6 Tips on Editing Thinking

Ever wish you could just edit your mind like you edit you documents on your computer? Make your mind produce thoughts you like? Have you ever pondered why you say some of the things you say unintentionally, think the strange thoughts, act in a way that are inappropriate with who you are, respond incorrectly to the situations, or why you are just uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you wish that you could just edit your mind and make it produce thoughts you like?

Do you ever question if thoughts is sabotage your identity, your careers, relationships, or fulfillment as well as your future successes? If your answer is yes or sometimes, there is a strong possibility your identity and how you function in life is caused by your mind script.

You are so connected to your thoughts that you often think your thoughts are the core of your identity. But while your thoughts are undeniably connected to you, your true relationship with your thoughts is much more complicated than that. The truth is ... it is not your thoughts which drive your identity and life it is your mind script.

Tracing the roots of your thoughts to their deepest layers of your mind can be extremely beneficial and can help you more compassionate toward yourself and why you think the way you do.  The origination of your thoughts could help you to deal with anxieties, phobias and neuroses.

Yet focusing too much on your thoughts, where they come from and your need to control them (especially the disturbing ones), can throw you off in your search for the root of your identity. In fact, the more you focus on your thoughts for the answer, the more you do not find the answer and distance yourself from you. Over focusing on them does not give thoughts more legitimacy, influence and solidity. Believe it or not, your thoughts do not over rule your emotions and actions.

What drives your identity?

Do you feel like everything that you say and do is predetermined? You are normal if you think that way. Your thoughts are not the driver of your identity but only the passenger. Your thoughts are just a part of the big picture ...  they are more like the tip of the iceberg. Thoughts are only the by-product of the script that is written deep within your mind as you grow up and form an identity. The truth is your conscious mind can only believe, do, feel, react, or think as a result of what is written in your mind script. Nothing more and nothing less.  Meaning you or your identity is only a manifestation of your mind script.

What is mind script?

Mind script, also termed mind code, starts being written at the time your brain activates before you are born. Once activated, your brain records your history. This recording ability is called memory. Memory or the recording of your history is one small aspect of your total brain function. Unknown to you, in another compartment of your brain, mind script is being written.

Mind script? What is that? Even though you think your thoughts are created by you and you are in control of them, you really are not. Sometimes your thoughts seem to be completely out of control, and you feel like you are just tagging along for the ride. You mind script is data collected by your mind throughout all your experiences in your life and imprinting them on your subconscious mind. This data is used to form your core beliefs, messages you form about yourself from your experiences. It is your core beliefs that supply content for you inner voice, which can be critical or supportive. Then it is the flavor and perception of your inner voice that produces you thoughts. It is essence of your thoughts then governs whether your emotions and actions are motivating or self-limiting and self-defeating. No one sees this process until your script is revealed in your emotions and behaviors which others see.  

Mind script is the result of ongoing imprinting and embedding of life data which is gathered from every experience you have. This data is a systematic collection of all your beliefs formed about yourself, others and the world. Mind script also records all your biases, doubts, expectations, fears, instructions, likes, dislikes, messages, procedures, promises, regulations and rules. The embedded data develops into a script, a written code that constantly runs silently in the background, deep within your subconscious mind and govern who and how you will be. Simply it governs your identity. This script or step by step operating code manages, determines and influences who you are, what you say, how you react … meaning it is the script which controls and determines your identity.

How does mind script express itself in your life?

Your mind script expresses itself eventually through your beliefs, and it is your beliefs which influence your thoughts directly. Then indirectly your behaviors, emotions and reactions form from your thoughts.

How does it happen?

Let’s take it one step at a time. It is your mind script or mind code that becomes the data base or foundation for the development of your identity. Your code directly influences how your core beliefs will be formed. At that point, it is your core beliefs which send content (negative or positive, good or evil, right or wrong, doubts or positive information, etc.) to your inner voice in your head. The flavor of the content of your core beliefs governs whether you have an inner voice that is critical or supportive. It is your inner voice that defines the type of thoughts you think. The essence of your thoughts then governs whether your emotions and actions are motivating or self-limiting and self-defeating. It is your emotions and behaviors which others see.  

6 Tips on How to Edit Your Thinking


1. List all the beliefs you have about yourself. 

2. Recognize which of your beliefs about yourself are beneficial and which are not beneficial.

3. Make a mark next to the core beliefs you want to change. 

4. Edit the content by writing a new core beliefs. 

5. Say each one out loud with emotion 

6. Repeat your new list 2 times a day for 67 days. First time when you first wake up and 2nd time 
    just before you close your eyes to go to sleep.

In changing your core beliefs, your brain automatically rewrite its script. Once the script is changed, your thinking will alter and finally down the road your identity will change.

Takeaway

It is your mind script which is the root and true predictor of your identity. So what you do, how you outwardly display, feel, say, think, and react to, is always a manifestation of your mind script or mind code in the end.

So when dark thoughts arise, recognize them, grab them by the tail, and follow the thoughts back from your inner voice to the core belief where they originated. 

Don't let your script be the master of your identity. Be the architect of your script, and you will be the master of your identity. Your identity is not rigid or unchangeable. In fact it is flexible. Take back your ability to change.

If you need more help in rewriting your mind script in order to remove negative, self-limiting and self-sabotaging thinking, be brave and reach out. Don’t let your mind script destroy your ability to get what you want out of life. 

