the habit perfectly. Expecting perfection is the killer of creating, developing or forming anything new. Expecting perfection will cause you to abandon your efforts quicker than anything else you will encounter.

Finally ask yourself:

What in your life gives you extreme joy and fulfillment?

What healthy habit would you replace an old one with that would radically change my life?

Short-term program to help you form healthy habits quicker

You have probably heard that it takes 30 days of repeating an action or thought before it becomes a habit. Well that is the truth. You can change way you think and behave in just one month. Free you need to know the secret. The secret is that all your thoughts and actions are influenced and generated by how your mind is coded. The 30 Day Life Changing Challenge can unlock your code and help you to achieve a whole new way of thinking and behaving. Change your code in just one month and be a new you.

Go to www.MakingaPositiveChange.com and click on the 30 Day Challenge and find out what the program can do for you. FREE Mini Challenge 

Life Is like a Sport

Sports and life are the same in many ways.

In a sport if you do not feel internally in balance, meaning you have not done everything you can to prepared yourself to do your best then your self esteem, energy, focus and motivation will not be at peak level. You will be off balance. You will not perform to your expectations and doubt in the form of second guessing your ability will enter your mind and the opponent will have the mental edge.

So in life the same holds true. If you have not gained the skills you want and desire to achieve a given goal whether it is in a job, money, relationship or creating a vision, you will not have the confidence to succeed.  Confidence is knowing you are good at a skill. The higher your skill level the greater your confidence.

View life as a game and each aspect of life as a different sport. Like communication is one sport, relationships is another and so on. Recognize the skills you need for each one, find a mentor that can help you gain it and develop discipline by practicing daily, and the result will be increased confidence, focus and motivation. The more time you put into practicing each skill the better you feel about your performance, the great your internal balance will be.

Learn more by going to Dr. Bill's website

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

If you have ever been in therapy or life coaching you know how important personal boundaries are to have. Many do not understand or how to create boundaries. Unfortunately even when you learn them, putting them into action is another thing.

What are Boundaries?

Simply put, boundaries are like a "job description". With healthy boundaries you can ensure your personal safety and protection when you are with other people. Without boundaries you are vulnerable and unprotected. Others will think that they can do, make you do or say anything whatever to you and you will accept it. 

Basically boundaries are an invisible but a clear line between what you will do or not do, what you will allow and not allow,and what you will accept and not accept. Boundaries convey to others what your limits are. 

Believe it or not other people are happy when they know what your limits are. It helps them to know how to treat you.

6 Types of Boundaries

There are many different types of personal boundaries. Here are just a few:

Emotional

Mental

Physical 

Sexual

Spiritual

Environmental

If you don't have them what does that mean?

Sometimes the lack of boundaries is merely a sign of a deeper problem: confidence, esteem, feeling undeserving and unworthiness.

2 Quick Tips on Setting Up Boundaries

1. How you want to be treated.

Write a list of all the things you will not accept from others or do with as well as for other people in each of the type of boundaries mentioned above.

For example: "I will not accept you using anger toward me when you talk to me."

2. Set a Consequence

When you set a boundary be sure to attach a consequence. 

For example: If you talk to me like that I will walk away." 
Consequences tells other people what you will do if they break your personal boundaries. Be sure if you set up consequences, when they break them you follow through with the consequence.

After Thoughts

To be healthy in mind, body and spirit, you need to have strong positive personal boundaries. Boundaries help you to make positive changes in your life and know what you stand for.

Learn More at Dr. Bill's website