Be my guest and take the free Mini Mind Changing Challenge. 

See if you are a candidate for the 30 Day Challenge which will assist you in edit your mind script in just ONE MONTH.

                                      

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5 Tips that will Change Your Inner Voice Positive

I have lived my whole life with an inner voice that would judge me, berate me and well, was generally mean to me. Come to find out that there is an inner voice is present in everyone. Whew!! I am not alone.

I know that I am not crazy or having auditory hallucinations. I know that everyone has an inner voice. Sometimes it is beneficial and sometimes it can be critical, judgmental, tormenting voice in their head. Growing up mine was the latter. 

I call that self-talk voice in my head, my inner critic. Growing up I always was subjected to negative self-messages in my head which came front and center into my conscious thoughts constantly. I attempted to fight my inner critic by ignoring those messages. It never worked. The more I fought it the louder it would become. I took the statements to heart and felt I was just not good enough or not capable. I was never able to quiet my inner voice down. That inner voice was always loud and clear, and I couldn't just shut out its mean messages. Why? Because it struck at my heart by evoking so much emotion in me. I could never tame it. My inner critic controlled me and my life, I didn't control it.

What I learned later in life is that I didn’t just naturally hate myself. The content feeding my inner critic came from what I was told about me from my parents, siblings and other people in my life.

You're not alone

Your inner critic or your self-talk voice in your head which never seems to be silent or go away is actually normal. It doesn't go away because believe it or not your inner voice is you talking to you. Your inner critic or your voice in your head for some reason happens to be very negative toward you because your beliefs about yourself are negative. The way it talks to you in your head is just the way you feel about or doubt yourself. If it is negative is because you believe you are not worth be positive.

Your inner critic expresses critical, doubtful, hurtful, judgmental, and negative statements as well as using mean and ugly words at times.

Is these bad? Yes. On one hand this process is negative because you constantly second guess or doubt your decisions 24/7. On the other hand this voice is only attempting to protect you in a weird way and keep you from harm or doing wrong.

Where does it get its material?

Your inner critic’s content comes from your core beliefs which formed about you and your character, during your life experiences. The reason these caustic core beliefs and statements stick in your subconscious mind is because of your emotional attachments you had to someone or something. Your core beliefs may also been formed and embedded into your subconscious mind because of an emotional charge you felt in a past situation you experienced.

Do Your Inner Critic Statements Control Your Life?

Through my years of coaching, I found that my clients really identified with the term “inner critic.” In asking them to write down all the statements his or her inner critic said to them, I got a litany of nasty comments which he or she heard in their head. The critical internal voice or “the judge” depletes our energy, diminishes our self-worth, contributes to hopelessness, makes you sad and distracts us from taking positive steps.

The inner voice as a judge: condemns, punishes, and berates creating negative self-messages.

Here are Twelve (12) common inner critic statements. Can you identify with any of these?

You don't deserve anything.
You are a loser.
You will never amount to anything.
You’re defective.
You are hopeless and less than others.
You will never have what you want.
You're not worth it.
No one will ever want you.
You do everything wrong.
You will amount to nothing.
No one will ever want you.
You're a bad person and there's no hope for you.

The Joe Torre Story

I recently watched a story on Joe Torre. I didn’t know it, but he grew up in an abusive home with an abusive father who criticized him endlessly. Even with his dark past, he worked hard in sports and achieved many awards. He attained MVP as a player 8 times, 9 times he was an all-star player, and he received one MVP batting title. Joe went on to become one of the most winning coaches in the history of baseball winning 2,326 games, and he won 4 World Series games as a coach. He stated that the most important aspect of coaching was to make sure his players respected him.

So even with elements of criticism touted at from an early beginning, there is the incredible power of self that can triumph over adversity and move toward the position of a positive outlook. You do not have to live with the negative messages from your inner critic. Change can be had. Construct new thoughts, practice them, and most of all, connect an emotion with your new thoughts. Then live it. Make these new thoughts your own.

How to Cultivate an Inner Voice to be a Supporter

In other words, if you consciously change the content of your inner critic’s then your thoughts will change. You can do this by recognizing your inner judging voice and denying the old messages and beliefs it expresses. Therefore changing your inner critic into your inner supporter by making your inner voice your friend, not enemy. First change your mindset to accept your inner voice. 

Then accept these beliefs.

Believe you can find a solution and accomplish what you want.
Believe you can have faith in yourself.
Believe you can do anything.
Believe there is hope. 
Believe you are a winner.
Believe you are worthy and good enough.

5 Tips on turning your inner voice to positive

1. Stop ignoring your inner voice

Get to know your inner critic, its tone of voice, and its intentions. Ignoring it doesn’t reduce its influence or make it go away. Use your observer self. Listen to what your inner voice says. Listen as though you are another person, from a third party perspective as if you are hearing it on the radio. Write each statement down. Recognize whether each statement is an old criticism which is no longer true or an outright lie which was said to you at some point in your life by other people.

The most impactful criticisms tend to come from your closest family and friends to whom you were emotionally attached. Determine whether some of those negative statements were meant to hurt you, or were they trying ensure your emotional and physical safety or possibly to make you a “stronger person.” Know that your mind does not have or express feelings, it just records the words, forms beliefs about you, and repeats them back through your inner critic.

Let your mind help you validate whether the content of your self-critical voice is true or false. Next to each statement note who in your life said it and the situation or event where it occurred. The more you understand about each statement, the less power and influence the critical content has. Discover proof of why each criticism is wrong and unfounded. Once you find the real truth of each, you will create a crack in its content and dissipate its power and influence.

2. Correct each inner critic statement

Once you have completed #1, take another piece of paper and make a list of positive statements that correspond to each negative statement. This list will counteract each bit of critical content in those original critical statements. This new list is intended to increase your confidence, self-esteem, and value in yourself by changing the content of your inner voice.

It can be as simple as creating a new content statement from “You deserve nothing,” to “You deserve to be worthy,” or “You deserve to look at yourself in the mirror and love who you are.” Once you have created these new statements, repeat the statements to yourself ten times a day for 90 days. Also make a promise that you will do them every day, and set up a schedule.

The trick to success is to embed these new positive statements by repeating them with emotion. If you repeat them without emotion, the statements will not embed themselves.

Once you develop your new positive statements and begin repeating your new list daily, you need to give it life. You give them life by believing in them and manifesting their content into your life.

3. Do not falter on your consistency

Be mindful of your deep obligation for your plan of action. Follow through daily by repeating your new list of positive statements for 90 days. You need to accept and change your mindset.
Your new mindset should be positive. Remember that you are in charge of yourself. You are in command of what you believe about yourself, how you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself, what your capabilities are, and knowing that you will perform successfully.

Best results can be achieved by keeping track of how many times you repeat your new list on each day. Track yourself by keeping a journal of your progress. That way you will be able to see that you are following through on your commitment. You will notice the changes that are occurring and how you feel, day after day for 90 days. Keeping track of what you do daily will help you to recognize what you are doing that works and when you fall off in your commitment. When you have mindfulness about what is happening, it will give you motivation to stay on track.

4. Surround yourself with people who think positive, are supportive of you, and make you feel comfortable

Be around people who see and experience you in a positive light. Seek out people who support your positive efforts and mindfulness and have the same vision of you that you now have. Let people who care about you reflect the real you back to you. Start hanging out with people who could use support and need your positive reflection back on them. Practice the balance of receiving and giving positive content to each other. Live in a positive light.

5. Earn respect from your inner critic by expressing your personal authority and power

Understand that your inner critic has been attempting to protect you, but the content from formed core beliefs was feeding your inner critic a steady diet of critical, doubtful and negative content from past experiences. 

It is your personal authority … don’t let your inner critic influence your life or the content of your thoughts. Earn respect from your mind by forming your own beliefs and thoughts about yourself. You have that power. Once you decide this, the rest is pretty much practice, practice, more practice and patience.

Afterthoughts

If you follow these suggestions above, you can positively alter the content of your inner critic and the change will alter your thinking to positive. Changing your inner self talk to positive will change your self talk into an inner sponsor. You can also gain mental peace, calmness, and support resulting in a more positive and fulfilled you, therefore your brave new vision of yourself will manifest in your life.

Coach Bill                                  

Visit my website for more information and click here for a free ebook.

6 Tips on Making Healthy Connections

Humans innately need to be connected to self, others and community. Humans invest increasing amounts time and effort in forming and maintaining connections. Sometimes we look at the amount of connections we have as a sign of who we are. More and more connections define our identity, happiness, fulfillment and status.

Without connection in our lives with feel a sense of loss and emptiness. Feelings of strong fear, loss and solitude over take us. We have an innate desire to be connected to others, to family and to community thinking it will enhance our confidence, well being and balance. Yet when our connection to self, family, community or society vanishes a strong sense emptiness sets in.  Without connection our self-confidence dwindles, fears increase, negative thoughts surge and anxiety surfaces which leads to serious self-worth issues. Once we become conscious of the emptiness emerges, a strong powerful need to seek a replacement for our lost connections erupts, no matter what it is.

At that point, we will attach to anything, good or bad, human or non-human, to fill that empty space. A bad connection is better than not having a connection at all. Research has shown that the majority of people don't like to be will ourselves, alone. One of the things that is commonly sought to fill emptiness is an attachment or connection to a substance or inappropriate relationships. We seek other replacements such as a behaviors, emotions, objects or thoughts.

The Result of Emptiness

An initial outgrowth when emptiness is felt  is disconnection anxiety. Disconnection anxiety is a term used to describe intense painful feelings due to a lack of connect with self, with family, community or being a value to society. The more losses we experience the more disconnection anxiety becomes increasingly prevalent. There are specific issues that also arise besides anxiety such as:

+ Tension                                                         + Fears

+ Confusion                                                     + Feeling less than

+ Surfacing of negative beliefs                        + Loss of feelings of worth 

+ Feeling of a loss of freedom                         + Feeling a loss of uniqueness

+ Feelings of discomfort                                  + Feeling disconnected from everyone 
                                                                             and everything

6 Tips that Tell You, You are Disconnected

If you suspect you may be experiencing an unhealthy level of anxiety or a low sense of self-worth associated with loss of connection then consider the following criteria to determine if you might be vulnerable to form an unhealthy or inappropriate connection.

1. Significance 

How significant is your need to be connected to something to have a sense of self-worth? Does you need to fill an emptiness due to a need for external validation? Do you gauge “self-importance” by how many connections you have someone or something even if the connection is harmful? Is the connection you turned to stopping you from doing other things that are healthy? Maybe your priorities have become skewed. Be sure to check where your self-worth is coming from. Self-worth should come from inside yourself, not outside from others.

2. Reward Response

Does being connected to someone or something make you feel better or more in control? Does not being “a part of” make you feel worse? Be aware that you can sense a positive “payoff” even if you are excessively connected to something unhealthily. Do you connect to anything just to feel in control even if you are not? Impulsive connections just to get a reward rush can obscure the activity negative consequences.

3. Can't Let Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Do you find yourself interacting with unhealthy connections just to feel connected? If you feel compelled to always say “I just can't stop,” carving out more and more space in your life for spending more time in a unhealthy connection. The major question becomes, are you spending more time forming an unhealthy relationships? What other important, healthy, fulfilling or meaningful connections are you excluding or diminishing? Check to see if you are lying to yourself about being in an unhealthy relationship more than not.

4. Abstaining 
  
Do you feel anxious, afraid or excessively worried if you cannot participate in your unhealthy connection or even the thought of not doing it? One way to gauge how important your unhealthy connection is or the degree of toxicity it holds is when you consider doing without it. The higher the level of denial, fear, anxiety or pain you anticipate, the stronger the hold the unhealthy connection has over you and the more you feel a loss of control. The more you stay in denial the more your unhealthy connection becomes.

5. Distraction 

Has the excessive focus and involvement with your unhealthy connection disrupted your life and relationships, causing interpersonal or personal conflicts over your unhealthy relationships?

6. Reverting 

Do you often say to yourself “I am determined to invest less of my time in my unhealthy connection” only to turn around, defend it, and then spend more time in it? This is an indication that the unhealthy connection is gaining more power over your time and focus. Your attempt to fill your emptiness may have become toxic. A toxic connection can cause real damage to your self-worth, relationships, and career as well as your physical, emotional and mental health.

1 Major Tip for Change

The solution of avoiding the possibility of seeking a behavior, emotion, object, substance or thought to fill the emptiness is to make sure you have solid connection to yourself. If you solidify your connection with yourself it will reduce the possibility of filling that hole with someone or something that could turn out to be very toxic in the long run. 

After Thoughts

Try working on identifying all your connections you value and rebuffing losses which have made you feel empty, feel less than, or not good enough in order to counter the effects of situations of loss. Ultimately, you have the power and control to determine what connections are good and healthy for you, and which are just and impulse to plug a feeling of being disconnected or empty. You have the ability to build a community of supportive connections that will add joy, happiness and positive content in the long-term. Being connected to yourself and with others is what allows you to feel valued and fulfilled.

Visit my website or mobile site on your phone (www.drbilltollefson.com) or more information on programs that could help you achieve what you want.

Click here for my free eBook.

                                       

26 Quotes to Help You Make a Positive Change

Making a positive change inside yourself is the key to manifesting a positive and fulfilling life outside. It is your personal power through knowledge and understanding that shifts your mindset toward a positive self and aids you at achieving what you want out of life. Research has shown that new learning, processing and forming new knowledge keeps your brain young.  

Here are some quotes that will strengthen your knowledge and understanding in making a positive change in you and allows you to manifest a new you. If you believe in positiveness of yourself, you no longer need outside validation to feel fulfilled. 


“Change comes from being the bishop and architect of your         mind.”

“Inconsistent efforts produces inconsistent results. Positive           efforts produce positive results.”

“Life changing experiences come from strengthening your           connection with yourself.”

“A positive and healthy mind assures a healthy Soul.” 

“Whatever you carry inside yourself is manifested on the             outside yourself. Be sure you are carrying positiveness”

“To attain a positive life, make sure your mind, heart and             intuition are internally connected.” 

“Can’t live a positive life with a negative mindset.”

“Change is not possible for someone who is content with pain.”

“Acceptance of self is the main ingredient to a positive life.”

“A positive effect on how you feel and think is directly                   correlated to the beliefs you have about yourself.”

“An intuitive life is when you do not entertain negative around     you.”  

“Awareness and knowledge of yourself is the source of                   empowerment”

“Yesterday was a lesson, today is real and tomorrow may not       turn out the way you predict. Live in the moment.”

“Happiness without recognition is a loss of a good experience gone unrecognized.”

“The key to personal success is the acquisition and mastery of     positive skills.”

“Positiveness in yourself will flourish if feed it daily.”

“Believe in yourself completely, and take nothing negative from   others. If negative is presented then just walk away with             pride!”

“Feeling your emotions fully without judgment is a positive         personal strength and skill.”

“Negative thoughts clouds your ability to view yourself with         positiveness and compassion.” 
  
“Don’t suppress a negative inner voice, rather change its               perspective of you.”

“A master teaches, enlightens and empowers from experience.     Be your own master.”

“Can’t be everything to everybody, but you can be all you need   to yourself.”

“Making a positive change is not finding the part of you, you       think you lost. Making a positive change is about creating a       new you.”

“Empowerment is not finding the parts of you thought you lost,   rather embracing yourself in the moment you found and             reconnected with all of you.”

“I can’t change the day but I can certainly change this                   moment.”

“Being positive, connected and compassionate to yourself is the   ultimate expression of love.”

                                                   

About the Author:  

Dr. William Tollefson, Ph.D. is a Certified Master Life, Post-Trauma and Holistic Addiction Recovery Coach who teaches others to accomplish whatever him or her want to do and inspire to complete it. 

He has authored of 2 books entitled: Separated From the Light (A Path Back from Psychological Trauma) and his newest Personal Philosophy. Dr. Bill has numerous articles on a variety of topics from making a positive change to healing survivors of childhood and/or adulthood abuse and trauma, which can be found here on the HubPages.  Additionally, he is on YouTube, Pinterest  and two blogs: Trauma, DID, and Addiction  and for Life Coaching.   

Please visit his website and accept his gift of his eBook Personal Philosophy. 

5 Tips on Mastering Your Mind

Are you just existing and not enjoying life? Are you only managing your issues and problems? The mistake about managing your issues problem is it doesn’t always go or workout the way you want. Sometimes or most of the time, you are not really aware of the barriers that are blocking you. 

There is a possibility that you are conscious of being inundated by negative beliefs or thoughts. You do not have to live being overwhelmed by negative beliefs or thoughts. There is a way to create a positive pattern of beliefs which result in more encouraging thoughts.

Negative beliefs about yourself formed over time and obsessing on negative thoughts are not helpful, but then you knew that already, didn’t you? In fact, you probably know that your negative beliefs are stopping you from getting what you want. Attempting to ignore negative beliefs or shut them down is counter intuitive. The more you resist a self-limiting or negative belief, actually gives them more power. The more you remind yourself to stop the over thinking or obsessing about them, the more they will be in the forefront of your consciousness. Feelings of anxiety and disappointment will follow because you have failed to stop them. You can’t mentally power your way out of a negative belief or negative thought, because they are a manifestation of a deeper belief. It doesn’t work that way. It will only make it worse.

If you are still reading, then you are wondering what you can do about it. I would like to suggest some tips you could use to calm those beliefs and thoughts.

5 Tips on How to Master Your Mind

1. Focused Interference

Set up a go-to acceptable thought to interfere with the negative belief or thought which will diminish the power of a negative beliefs. Having an alternative good thought to focus on is better than letting your mind wander freely. Why? Because aimless mind wandering is directly associated with weakness. Allowing your mind wander unencumbered is fruitless task. It is better to concentrate on an idea, a song, a book passage, a quote or a specific task. Have something prepared gives you a sense of power. Make a plan to immediately shift when negative beliefs or thoughts pop up.

2. Schedule to Obsess Later

Self-defeating beliefs or negative thoughts are not like an unwanted visitor who comes to your house and you don’t answer the door. They can’t be ignored. Research suggests stopping self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be done by mentally setting up a “designated time period” to obsess. Chose a time later during the day to entertain them. Postponing your obsessing over self-defeating thoughts or negative beliefs can be very productive and less intrusive during your day.

3. Face Your Negative Beliefs and Self-defeating Thoughts 
    Straight On

This tip is not for the faint of heart. Face and deal with each self-limiting belief and negative thought. Determine if each is real or if they are an illusion. Research suggests that this process can starve off their power. These shadowy thoughts rarely survive the light of direct examination.

4. Be Mindful

Center your mind in the moment by focusing on your breathing or heartbeat for 4 minutes or more. This will promote mindfulness, compassion, and non-judgment towards the unwanted beliefs or thoughts streaming through your consciousness. Being mindful helps to reduce the influence your unwanted thinking patterns have on you than they have over you.

5. Write It Down

Writing a curative and revealing method of change. Writing them down helps you to get those nagging unwanted negative beliefs and self-defeating thoughts out of your mind and down on paper. This method will quell the repetitive anxieties, fears and worries of what might happen in the future which often accompanies unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts. After you write them down then speak them out loud to yourself. Actually hearing out loud your unwanted beliefs and negative thoughts about yourself really reduces their power. In fact, you will come to realize the falsehood or lack of logic they possess. Once you find out that they are false the more quickly you will stop holding on to them.

Take Away

You are not powerless. You have the ability to defeat to these self-limiting thoughts by changing your negative beliefs. These tips will allow you to gather up your personal authority and power while cluttering your mind. You will, therefore, be able to command and create a positive mental environment you have always wanted. Believe in your ability, your skills and believe in yourself. Follow the tips and find the one that works best for you. Maybe you will find out that each tip works for you under different situations. This will allow you to be proactive, positive and your true beliefs about yourself. Create new beliefs about yourself, embrace them and manifest them in your life. This will add support and strength as well as bring a new balance to your life. 

                                           

4 Tips on Clearing Resentments

Many people have been scared emotionally and developed dis-trustfulness toward others. We all have been bullied, harassed, intimidated, and teased or overtly by physical harmed. Prejudice and meanness toward another is prevalent throughout our society and reoccur through all age groups.

It is a normal course over time feel cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt or wronged in a relationship gone wrong. Wanting some type of repayment, get even or revenge is also normal. This process is called resentment.

So let get real about relationships. Are you having relationship difficulties? Do you have difficulty trusting people you are in a relationship with? Do you find yourself unable to emotionally invest in your relationships but you don't know why. There is a possibility that the reason maybe that you have been holding onto resentments from past hurtful relationships for years or maybe even from your childhood that directly impact your ability to invest into relationships.

How resentments affect relationships

What is a resentment? 

We all have gone through situations in our lives where we had been taken advantage of, felt cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt, or wronged in some way. One of the most damaging feelings we carry that block our growth and success is resentments. As a human being we hold ill feelings toward other who we felt wronged us even against ourselves. For the most part we are not even aware of the baggage that we carry from our past events. 

The definition of a resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or ill thoughts, even an ill wish that are formed from an experienced where we felt wronged. We carry these wrongs subconsciously as a result of life events that are real or imagined. These wrongs are formed as a reaction to a life experience where we have perceived to have wronged someone or self and/or think someone has wronged us in one way or another. 

A resentment can cause many intense, reactive emotions such as anger, depression, disappointment, fear, hostility, panic, rage or regret which festers in the subconscious without conscious awareness for which we are not mindful of in the moment. Resentments have a very strong influence on how we relate to ourselves; how we think about others and most of all our behavior. These ill feelings affect the way we allow ourselves to perform in life. Thoughts such as: “I do not deserve anything because of what I have done” or “I am nothing because what was done to me.” This type of thinking eventually becomes a subconscious barrier to our accepting good things and success in our life. 

How do we get them?

You get them in experience you have everyday situations. Resentment form from an unusual high emotional attachment and involvement with another person and situation.  Situations such as relationship breakups, criticism, infidelity, disconnectedness, deep disappointment with another, divorce, embarrassment, and unrequited love……

Why are resentments so important to how we function in relationships?

Resentment can harm you. Resentment can cause you to disconnect from yourself and turn into self-hate. Resentment takes so much energy subconsciously to hold onto that it depletes your personal energy. On all levels, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Resentment can cause you to not trust others and even yourself. They can cause you to form negative core beliefs and self-limiting thoughts that turn into self-sabotaging behavior.

4 Tips on Removing Resentments 

1. Recognize all the wrongs you remember done to you or you feel you have done to yourself and           make a list of them.

2. Identify which are the most important or might have greatest impact on you. Rank them in order         from most hurtful to least.

3. Evaluate each one to whether they are real or imagined. Over           time, much of what you remember diluted in content but fester         in emotional intensity.

4. Lastly get honest and ask yourself:

a) What do you perceive is the benefit for to hanging onto each 
     one of your resentments?

b) What do you want to happen, outcome that you want to before          you are willing to let go?

c) What realistically can you do today about each one?

d) Do you accept yourself, and can you forgive (stop holding onto        it) yourself and then release (don’t live in the past) old wrongs.

1 Quick Way to Remove Resentments from being a Barrier

Resentments are subconscious baggage that keeps you down without your permission.  Resentments are very pervasive and troubling to you. Resentment require a tremendous amount of energy to remain alive.

To make a positive change in your life you have to 1) recognize the baggage that is weighing you down unknowing and 2) that is consuming all your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual energy. You counter it by opening and searching your mind, identifying all your old hurts (major and minor) and putting them in real time but writing them down on paper. 

Take Away

What could be hurting you the most could be beliefs that you have formed about relationships over time that determine how you function in your relationships? You could be unaware of issues like loyalty, trust, and connectedness could be more important than you realize. 

I am willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you already have a strong suspicion that you are carrying old unresolved wrongs about relationships. If you said “yes” so much of was stated above is true for you, so you need to begin to free yourself for all your old resentment baggage in order for you to have successful relationships. 

So take ownership of yourself by investing in who you are at this moment. Learn about your beliefs you carry about relationships. Remember you can't be affected by something that you are not holding onto.  So start to make a positive change by discovery more about your beliefs and resentments you hold onto about relationships.  

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11 Tips on How to Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Battling negative thoughts, attempting to forget they even exist is very hard. Trying to shift your negative thoughts to positive thoughts is even harder. When you are not able you feels so defeated and powerless. Seems as though your negative thoughts are constantly consuming our thinking time and the amount of time is increasing. It is becoming increasingly important to know how to hack into your mind and powerful to change your negative thoughts, but also how to consistency manage them over time. 

5 Quick Management Tips to manage negative thoughts patterns and help your mindfulness:

1. Get out in nature. The sunshine and fresh air can help you to feel better and to change your perspective. Simply getting up and moving can help to boost your mood and produce positive thoughts.

2. If you are spiritual or religious, use prayer or talking to your higher power.

3. Use creative art, journaling, exercise, expressive writing, and dance.

4. Listen to music that inspires you.

5. Memorize quotes to defuse thoughts patterns.

6. Eat a healthy and mindfully.

7. Count backwards from 100 in increments of 4.

These management ideas will enhance your refocusing skills and help you to master the thoughts that stream in your mind.

Longer Term Management Ideas

Tune into positive thoughts daily.  

Avoid trying to immediately fight off or ignore a negative thought. Rather form a new one positive thought to replace it and focus on that new one by repeating the new thought often.

Be mindful of your general physical and mental health 

When you are not feeling well physically mentally or spiritually, the amount of negative thinking you have could increase. Therefore, it is crucial to take care of yourself especially during difficult times.

Eat a well-balanced diet filled with fruits, vegetables, protein, and vitamins. 

Limit your drinking alcohol consumption. Don't over use non-prescribed prescription medication, or engaging in other forms of substance use.

Exercise consistently, at least 3 to 4 times a week. Exercise is a great way to increase positive emotions, increase physical strength and distract yourself from negative thinking. Consider involving yourself in alternative forms of working-out like: hiking, rock-climbing, dancing, aerobics, martial arts and yoga.

Educate, Increase Knowledge and Support 

Reading inspiring articles is a great start. Reading experiences of others with his/her experiences with negative thoughts and how they change them from bad to good can give you hope that change is possible. Search the Internet with phases such as "positivity," "positive phrases," “how to forget negative thoughts” etc. There are many positive people out there that wish to help others to evict negative thought patterns. There is support groups on the internet to help you increase your skill with changing negative thought patterns.

Seek Help 

If negative thoughts are causing you to have extreme emotional swings, or to engage in risky or harmful behaviors. Coaching, therapy or other forms treatment may help. Contact a counselor, psychologist or life coach. There are several treatment techniques specifically help people alter their negative thinking. No one technique helps everyone. Find on that helps you.   

If ruminating on negative thoughts overwhelms you, might explore medication options for a short time. Consult a psychiatrist for additional information or to discuss options.

5 More Tips

1. Positive thought patterns are contagious. Stop surrounding yourself with negative thinking people. Rather surround yourself with people who make you happy and are optimistic.

2. Monitor your thoughts in the moment and analyze appropriateness of each thought. Be aware that your mind is often only tricking you to believe something negative, when that isn't true.

3. Start changing your negative thoughts one at a time. Don’t over expect that you can change all your negative thinking patterns all at once. Be realistic. It is much easier to change negativity to positivity incrementally. Attempting to change all really bad thoughts to a really good thoughts quickly is impossible. 

4. Don't push yourself to think positive. Don't try to be perfect. Even the smallest mistake can throw you into more negative thoughts.

5. Be your own support. Accept that negative thoughts are part of the contrast in life and keep in mind that if you don't know what you don't like; you will also not know what you do like. You can choose your thoughts but don't be discouraged if you fall back now and then. Try instead to muster a smile and find the humor in the fact that your mind can be very stubborn at times. Be nice to yourself.

                                  

                                             


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5 Tips on Cleansing Your Inner Voice

Your brain is a miraculous organ. It can be a powerful benefit or crushing adversary. One tool that your brain has that helps you to communicate with yourself is your inner voice. 
Sometimes that voice in your head attempts to rule your life and suggests it knows best. Your inner voice can take on many forms. Your inner voice can be either supportive or critical depending on how good your relationship with self is or much self-love you have for you. 

Inner Voice Turned Negative (Gone Rogue) 

If the inner self voice takes on the form of inner critic, the content of its messages becomes doubtful, judgmental, negative, depressing, self-defeating, self-limiting or second guessing. The content of the inner critic originates from one's mind code. Then the negative self-talk can produce negative thought or sets of thoughts that get caught in a constant loop. Constant thought looping, or otherwise known as ruminating, can result in a thought addiction. 


Definition of Rumination

Rumination is defined as passively focusing the mind’s attention on a negative belief causing an associated emotional state to surface like depression, and over negatively thinking about the causes, meanings, possible results or consequences of the content or beliefs of the mind. People who ruminate are ineffective in taking action, slow in problem-solving, and hesitate at decision making. Rumination causes fixed, inflexible, and negative thinking.

Research

Recent research studying individuals with a lifetime of mood disorders found that rumination is one of the strongest correlations to the onset of depression. Rumination or thought looping makes relapse into depression easier. Research data revealed that formation of ruminating thoughts are cognitive features associated with a vulnerability to developing, maintaining, and relapsing into a depressive disorder. 

So, the more a person ponders on a negative thought or cluster of thoughts over and over again, the harder it is to release that thought … and it can have devastating results on his or her life. Ruminating can be categorized by negative, rigid beliefs a person has formed about themselves, their self-worth, and confidence. Typically, these beliefs involve conditional standards in areas of self-evaluation, perfectionism, and approval of others.

A side effect of ruminating is the creation of dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions of you and the world outside of you. Dysfunctional attitudes and negative perceptions are a direct reflection of the content of the mind (i.e., what you think or feel about you). Rumination is associated with the processes of the mind, that is, how you relate to the content streaming through the mind.

Quiet your inner voice through enforcing new rules

One way to quiet your mind is by daily cleaning out the clutter in your mind and choosing to not feed your inner voice content. Choose to not give that inner voice content value.

Don’t allow junk into your mind. Be mindful of what you allow inside your mind. Monitor your own words, thoughts and attention. 

Don't give inappropriate content power and influence over your mind. 

Don't give your inner voice energy. 

Don't spend time gossiping, bad mouthing other people, judging other people, finding faults in others, or allow yourself to be consumed in negative thoughts like jealousy, guilt or fear, or constructing excuses to cover up how you actually feel. It doesn’t matter if this happens only in your mind or you verbalize it with others. Make the choice to not entertain these thoughts.

Don't spend mental time doubting, second guessing, judging, arguing, or being mean to you.  

Afterthoughts

The more you monitor and pay attention to your beliefs and the content your thoughts, the more influence you will have over your thoughts. Be observant of how you manifest the content through listening to words that you speak. The main question you should ask yourself … is the content of your beliefs, words, or thoughts holding you captive, causing you to ruminate constantly and bringing you down. If your answer is yes, then you need to cleanse your inner voice.

5 Tips to Cleanse Your Inner Voice

Follow these 5 tips to inner voice cleanse and achieve inner peace:

1. Be mindful of your thought content. Take time and notice in the moment when you are having a thought. Is the thought negative, self-destructive, sabotaging or creating emotional discomfort for you? 

2. Ask yourself: “Is this thought moving me toward or away from my beliefs, and is it how I want to live?”

3. If the thought is moving you away from the kind of person you want to be or how you want to believe, then clear the thought from your stream of thinking. Realize that this thought is just a thought and not an authority. 

4. Recognize and uncover the underlying emotion or emotions that may be fueling your negative, unhelpful thought stream. Shift the emotion(s) by breathing through it for a few minutes until it diminishes. Choose an empowering or cleansing word to help your mind let go of the repetitive negative cycle. I like to repeat “release – release” in my mind in order to move past a negative thought loop.

5. Empower yourself by remembering that the nature of the mind is to think. It is a tool, not the ruler. Your mind should be constantly producing thoughts for you. So be creative and consciously alter your thought stream by producing positive thoughts. Focus on these positive thoughts, and inject them into your stream of consciousness every day.

                                                  

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Your Conscious Mind Does not Control You

Conscious mind in the human brain has been seen for decades as the strongest part of the mind. It has been believed that the conscious mind has the power to solve problems, make decisions and has the ability to get things done for you in life.

General theory by professionals is that your conscious mind controls 10 percent of your waking thought content and actions. Which infers that your subconscious mind influences 90 percent of why you act, fell, react and think the way that you do.

Definition of Conscious Mind

Conscious mind is defined as the localized center of conscious control. The internal mental region in the human brain which seems to govern your actions, thoughts and reactions through problem solving and decision making during waking state.

New Enlightenment

A new theory proposed by a San Francisco State research team through more than 10 years of study that your conscious mind has considerable less in control. Your conscious mind is far less powerful in your life than previously believed. Their proposed theory is counter intuitive to popular beliefs and appears to go against everything you have been taught or thought about what the conscious mind does.

Previous theory generally thought that the conscious mind solved problems and guides you to a course of action but from the research it does not. It was found that the conscious mind does the same simple task over and over. It gives you the impression that it is doing more than it actually is.

The research findings found in the San Francisco State study was that the conscious mind serves as a passive channel rather than an active force. It is far less influential and significant.

This new theory based on the 10 year research expounds that the conscious is more like the interpreter of messages sent from the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is the presenter of the information not the maker of decisions or the mind that acts on the knowledge. It seems that the information in the conscious mind is not created through the conscious routes. The conscious mind doesn't do as much as you thought it did. In fact San Francisco State study reported that the conscious mind is just the middle-man between the subconscious mind and your outside world.
The research also found “one conscious thought does not lead to another”.

After Thoughts

As a result of this new information that your conscious mind is more like the tip of an iceberg and the real decision maker is the subconscious mind or the mass of the iceberg below the surface of the water line. The subconscious mind is more influential and powerful than thought in how you live your life

Therefore in truth it is the subconscious mind that is the driver and regulator of your life. Within the subconscious mind is coded data accepted through your life which determines, influences and governs how you will act, feel, think, and reaction towards yourself, others and situations. When situations triggers your subconscious mind’s data, it send instructions to the conscious mind to interpret through thought and manifests a reaction outwardly by way of emotions and behaviors. So it is the conscious mind that interprets subconscious core beliefs, codes, data and messages. 

Therefore in order to understand yourself fully on why you do what you do, think the way you do and feel the way you do, it becomes more important to understand your mind code and the elements of your personal philosophy.  

7 Tips on How Your Imagination can be the Power of Change

"All changes in yourself and life start in the imagination. The imagination is capable of turning mind energy into realized drive and success."  

How to change your life positive

Simply use your imagination. Imagination is one of our most powerful tools available to you as a person.  Imagination is the one thing within us, as humans, that gives us the amazing ability to "create what is not there yet".  

Think about it.  Our imagination can truly assist you in creating something new? Everything that we been created in the world has stemmed from a seed in someone's imagination. Everyone has this ability. Our imagination contains the magnificent power to generate thoughts or concepts (those intentions we wish, or desire or expect) which can be manifested in the future. Every idea, dream and every goal can be achieved by accessing our creative mind, the imagination.  And, with a little effort, focus and practice, a constant flow of ideas will come to you with ease.  This is the brilliance of your imagination in your brain.

In order to access your imagination you have to spend time with yourself.  

7 tips on accessing the power of your imagination 

1. Find a peaceful environment

2. Get quiet and be calm Remain quiet and calm

3. Ask for internal guidance with and / or inspiration about a 
    specific desire  

4. Then focus on the desire or idea

5. Repeat your desire out loud and repeat in your 4 times then listen

6. Wait patiently for a flow of thoughts that will come 
     into your mind

7. Listen, hear your answers and then write it down 
    immediately after the session


After Thoughts


Write down all the ideas and thoughts that arise during your session whether you think they are important or not.  Do not discount or rationalize any thoughts that come to mind. Then, rest in the faith that your imagination will generate ideas, thoughts and solutions to accomplish your desire. Know that imagination possesses all the energy you need to continue generating more ideas, thoughts and solutions on the way to accomplishing success in your life. 

Believe, have faith and harvest the rewards of your effort. The more you practice the easier access to your imagination will come. Your imagination will open to you to abundance.

Following these tips will help you make a positive change and reach greater success.


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